Help Me, Save Me

CASEY’S POV

God, I hate coming to the realization of bad things.

It’s been what?...Two and half months since I’ve seen the guys. They’ve been gone on a world tour and it’s been the hardest two and half months ever! Why?

TWO AND HALF MONTHS BACK

Johnny and I stepped into the living room when we finally got home from the hospital. Johnny dropped his arm from my shoulder and smiled brightly at me. I had to smile just as brightly. We finally got Jimmy to wake up and talking. He nearly cried when he saw all of us standing there, especially his wife. Man, it was such a sweet moment when we all saw his blue eyes light up when he saw his wife. It made me forget my shit-ass problem with Zacky.

Of course all of that was ruined when Zacky finally got his ass over to the hospital and found Jimmy’s room. He was fully dressed, but his left eye was slightly bruised and a band aid was right under it. You could start to see the blood soaking into the band aid and show through the band aid. A trucker hat and a bandana covered his probably extremely messy hair. His eyes looked quickly to Jimmy but then his eyes moved to Johnny and me. And his gaze looked like he was going to kill Johnny. And honestly I felt a little bad for Zacky. But most of me was sticking up from my brother. Cause at least he loves me.

I remember Matt looking at Zacky confused and in shock and simply asking, “Dude what the hell happened to you?” And everybody wanted an answer. Zacky gaze continue to pierce through Johnny and I thought Zacky was going to say “Why don’t you ask this asshole?” but he replied, “I fell down some stairs.” Of course no one was going to believe him the way he was looking at Johnny. Everybody in the room turned to look at Johnny but no one said a word.

That’s when the silence got uncomfortable and Johnny decided that when should bail. We said our goodbyes to the guys and I gave Jimmy a quick tight hug. Then we had to push past Zacky to get out of the room. I gave him one last quick look and his bright green eyes looked like sad puppy eyes as I walked away. Oh how much I wanted to believe that he loved me.

On the car ride home, Johnny cheered me up by playing one of my favorite songs and reminding me of all of the great jokes Jimmy told as he woke up. That’s the great thing about Johnny, he know just what to do to cheer me up.

Anyway, when we got home, I was laughing so hard in the car that I got the urge to pee. After me and Johnny finished smile at each other, I dashed to the bathroom as quickly as I could and slammed the door shut.

While I was going, I heard glass breaking coming from inside the house. What in the fucking hell is Johnny doing? I finished doing my business, and I ran out to see if Johnny was okay. I heard more glass breaking and then I heard something like something being washed down the drain. I walked slowly into kitchen and saw Johnny leaning over the sink with a pack of Budweiser right next to him.

“Johnny what are you doing?” I asked cautiously. Johnny turned around and I saw Johnny pouring the beer down the sink drain. There was already at least a dozen broken bottles already in the sink, including bottles of Jack and whiskey. “JOHNNY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I screamed as he smashed the two bottles in his hands in the sink.

“Helping you get sober. From now on there won’t be any alcohol in this house until you beat your addiction!” Johnny told me as he grabbed the rest of the beer and smashed it into the sink. I trembled at the sound of the glass breaking and I ran over to the sink to see the last of the beer go down the drain. My lifeline. All gone.

PRESENT

I haven’t a drop of alcohol in months. It’s been killing every day. I’m not allowed to go anywhere without Amber and…I think I’m going fucking insane from it! I never realized being force to be sober would be so hard! But then again, I guess it’s better for everybody involved. I look down at my stomach and place my hand on top of it. Everybody involved.

AMBER’S POV

I walked into Johnny’s living room to see Casey sitting on his couch alone with her hand on her stomach. I don’t know if I should be happy for her or sad. She doesn’t look too happy. But then again she hasn’t been happy since Johnny and the guys left. I wasn’t much happier either. Life is so boring without them, especially Brian. God, I miss him so damn much.

I walked back down the dark hallway and into my dimly lit room to finish unpacking the rest of my clothes. An hour ago, Andy came home from his tour and I came and picked up the rest of my clothes from his house. He begged and pleaded for me to stay and work this out, but I could literary smell her perfume on him and I knew he moved on. I just grabbed my clothes, gave him the divorce papers, told him he better have those signed by the end of the week, and left. I knew Johnny wouldn’t mind me living here. After all, I am keeping his sister sober.

Well, I guess I’m not the only reason that is keeping Casey sober anymore.

TWO MONTHS AGO

“Amber we need to talk. Now,” Casey grimly said to me, her eyes wide with fear. I turned away from the soup I was making and I looked directly at her. She looked down at the floor and the tears began to fall. I ran over to her and hugged her close.

“Casey what’s wrong?” I asked concerned. She cried harder and she began to dig her fingernails into my back. I cringe a little bit but it didn’t hurt too badly. Her breaths got deeper and shallower and she finally burst out, “Amber, I’m pregnant!”

