Help Me, Save Me

JIMMY’S POV

Calm down Jimmy. Just wait until tonight. Just…fucking…wait.

I could feel the sweat starting to drip down the back of my neck. I looked down at Casey to see if noticed anything. She just seemed to getting into the conversation with the guys. That’s it!

“Hey guys, excuse me,” I jumped up from my seat and dashed to the bathroom. I tried to ignore the stares the guys were giving me, especially Casey’s. Yeah, hers hurt the most.

I yanked the bathroom door open and slammed the door shut and made sure it was locked. I looked around in the small white bathroom. In a mad dash, I just sat myself down in a spot between the toilet and shower. The spot was just about big enough so my ass could fit and I had a little bit of arm room. And that’s all I needed.

I slowly reached for my sweatshirt pocket, and pulled out a little plastic bag. In the bag, was a needle, filled was my hell. The hell I was addicted to.

I reached for the needle inside the bag. My fingers were trembling and I could feel myself already going numb.

Why couldn’t I wait till I get home to do this? Why am I doing this in my best friend’s bathroom?

Why am I even doing this in the first place?

I took the cap off of the tip of the needle. I pressed the needle to my skin, right next to my old track marks. I didn’t break the skin, but I knew I was going to soon. I closed my eyes, and leaned my head against the wall behind me. My breathing began a lot deeper and shallower. My mind immediately went to the image of my beautiful wife, Leana.

The pain I caused her. The worries I put her through. The troubles she suffers through. Everything bad that happens to her is my fault! All because I can’t control my fucking addiction!

I raise the needle up and force it down into my arm, letting the heroin run through my blood. Leana’s image began to fade from my mind, and a tear escapes my eye.

“I’m sorry…” I mumble and my mind goes black.

AMBER’S POV

Slam!

Yup now I’m awake.

Who is the smart one who slamming doors when they know I’m sleeping? I sighed. Might as well get up. I looked over at my alarm clock. Whoa, it’s noon! And I became even more startled when I noticed the room I was in wasn’t my room. But soon I broke out of my half-asleep zone and I remembered that I was in Johnny’s home. This was one of his extra spare rooms he had.

I heard my cell phone buzzing on the dresser right next to me. I quickly looked at it and it said “Andy.” My husband was finally calling after about five days of me not hearing from him. That wasn’t normal for him.

“Hello?” I answered into my phone. I could hear Andy’s and a bunch of other people’s laughs through the phone. “Oh hey babe, how are you doing?” Andy asked, seeming a little too happy. I was extremely confused.

“It’s about time you called!” I told Andy, and he and the guys just laughed harder. “Calm down babe! I’m sorry!” Andy said, laughing the whole time. I could hear his band mates say in the background say “Man, she’s crazy!” and “She needs to calm down!” and “Andy, is that your wife or mom you’re talking to?” Oh, that last one stung. And Andy was laughing the whole time, with the guys. That made the stinging worse.

“Andy what the he-“ I began to say but I stopped when the guys laugher soften, and all I heard was a female voice speak. “Wow, Andy that’s who you’re married to? I could be so much better!” Okay that’s it!

“Andy! Who’s there?” I screamed but all I could hear was their annoying laughing. Then I heard Andy say, “Nice one Scout!” Who the fuck is Scout?

Finally I just slammed the phone down and ended the conversation. I couldn’t take their freaking laughing anymore. I don’t know what was up with Andy, but it’s something that I’m not liking.

I sighed and I put my head in my hands. I didn’t expect on waking up to that. I could already tell I wasn’t going to like staying at Johnny’s place, even if it is amazingly nice.

I decided to get up and out of my room. Maybe I could even get a shower in. Showers could always calm my nerves. I opened up my door and peeked down the hallway. There were a lot of voices coming from the living room. The voices sounded familiar but I couldn’t tell who it was. I would find out soon enough.

I walked over to the bathroom door, and noticed it was closed. I knocked on the door. Nothing. “Hello?” I called as I tried to open the door. Locked. Damn. I was just about to push on the door even harder when I felt arms wrapped around my waist in lift my high in the air.

