Status: Random Crap Goes Here
Inside Bruins Hockey With Micky And Marchy
Episode Three: The Creep
The locker room was calm.
This isn’t a good sign.
Cautiously, I stepped inside, Tuukka at my side.
“Roxy, what are you doing?” He asked.
“It’s calm. Why aren’t you freaked out?” I responded.
“Cause I’m not Roxanne.” He said with a smile before walking in.
“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?” I cried, running after him. Before I could get my bearings, I heard little Seguin call out.
“CAMERA’S ROLLING! TARGET IN SIGHT!”
“What are you-!?” I was cut off instantly.
“WHEN YOU SEE A FLY GIRL IN THE LOCKER ROOM, DO THE CREEP AHH!” Bursting out of nowhere wearing their uniforms, hair slicked down with water, pencil mustaches drawn on their upper lip with eye black and wearing HUGE creeper glasses…was Team Canada. They were all in costume creeping towards me with scary ass smiles, knees popping up and down, and arms all stubby. “DO THE CREEP AHHHH!” The entire locker room was also being the chorus to all of this shenanigans.
I quickly booked it to Tuukka.
“I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP!” I dove behind my boyfriend and wrapped my arms around his waist, face smashed up against his back. “TUUKKA! SAVE ME FROM THE SEX OFFENDERS!” All he did was laugh as Boychuk, Bergeron, and Marchand continued creeping towards me like the Lonely Island music video. “TRAITOR! YOU’RE NOT PROTECTING ME!” I yelled at him. The entire room was in hysterics at this. I continued to use my boyfriend as a shield, my face peeping around him at Team Canada, WHO HADN’T STOPED! “GET AWAY, GET AWAY, GET AWAY! EXIT! GETAWAY! TUUKKA YOU’RE COMING WITH ME!” I quickly dragged him out of the room with me and Team Canada finally started bursting into hysterics.
*General POV*
“You catch every moment of this!?” Bergeron called to Tyler. Tyler closed the camera with a smile.
“Yes I did!” A few minutes later, Rask came barging into the room.
“I JUST HAD SEEEEX, AND IT FELT SO GOOD!” Everyone looked at him then started bursting out laughing, Boychuk running over to him and gave him a high five.
“You’re going along the Lonely Island theme! I love it!”
BAM!
The doors burst open and Roxy came charging in, tackling Tuukka to the floor.
“YOU ASSHOLE!” She cried. “YOU WOULD INSTIGATE ON THIS!” Team Canada just stared at the scuffle then looked at each other.
“You would never guess they were dating.” Bergeron said.
“Doesn’t matter cause…I JUST HAD SEEEX!” Marchand cried, starting to dance around the room in victory.
“AND IT FELT SO GOOD!” The locker room followed suit.
“HEY! IDIOTS! PRACTICE STARTED TEN MINUTES AGO! GET OUT HERE!” Roared coach and every single player quickly darted to the rink.
*****
“So what is your favorite thing about being in the NHL?” Jeremy the cameraman asked me, trying hard not to crack a smile. I rolled my eyes.
“Marchand is behind me making faces isn’t he?”
“NO HE ISN’T!” Marchy cried out. I whipped around and smacked the idiot before turning back to the camera.
“Well Jeremy, I have to say that what I love about being in the NHL is the thrill I get from being on the ice-”
“AND ON THE ICE WITH YOUR BFFS!” Marchand blurted out.
“MARCHAND, GET OUT OF THIS!” I cried, chasing him away. I then skated back to the camera. “And fans, it may not seem it but another thing I love about being in the NHL is the closeness with the team. I don’t have a family anymore really and these guys really have that dysfunctional, loving attitude you get from your family. Oh, and definitely the fans, I love the fans and the support the-”
“WHEN YOU SEE A FINE CHICK SKATING OUT ON THE RINK DO THE CREEP AHHHH!” Before I could finish talking to the camera for the new Insider’s video, Team Canada came bursting into view with creepy smiles and the glasses (no more mustaches) and doing the dance.
“AHHHH!!!!” I cried skating as fast as I could away from them. “JEREMY, WE’LL CONTINUE THIS INTERVIEW LATER! TUUUUUUUK!!”
*****
“Alright team, last night’s game you were a bit…rusty. You won the game but barely. Look, you have to push yourself hard and don’t give up that god damn fight! Now I need you all to practice hard ass skating right now. Roxy, listen to this.”
“Hey!” I called out to Coach, after he blatantly pointed out my lack of speed.
