Locked Gate

Love is quite possibly the most magical feeling a person can ever experience but unfortunately, it’s not always enough. Despite how much love there was in the beginning, it isn’t enough to keep a relationship together and when it falls apart, that’s when heartbreak comes to play.

Heartbreak is quite possibly the worst feeling a person can ever experience. It feels as if the wind has been knocked out of you, as if it’s impossible to breathe and your heart begins to hurt more than you thought it possibly ever could. Of course, the pain doesn’t remain forever. After all, time does heal all wounds.

But once the aching feeling has subsided and you’ve moved on, how do you find it in yourself to be able to open up to the next one? When your heart has been beaten and battered to a bloody pulp, how do you manage to hand it over without a second thought? How do you prevent yourself from constantly pushing people away because you’re afraid? How do you stop being afraid?

I’ve spent a great amount of time struggling to find the answers to those questions, trying to find a way to stop being so afraid and let someone in. But truth be told, I doubt that I’ll ever be able to figure it out. My heart is completely guarded, the walls are up and the gates are locked. Because of that, I’ve prevented myself from getting close to anyone in fear of reliving the most painful thing I have ever experienced. When it seems like I could start feeling something, I flip the switch on my emotions to stop myself from feeling anything and I push people away. It’s my greatest downfall, one that I so desperately wish that I could change.

So tell me, how do you open up again? How do you stop being so afraid?