“What? Since when?” I yelled pulling away from her. She wiped her eyes, her eyeliner now running down her face, and sighed. “It’s only been a few weeks. But I missed my time of my month a few weeks back and I took the test. It came back positive.”

“But Case, who’s the father?” I asked, but I sneaking suspicion I knew who it was. Casey began to cry again as she cried the words, “Zacky is..” I knew it.

“Does he know?” I asked and she shook his head. “I don’t want him to know,” She murmured.

“He’s the father. He should know,” I told her but she just shook her head again. “He doesn’t love me. He won’t love the kid. Why should I put him through the stress of dealing with it?” How could she say that? Everybody knows that Zacky loves Casey!

“Besides, I haven’t talk to him for weeks. I’ve talked to Johnny, Matt, Brian, and Jimmy, but not Zacky! He’s probably moved on anyway,” Casey continued to say. I shook my head. “Zacky can’t move on if you’re still his girlfriend-“ I began to tell her but she broke me off by yelling, “I broke up with Zacky!” I wasn’t expecting that. I began searching for the right words to say but they never came. Casey sadly stormed off and locked herself in her room.

If Zacky and Casey aren’t together, how in the hell is Casey expected take care of the baby herself?

PRESENT

My cell phone began ringing and it snapped me from my trance. I quickly answered it without checking the caller ID so I could get my mind off of Casey.

“Hello?”

“Amber! Holy shit I’ve missed you like crazy!” Brian’s cheerful voice yells into the phone. My heart nearly skips a beat when I heard his voice. I’ve been longing to hear his voice and I was extremely happy to hear it again.

“Oh my God Brian! How are you?” I yelled happily. He chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile. I just wish I could see his sweet brown eyes…

“A lot better now that I’m talking to you,” He sweetly said. I can feel myself blushing. Oh if only Brian wasn’t married. Wait, no! I did not just think that! I could never steal Brian away from Michelle!

“How are you and Casey?” Brian finally asked since I was silent. The bad thoughts about Casey came back to me and I frowned. And for some unknown reason, Brian read my mind and asked, “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Casey,” I simply told him. I wish I was with him to I could hug him and he would make everything so much better. “What about Casey?” He asked, concerned. I sighed. I didn’t want to tell him that Casey was pregnant because he would just tell Zacky and Johnny. And that something I wanted to avoid. If Johnny ever found out, all hell would break loose. And Zacky’s and Johnny’s friendship doesn’t need to be broken any more than it already is.

“Amber?” Bri question since I wasn’t answering. He sounded extremely worried. But I didn’t know what to tell him.

“Brian, when’s your next break?” I asked, as I tried putting a plan together. Casey cannot take care of this baby alone.

“Amber, please don’t change the subject,” Brian told me but I shook my head and told him, “I’m not trying to change the subject; I’m trying to help Case. Now when is your next break?”

“The band gets off next weekend. Why? You need to see my face?” Brian asked, taunting me. I thought seriously for a moment about how much I really did miss him. I did miss seeing is brown eyes, his dark brown spikey hair, his tattooed arms…

“No, I don’t need to see your face,” I lied, jokily. “I need you to send Zacky back over to Huntington Beach next weekend.”

“Why?” He asked, suddenly confused. He almost sounded hurt.

“Casey needs to tell something to Zacky’s face ASAP. Please don’t tell Johnny just send Zacky back here,” I told him. I could him sigh, almost in relief, but then he asked why again. God I hate lying to Brian.

“I promise to tell you later. I want Zack and Case to talk it out first before I tell anybody else. Okay?” I reassured him. He groaned and whined a little about me not telling him, and honestly I wanted to tell him. But I had to keep my silence.

“Fine. Buy hey Amber, I got to get going. Matt will call the house later tonight. He said that he really wanted to talk to Casey. I promise to talk to you soon, okay? I love you,” I heard him say and my heart almost stopped. Brian just told me he loved me! But he’s married! But then I remember we were like brother and sister and he probably meant it that way.

“Love you too Brian. Call me soon!” I told him and he said goodbye and then hung up. I set the phone down on my bed and just stared at it. I already was beginning to miss him. Brian was the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and no matter how I much want to deny it, I couldn’t anymore.

I fucking love Synsyter Gates. And the harsh truth hit that I couldn’t have him. And that I knew that we could never be more than friends.

And that made me wish that Casey and Zacky would work their shit over. I knew deep down Casey wants to have this baby with Zacky. She’s just afraid of what Zacky will say. But I know Zacky will support the baby 110% of the way.

The only thing keeping them apart is fear. Casey’s fear of being a bad mother and Zacky’s fear of Johnny.