“Don’t worry Roxy…Tyler’s got the camera…we can get him for you.” Boychuk said, as him, Bergy, and Marchy put on their glass and got their creeper smiles on. I looked at the camera.
“Remind me to smack the Lonely Island if I ever get a chance…” I muttered to it. Coach had his back to the three as they start creeping towards him. Everyone Coach was addressing was snorting into their gloves hard.
“What the fuck you all laughing at? You think losing a game is funny?” Coach then turned around and saw Team Canada. “HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE-”
“WHEN YOUR COACH IS FANTASTIC EVEN THOUGH YOUR SPASTIC, DO THE CREEP AHHH!” Coach quickly started to back away and everyone started to die of laughter.
“SUCIDES, YOU THREE NOW!”
*****
“Hey Micky!” I looked over at Tyler who had the camera.
“Yeah?”
“Who do you think the three should creep on next?” I looked around at the rink and watched some of the guys shooting on Thomas and I got a devious smile.
“Even though I hate this new thing, they need to sneak up on Thomas from behind!” As if on cue, the three said pranksters came cheerily up and rubbed their hands.
“Oh don’t worry Micky…we’ve got this.” Smacking my face I sighed.
“What did I do…” With the coaches and Thomas all busy Team Canada was able to sneak around and position behind the net and creeping towards a completely focused Timmy. As they neared him, he made a tremendous save against Wheeler and that’s when Team Canada broke out into song.
“WHEN YOU’RE GOALIE IS BEING BADASS, YOU JUST HAVE TO HARASS, WITH THE CREEP AHHH!!” Timmy quickly began to scuffle away on his ass on the ice and into his goal.
“DAMMIT! Even in goal you aren’t safe! Who sent you!?”
“MICKY…MICKY…MICKYMICKYMICKY!” The guys said trying to do the creepy jumping dance but failing.
“Ok, I can’t do this anymore…” Bergeron said, skating away with tears of laughter in his eye. Marchand and Boychuk were leaning on each other for support and Uncle Timmy pointed his goalie stick at me.
“You…” He said.
“AHHH!!!” I cried, skating away.
“That’s it…I’m quitting…I’m retiring…” Coach Julien sighed, staring at the ceiling.
This isn’t a good sign.
Cautiously, I stepped inside, Tuukka at my side.
“Roxy, what are you doing?” He asked.
“It’s calm. Why aren’t you freaked out?” I responded.
“Cause I’m not Roxanne.” He said with a smile before walking in.
“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?” I cried, running after him. Before I could get my bearings, I heard little Seguin call out.
“CAMERA’S ROLLING! TARGET IN SIGHT!”
“What are you-!?” I was cut off instantly.
“WHEN YOU SEE A FLY GIRL IN THE LOCKER ROOM, DO THE CREEP AHH!” Bursting out of nowhere wearing their uniforms, hair slicked down with water, pencil mustaches drawn on their upper lip with eye black and wearing HUGE creeper glasses…was Team Canada. They were all in costume creeping towards me with scary ass smiles, knees popping up and down, and arms all stubby. “DO THE CREEP AHHHH!” The entire locker room was also being the chorus to all of this shenanigans.
I quickly booked it to Tuukka.
“I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP!” I dove behind my boyfriend and wrapped my arms around his waist, face smashed up against his back. “TUUKKA! SAVE ME FROM THE SEX OFFENDERS!” All he did was laugh as Boychuk, Bergeron, and Marchand continued creeping towards me like the Lonely Island music video. “TRAITOR! YOU’RE NOT PROTECTING ME!” I yelled at him. The entire room was in hysterics at this. I continued to use my boyfriend as a shield, my face peeping around him at Team Canada, WHO HADN’T STOPED! “GET AWAY, GET AWAY, GET AWAY! EXIT! GETAWAY! TUUKKA YOU’RE COMING WITH ME!” I quickly dragged him out of the room with me and Team Canada finally started bursting into hysterics.
*General POV*
“You catch every moment of this!?” Bergeron called to Tyler. Tyler closed the camera with a smile.
“Yes I did!” A few minutes later, Rask came barging into the room.
“I JUST HAD SEEEEX, AND IT FELT SO GOOD!” Everyone looked at him then started bursting out laughing, Boychuk running over to him and gave him a high five.
“You’re going along the Lonely Island theme! I love it!”
BAM!
The doors burst open and Roxy came charging in, tackling Tuukka to the floor.
“YOU ASSHOLE!” She cried. “YOU WOULD INSTIGATE ON THIS!” Team Canada just stared at the scuffle then looked at each other.
