How to Get Rid of Your Ex Girlfriend

“I think I’m in love!” I grinned at Tyler across my open textbook, bouncing up and down on the bed a little in my excitement. “I just can’t stop smiling nowadays. The notes…whenever I see one, it’s like fireworks!”

“What do you even like about Sadie?” he responded crossly, glaring at his math homework. I could understand this. I was pretty pissed off at my calculus homework by now too…

“Huh. Now that you bring it up…”

He clawed at his notebook in exasperation. “You don’t know? God Fischer, you’re just convincing yourself you like her!”

“Am I?” I asked slowly.

“Are you?” he shot back.

I pondered this. “You know, I just might be…”

Now that he said that, it all made sense. I’d been so eager to figure out who it was I was supposed to be liking, I must have jumped to conclusions about Sadie…

“You are the biggest clueless delusional IDIOT I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet!” Tyler threw down his math homework, climbed off the bed, and stormed from the room.

I groaned and flopped down across the bed, kicking the notebooks, pencils, and textbooks off the covers in my anger. And I thought calculus was complicated…

What the hell was his problem anyway?

I didn’t do anything to him!

Could he be mad that I wasn’t seeing who it was I was supposed to be liking? But why would he even care about something like that? Well, we are best friends…but still. I’d find out eventually, wouldn’t I?

I just had to figure out who was sending the notes. I was SURE it was them, from the fireworks that exploded behind my eyes whenever I read the bright pink post-its.

Maybe if I just looked at them all again…

I dumped out the notes on my bedsheets, shaking out my pencil case to find all of them. And there were a LOT. Our little Shakespeare exchange had been going on for about a week now.

I sifted through them, examining them carefully for anything that might be a clue to their source.

One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun
Ne’er saw her match since first the world begun.

O! She doth teach the torches to burn bright.

Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.

Nothing. Just the neat, round handwriting and creases where the notes had been folded into quarters. I stared at them until the pink started to hurt my eyes.

“Adams?” I called desperately.

No answer.

“I don’t know what I did…but I’m sorry. Please forgive me, I hate it when you won’t talk to me…” I continued, staring at the door as though this might make him appear behind it. It stayed adamantly closed. “…Come on, please? Can’t you at least tell me what I-”

I cut off suddenly, staring at the tiny space between the door and the carpet. Sitting there was…a pink post-it note, folded neatly into quarters. Curiously, I got off the bed. But as I was about to pick up the note, someone spoke quietly.

“Tis torture and not mercy. Heaven is here…”

I stared wide-eyed at Tyler, framed in the doorway with the lights of the hallway spilling over him and a quiet fire to his voice. His eyes were fixed intently on mine. “Where Juliet lives, and every cat and dog and little mouse, every unworthy thing…”

A shiver ran down my spine, and I found myself unable to tear my eyes away from Tyler’s. “Wha-”

He shut the door with a click behind him and stepped closer, so close I could name each individual color in his hazel eyes. They were sparkling the way they always did when he laughed. I found myself strangely breathless.

“…Lives here in heaven and may look on her, but Romeo…Romeo may not.” His voice quavered slightly. “Well, you know what I say?” He looked into my eyes, and his words grew stronger, boring into me. “FUCK THAT.”

I backed away a little, slightly confused. “Tyler…”

He blinked at me, for a moment just as stunned as I was. “You just called me by my first name.”

I stared at him. Did I?

Tyler stepped closer, looking up into my eyes as though he’d never seen anything more beautiful. “You’ve never called me Tyler before…we were Adams and Fischer since we were young.” He moved so close that we were nearly touching. I backed away again hastily.

Suddenly, the backs of my knees collided painfully with my bedframe and I fell backwards with a slight thump, pink paper flying everywhere. The breath left my lungs with a whoosh, and I found myself staring up into Tyler’s hazel eyes. There was a little smile on his face. “Nick…”

I started to hyperventilate. If hearts actually could skip beats, mine would be doing so right now.

“You have no fucking idea how much I want you right now…” He was directly over me now, grinning in a way that made me lose what little breath I had regained all over again.

Before I could so much as gather the strength to stop him, he pressed his lips to mine.