That's What You Get.

I always thought that I was pretty pessimistic. I mean, I knew I was, and every time something I thought that would have happened, happened for real, I felt like a wizard. Like a little Hermione, or a little Ron.
I almost liked being cynic and pessimistic just because I didn’t want to get illusions out of nowhere: being hopeful was a waste of time, and if I would have gotten disappointed in the end I would have blamed everything on me. No dreams at all, no illusions, and then no drama. That was perfect for me.
And that was why I wanted to be honest with John.

I felt obliged to tell him what was making me think that it was better for us to get a break from our whatever relationship. But then I was almost afraid of his reaction, so I kinda avoided him for a while.
Just for a day.

“You’re well requested these days”

“Why you’re saying this?”

“There’s someone in the hall looking for you”

I sighed and closed the book, going downstairs. I didn’t expect to see Zack again, actually.

“What are you doing here?”

“Why do you never seem happy to see me?”

“I just didn’t expect you here, I’m surprised, not disappointed”

He smiled. I liked his smile, and his eyes. Well I liked him, physically speaking. But then I didn’t knew anything about him that made me think he wasn’t that obnoxious and annoying guy I met at the party of his fraternity a couple of weeks before. Not that the fact I didn’t know him properly could have stopped me to go there with him, as I did the same with John too.

“I was wondering if you’re ok with me walking you to class”

“It would be ok if I had classes…but you have to wait for a couple of hours, if you’re ok with it”

“I am. Maybe we can go to the library and study in the meanwhile”

“Sounds good to me! Let me go grab my stuff and we can go”

I ran up and then down in a blink of an eye. The walk to the library was quiet, he just asked me about my major and actually I felt stupid thinking he was one of those guys full of muscles with no brain at all. He was in law school, so he had a brain, and not just that.
John had a brain as well, but the difference was that he didn’t want to use it.
We sat at a table and we started studying in silence: sometimes I looked at him and caught him staring at me, so we smiled and I almost blushed. For a while I almost thought he didn’t want to get immediately in my pants, but it was impossible. He was a guy; all he wanted from me was sex, like everyone else.
My cell phone vibrated in my pocket.

“Do you like the book you’re reading so seriously?”

I looked around looking for John but I didn’t see his skinny frame anywhere close.

“Where are you?”

“Let’s play Hide and Seek. Come and find me”

Too bad that John knew I was curious and that was my weak spot.
I liked how he teased me and I liked those games we used to play.
I stood up and walked through the corridors of the library, looking everywhere, finding no one.

“Come closer”

I walked to the furthest part of the library and then and there I found him.

“Gotcha”

He smiled and walked to me with those lustful green eyes of his.

“What are you doing here? Stalking me?”

“Maybe?”

He tried to kiss me but I turned, so I just got a kiss on the cheek.

“Why you’re avoiding me?”

Spotted.

“I’ve been busy”

“Yes, right. You’ve been busy hanging out with Mr. Steroids”

“Why do you all call him like that?!”

“Why do you even defend him, you were the one using that nickname first!”

I puffed and remembered when I told him the Mr. Steroids joke about Zack. But now I felt guilty.

“I said it with prejudice”

“And now you’re talking with pride, dear Jane Austen”

“Wow, someone has been reading lately”

“I do not just read porn when I’m alone in my room, you know”

“My bad”

He smiled and bitted his lips. He was tainting me, and he was succeeding very well. He leaned and tried to kiss me again, but this time I didn’t refuse his lips, that were soft as always. I liked how he was waiting to slide his tongue into my mouth, he was teasing me and again, he was great at it. He licked my inner lips so I slightly opened then to welcome his tongue and touch it with mine. He took my hands in his and then stopped kissing me, looking me in the eyes.

“Let’s get out of here”

“Your place or mine?”

“What? No, no, I wanted to have lunch. I have classes in the afternoon”

That sounded weird, but good. He was doing the responsible college guy then. And he didn’t want to have sex with me. That was beyond weird, and not good.

“I promised Zack we would have had lunch together”

“Tell him you forgot about me”

“I can’t, it’s rude. I mean he came to my house this morning…”

“You get impressed easily I see. At least I didn’t use kindness to make you understand what I wanted. He is trying to get in your pants by playing the nice part first”

“What’s your problem John?”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt I guess”

“How do I get hurt?”

“I don’t know. By being fooled by someone who promises you the starts but then leaves you after a one night stand, I guess. At least I didn’t promise you the stars”

“But you left me anyway after a one night stand”

“No actually you’re the one who leaves me in my bed after sex”

“I was just saying John”

“Well, whatever. Do what you want with whoever you want. I can’t stop you, it’s not like you’re my girlfriend. If you want to get dirty with Mr. Steroids just go for it”

“I never said I want to have sex with him in the first place. He’s hot but I’m not a slut. But anyway, why am I even talking with you about this? Are you jealous?”

“What? Why would I be jealous? Of him…?” he started laughing nervously “What does he have, a part of those muscles?”

He was just doing something girls usually do. Searching for all the bad things in another girl who is trying to get with the guy we like. It was so funny to hear him talking shit about Zack: it was so evident he felt in a competition.

“John, just… shut up ok? What happens between Zack and I, it’s none of your business. Go find someone who will be happy to make you release your frustrations”

He didn’t reply. He just stood there looking at me with disdain. I could see it in his eyes: I hurt him.