“You would never guess they were dating.” Bergeron said.
“Doesn’t matter cause…I JUST HAD SEEEX!” Marchand cried, starting to dance around the room in victory.
“AND IT FELT SO GOOD!” The locker room followed suit.
“HEY! IDIOTS! PRACTICE STARTED TEN MINUTES AGO! GET OUT HERE!” Roared coach and every single player quickly darted to the rink.
*****
“So what is your favorite thing about being in the NHL?” Jeremy the cameraman asked me, trying hard not to crack a smile. I rolled my eyes.
“Marchand is behind me making faces isn’t he?”
“NO HE ISN’T!” Marchy cried out. I whipped around and smacked the idiot before turning back to the camera.
“Well Jeremy, I have to say that what I love about being in the NHL is the thrill I get from being on the ice-”
“AND ON THE ICE WITH YOUR BFFS!” Marchand blurted out.
“MARCHAND, GET OUT OF THIS!” I cried, chasing him away. I then skated back to the camera. “And fans, it may not seem it but another thing I love about being in the NHL is the closeness with the team. I don’t have a family anymore really and these guys really have that dysfunctional, loving attitude you get from your family. Oh, and definitely the fans, I love the fans and the support the-”
“WHEN YOU SEE A FINE CHICK SKATING OUT ON THE RINK DO THE CREEP AHHHH!” Before I could finish talking to the camera for the new Insider’s video, Team Canada came bursting into view with creepy smiles and the glasses (no more mustaches) and doing the dance.
“AHHHH!!!!” I cried skating as fast as I could away from them. “JEREMY, WE’LL CONTINUE THIS INTERVIEW LATER! TUUUUUUUK!!”
*****
“Alright team, last night’s game you were a bit…rusty. You won the game but barely. Look, you have to push yourself hard and don’t give up that god damn fight! Now I need you all to practice hard ass skating right now. Roxy, listen to this.”
“Hey!” I called out to Coach, after he blatantly pointed out my lack of speed.
“Don’t worry Roxy…Tyler’s got the camera…we can get him for you.” Boychuk said, as him, Bergy, and Marchy put on their glass and got their creeper smiles on. I looked at the camera.
“Remind me to smack the Lonely Island if I ever get a chance…” I muttered to it. Coach had his back to the three as they start creeping towards him. Everyone Coach was addressing was snorting into their gloves hard.
“What the fuck you all laughing at? You think losing a game is funny?” Coach then turned around and saw Team Canada. “HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE-”
“WHEN YOUR COACH IS FANTASTIC EVEN THOUGH YOUR SPASTIC, DO THE CREEP AHHH!” Coach quickly started to back away and everyone started to die of laughter.
“SUCIDES, YOU THREE NOW!”
*****
“Hey Micky!” I looked over at Tyler who had the camera.
“Yeah?”
“Who do you think the three should creep on next?” I looked around at the rink and watched some of the guys shooting on Thomas and I got a devious smile.
“Even though I hate this new thing, they need to sneak up on Thomas from behind!” As if on cue, the three said pranksters came cheerily up and rubbed their hands.
“Oh don’t worry Micky…we’ve got this.” Smacking my face I sighed.
“What did I do…” With the coaches and Thomas all busy Team Canada was able to sneak around and position behind the net and creeping towards a completely focused Timmy. As they neared him, he made a tremendous save against Wheeler and that’s when Team Canada broke out into song.
“WHEN YOU’RE GOALIE IS BEING BADASS, YOU JUST HAVE TO HARASS, WITH THE CREEP AHHH!!” Timmy quickly began to scuffle away on his ass on the ice and into his goal.
“DAMMIT! Even in goal you aren’t safe! Who sent you!?”
“MICKY…MICKY…MICKYMICKYMICKY!” The guys said trying to do the creepy jumping dance but failing.
“Ok, I can’t do this anymore…” Bergeron said, skating away with tears of laughter in his eye. Marchand and Boychuk were leaning on each other for support and Uncle Timmy pointed his goalie stick at me.
“You…” He said.
“AHHH!!!” I cried, skating away.
“That’s it…I’m quitting…I’m retiring…” Coach Julien sighed, staring at the ceiling.
♠ ♠ ♠
So, I bet many of you understood that this is based off of the Lonely Island's new single: THE CREEP! If you don't know it YOU MUST GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!!! LINK IS BELOW!!!CLICK HERE!
Also, thank you MillerxKane88 with coming up with some of the lyrics :D