I Miss You So Far
sunshine
/remember me./
Remember the summertime? (your lip gloss smile, your scraped up knees and) Remember the sun? Remember the sunshine, the nighttime, the evening, the stars? Remember our promises, so spoken into stiff secret air and quiet rooms? Remember the scars we shared (me and your runaway scars)? Remember the blood spots on your sheets? Remember the John Hughes movies and the Stephen King movies? Remember the way we would hold onto our notebooks like they were life preservers and how in some ways they were? Remember the way we would shove them across to each other, baring souls through words, the way our hearts would pound and our fingers tremble?
/i lost my fear of falling./
There were promises made that never meant to be kept. There were silences that should never have been had. There were tears shed that spoke of the past. (come on angel, don’t you cry) There were high pitched voices and strained questions. There were notes when we couldn’t speak. There were lies when we couldn’t bear the truth. There were words spoken that were never meant to be said. (you’re running out of places to hide from me.) There were burning pieces of paper, destroying our thoughts. There were bouts of laughter when the seriousness abated. There were more pages in your book than in mine.
/your life will never be the same./
And then you changed. And then your age caught up with you. And then we slept alone, more and more frequently. And then he came, and then he stayed. And then there was jealously and anger and mostly, there was jealously. (to wage this war against your faith in me.) And then you put the bottle to your lips. And then you put the smoke in your lungs. (i’m not okay, you wear me out.) And then silent tears were more quiet than ever. And then the bridge of distance began. And then we built it up brick by brick.
/give ‘em hell kid./
Of course happiness came for you. Of course forgiveness was your policy. Of course you didn’t notice who you left behind. Of course you changed. (it’s just the hardest part of living.) Of course your life is yours to live. Of course your decisions are yours to make. Of course you are an adult now. (a condition that is terminal.) Of course there is no room for sadness, pessimism, and darkness. Of course, you know, I understand.
/to the end./
You know I need you. You know I don’t know how to live without you. You know you cannot stay. (i don’t blame you, and it’s not your fault that no one ever does.) You know the future is calling. You know there are millions of things I have to say. You know there is not much you can reply with. You know those summers have passed. You know it’s hard to care anymore. You know you’re tired of this. You know it’s easier to live without complications like me. You know dreams of California are over. (we don’t care, or need another song for california) You know we’re never gonna run away. You know it wasn’t wasted time. You know moving on is a natural occurrence. You know I forgive you. You know I adore you. You know I love you. You know I always will.
Remember the summertime? (your lip gloss smile, your scraped up knees and) Remember the sun? Remember the sunshine, the nighttime, the evening, the stars? Remember our promises, so spoken into stiff secret air and quiet rooms? Remember the scars we shared (me and your runaway scars)? Remember the blood spots on your sheets? Remember the John Hughes movies and the Stephen King movies? Remember the way we would hold onto our notebooks like they were life preservers and how in some ways they were? Remember the way we would shove them across to each other, baring souls through words, the way our hearts would pound and our fingers tremble?
/i lost my fear of falling./
There were promises made that never meant to be kept. There were silences that should never have been had. There were tears shed that spoke of the past. (come on angel, don’t you cry) There were high pitched voices and strained questions. There were notes when we couldn’t speak. There were lies when we couldn’t bear the truth. There were words spoken that were never meant to be said. (you’re running out of places to hide from me.) There were burning pieces of paper, destroying our thoughts. There were bouts of laughter when the seriousness abated. There were more pages in your book than in mine.
/your life will never be the same./
And then you changed. And then your age caught up with you. And then we slept alone, more and more frequently. And then he came, and then he stayed. And then there was jealously and anger and mostly, there was jealously. (to wage this war against your faith in me.) And then you put the bottle to your lips. And then you put the smoke in your lungs. (i’m not okay, you wear me out.) And then silent tears were more quiet than ever. And then the bridge of distance began. And then we built it up brick by brick.
/give ‘em hell kid./
Of course happiness came for you. Of course forgiveness was your policy. Of course you didn’t notice who you left behind. Of course you changed. (it’s just the hardest part of living.) Of course your life is yours to live. Of course your decisions are yours to make. Of course you are an adult now. (a condition that is terminal.) Of course there is no room for sadness, pessimism, and darkness. Of course, you know, I understand.
/to the end./
You know I need you. You know I don’t know how to live without you. You know you cannot stay. (i don’t blame you, and it’s not your fault that no one ever does.) You know the future is calling. You know there are millions of things I have to say. You know there is not much you can reply with. You know those summers have passed. You know it’s hard to care anymore. You know you’re tired of this. You know it’s easier to live without complications like me. You know dreams of California are over. (we don’t care, or need another song for california) You know we’re never gonna run away. You know it wasn’t wasted time. You know moving on is a natural occurrence. You know I forgive you. You know I adore you. You know I love you. You know I always will.