“When in the darkest place,
You’re my light, you’re my saving grace.
You’ll be an angel but you’ll always be,
Little sister,” A soft voice sang to me and my smile widen. “Brian Haner Jr.!” I cheerfully yelled and I looked down into his dark brown eyes. He set me down I turned to him to pull him into a tight hug. Brian is like the brother I never had. He was the best man at my wedding, and he was my best friend throughout my life. At my wedding, Brian dedicated “Little Sister” by New Medicine to me. It’s been one of my favorite songs ever since then. And I loved Brian for that.

“Hey kiddo, how have you been?” Brian asked as we stood in the hallway hugging each other. “I wish I could say better,” I told him and he just hugged me tighter. “I’m sorry to hear that little sister,” he told me. “Why don’t come out into the living room and talk with the rest of the guys and me?” Well so much for my shower. But since I couldn’t get into the bathroom, I smiled and Brian put his tattooed arm around my shoulders, and led me towards the living room.

THE NEXT DAY

CASEY’S POV

I snuck past the past out men in my brother’s living room. Johnny was sprawled out on the couch, along with his girlfriend, Lacey. Matt was out right smack dab middle of the room. Jimmy was out in a chair, his head and legs hanging off the sides. Brian was asleep in the other chair on the other side of the room, sitting straight up. I looked around at all the sleeping men, looking for my man, but he was nowhere to be found. I sighed. Oh well.

I walked over to the kitchen, and I began making a cup of coffee. It was four in the morning and I had to be at work in a half an hour. The café I applied for actually hired me and today was my first day. I was too thrilled about waking up at four every morning, but I needed the money. I just gotta deal with it.

A small oven light was on, so I saw a reflection of myself in the window that was dead ahead of me. My hair was in a loose, messy ponytail. My uniform looked something from Starbucks, but it said the café’s name instead. My eyes looked extremely tired, and my skin seemed really pale. I turned away from the window cause I didn’t want to see my ugly self again. My attention turned back to the almost finished coffee in the coffee pot. Warm arms wrapped around my waist, and a smell of alcohol filled the air. I head rested on my shoulder, and I looked over to see the drunken eyes of Zacky Vengeance.

“Morning babe,” Zacky mumbled. He was obviously still drunk from the night before. Johnny and all the guys stayed up drinking last night, and then they all crashed here. Amber and I were smart and decided not drink. I will admit it was hard to say no to drinking but Amber kept reminding me that I had to work today. Plus, I was starting to feel good about being sober for so long. I’m beginning to feel like maybe now I can actually beat this addiction!

“Morning Zacky,” I mumbled and kissed his cheek. He gave a smirk and he tried to kiss me back. I began pushing him away, and he was surprised I was fighting away from him.

“What’s wrong Case?” he asked. I turned towards him and I saw the pain in his eyes. He looked like a hurt puppy with big green eyes. I looked down at my converse; I couldn’t bear to look at his eyes. “I have to get to work today, I can’t be late. And I would love to spend time with you right now, but I can’t be late to work and I got other things to do before I leave for work,” I told him. I looked up at him and then said, “But I promise you tonight, we spend as much time together as you want.” He immediately brightens up and wrapped his big tattooed arms around me. He still had the strong smell of Jack Daniels in his breath. Ah, how I love that smell.

I realize what time it is, and I quickly pull away from Zacky and I begin to get my coffee together. I dash around, grabbing everything I need in a mad dash. Zacky just watches me from the same spot as I left him in.

As I slow down so I can pour my coffee, Zacky grabs me by my arm and whips me around so I am facing him. Then, he presses his lips into mine. And just as soon as it started, he pulls away and he walks away from me.

But I’m unable to move. Did Zacky just kiss me? The man that I just met a few days ago, just kissed me? The reality sunk in and I smiled big. He did kiss me! Zacky fucking Vengeance just kissed me! I cheered some more in my mind as I grabbed my coffee and walked out the door to the car.

My natural instinct was to go to the passenger side because I still don’t have my driver’s license back. I got it revoked last time I was drinking. I got all settled into the car, and I began thinking about me and Zacky again.

As time passed by, I began to realize that the outside scenery didn’t seem to be changing. My eyes widen, my shot forward in my seat, and I remembered that I was supposed to wake up Amber so she could take me to work today! I looked down at my watch. 4:29. Just fucking great.

First day on the job and I already see myself losing this job.

I sighed and jumped up in my seat and yanked the car door open. I dashed back to the house door so I could wake up Amber.