How to Get Rid of Your Ex Girlfriend

Someone stepped in front of me. And it was the last person I wanted to see when curled into a ball on a random slide and so traumatized I was crying and talking to myself.

“Nick?” Sophie’s voice was quiet and gentle. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head, hiding my face between my knees.

“Come on. Did you and Tyler have a fight?”

Of some sorts. “Yeah,” I said simply.

Sophie sighed and sat down on the end of the slide. Her voice was tight, and it sounded like these words were taking a lot of strength. “He really loves you, you know…”

“I love him too,” I said quietly. And I did, only I wasn’t sure if it was more than just brotherly love…

“Then go make up with him,” Sophie continued. It struck me suddenly how good she was at making people feel better. “Just be happy you can have him.”

“Soph, it’s not your fault Adams is gay.”

“I know. But listen, Nick? Just go back to your house, or wherever he is now, and make up with him. It’s the only thing that’s going to make you feel better.”

“But it’s not like that!” I said in frustration, slipping down the slide to sit next to her. My back had been starting to hurt from being crouched into that bend.

She turned her head. There was no hostility in her eyes, not anymore. “Then what is it?”

I looked at her for a second, wondering if I should tell her. It did seem like we were sort-of back on good terms, and I really needed her advice right now.

“This whole thing is just so messed up…” I managed. “It’s…it’s just that he’s my best friend! Dating him feels so…wrong.” I sucked in a deep breath, telling myself to keep calm. “I can’t come to terms with it. I can’t come to terms with the fact that I’m…gay.”

Sophie looked at me pityingly. “But just like Tyler, you can’t help it. So why fight against things?”

“I don’t know!” I shifted nervously, running a hand through my hair. “Everything just feels so damn messed up!”

“You’re gay and that’s that,” Sophie said firmly.

“But I still…”

“It won’t feel like this if you can just accept yourself for who are you are,” she said soothingly, laying a hand on my shoulder. I found it calmed me a little. “No one cares that you’re gay. We’ll all love you just the same. None of us are EVER going to desert you, understand that? There is NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY!”

“It’s all just so damn sudden!”

Sophie shrugged. “You’ll just have to deal with it, then.” She picked herself up off the slide. “I’ve got to get home now. It’s like three in the morning…take care of yourself, okay?”

And she disappeared back into the darkness, leaving me staring into space and lost for words.

So I was gay, then. I’d just admitted it out loud.

My head fell back into my hands. This was not expected…this was just so not expected! How was I supposed to deal with something like this?

And did I even want to deal with it?

Not right now, no way.

º º º

When I snuck past my room, I was careful to be as quiet as possible. I didn’t want to talk to Tyler. It sounded like he was…crying? Or was that singing?

I stopped curiously. “Adams?”

He didn’t answer. Perhaps he didn’t even hear me. There was a crash and the tingling sound of glass shattering.

“Adams!” I burst through the door. “Are you-”

“Hey Fischer,” he giggled. His black hair was ruffled and untidy, his eyes were slightly out of focus. He took a staggering step toward me to grab at my shirt, almost cutting his foot on the shards of a beer bottle scattered across the floor. He had clearly been drinking.

“Adams, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” I cried out, jerking him bodily away from the broken glass.

He giggled again, smiling up at me. His breath smelled like beer. “Just losing myself.”

“Why?” Neither of us had ever been the type to drink just to “lose ourselves”.

“Because I didn’t want to think anymore.”

I stared at him.

He was laughing loudly now, as though this were the funniest joke in the world. “You should try it. It feels goooood…”

I blinked at him. Should I? Man, it would feel amazing just to be able to forget things for a while…

I dropped Tyler. “Stand right there,” I instructed sternly. “I’m going to move all this broken glass.” Quickly, I kicked the majority of the pieces into a corner. Then I grabbed a piece of looseleaf and scribbled a note on it.

Mom –
Tyler and I got each other sick. We really need our sleep, so don’t come in, okay? Not until we come out first. Please just call the school and tell them we won’t be there.
- Nick

I stuck this to the back of the door with a piece of masking tape, slammed it closed, and locked it.