How to Get Rid of Your Ex Girlfriend

“Lena!” I called from across the cafeteria, spotting her sleek black head leaving the lunch line. “Oi! Lena!”

She wended her way toward me through the bustling students. “What is it?”

“I have to…talk to you.” I glanced around furtively, checking to make sure there was no one else around. But Sam and Vickie had gone to the library, and Tyler had decided to try and talk Sophie out of avoiding us again. We were alone.

“What about?” she asked curiously.

“Can we talk alone?”

She shot me a disapproving look, green eyes narrowing slightly. “Don’t tell me you need to copy my homework again.”

“No, no.” I held up my hands in mock surrender.

“Then what?”

“Follow me.”

I led the way out of the cafeteria, pushing aside the crowd of students trying to get food or find a seat.

“Where…?”

“This way.”

We stepped outside, and I pulled her back into the space between the art and science buildings. A solitary shaft of light fell through the crack separating the rooftops, glittering off Lena’s silky hair as she turned to look at me.

“So, what is it?”

I leaned against the brick wall of the art building, trying to seem casual. My eyes met hers, and I watched the light flashing into her green eyes for a moment before I spoke. “Lena, I’m not gay.”

“Of course you are,” she answered instantly, as though this fact wasn’t even worthy of debate.

“No, I’m not.” And I launched into the whole story.

Lena’s eyes grew wider with every passing word. “Oh Nick…really, it’s fine. We don’t care that you’re gay. I don’t think you understand that everyone who counts will accept you anyway, and you don’t have to make up a stupid excuse for it.”

“No, you’re the one who doesn’t understand.” I looked at her, hoping against hope she would believe me. “Because, Lena…I’m not planning to tell the others. I’m telling you because I want you to know…because I really, really like you. Please! I’ve liked you forever. I just want a chance.” I swore to myself. “You probably don’t like me back, but I just wanted you to know…”

Lena was looking at me with calculating eyes, the way one might look at a particularly difficult math problem. “I don’t think that’s it.”

“But-”

“Nick, am I your failsafe?”

“My what?” I asked in confusion.

“Your failsafe. The one you tell yourself you ‘really like’,” she said, making quotation marks around her head, “so that you can tell yourself you’re straight, just like everyone else.”

“No, it’s not like that!” I swore again in frustration. “I-”

“Believe me, I can tell,” she interjected.

“Tell what?”

“That you don’t really like me.”

“But I do!” I spluttered.

Lena laughed. “Really, do you think I haven’t noticed the way you look at him?”

“Who?” I asked, even though I knew she was talking about Tyler.

“Don't play innocent, I noticed,” she insisted. “You don’t look at me like that.”

Exasperated, I glared at her. “Like WHAT?”

“You can’t stop looking at him. I know, we all do. We all see your eyes flick to him when you think no one else is watching. We all notice how you light up when he’s with you, how you smile at him like a little kid experiencing their first crush.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Oh, yes it is. Don’t worry, he can’t keep his eyes off of you either.”

I punched the wall, earning myself nothing but throbbing knuckles and an increased sense of anger at the world. “IT’S NOT LIKE THAT!”

Lena sighed. “You, like all boys, are blind and ignorant. Can’t you just accept who you are?”

I glared at her. “I’M STRAIGHT!”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes I am.”

“You’re not.”

“I AM!”

Lena held her hands up in mock surrender, the same way I’d done back in the cafeteria. “Sometimes, it’s hard to notice it yourself. But I can tell. You’re in love.”

And with that, she disappeared out of view, smiling slightly and presumably headed back to the cafeteria. I slid down the wall, head in hands and breathing deeply to calm myself down. That did not go as well as I hoped.

What was that supposed to mean, anyway? I wasn’t in love.

I’m straight.

A small voice reminded me of the dream. Am I?

Of course I am. I just KNOW I am.

Well, at least the idea of not having a chance with Lena wasn’t bothering as much I thought it would.

Wait a second.

Does that mean I like Tyler now?

No!

I’m straight.

Of course I don’t like him.

Lena just saw all that because it was what she expected to see.

Sighing deeply, I pushed myself back up and headed off back towards the main building, hoping English wouldn’t be too horrible today.