Sequel: To Love And Back.
Status: complete!

That's What You Get.

Tell Me I'm A Wreck

The next morning I found myself in the same position I felt asleep the night before.
With a pounding headache I looked over the bed next to mine, seeing it empty. Becky clearly didn’t come back and the first thing I did was texting her asking where she was.
Then I got up, still dressed, making my way to the bathroom. I needed a fresh start for another day.
Just the second and I wanted to go back already. I had a cold shower and got dressed up again. The clock said it was past noon, and actually I felt my belly asking for food. I still had nausea though, so I didn’t listen to my hungry stomach. I tried to call Becky because she didn’t answer to the text and I was worried about her. Probably she was with Alex, I thought.

“Andy, you’re up!” she said when she picked up “I was just replying to your text”

“Well, hello to you too! I thought you had to sleep in the same room as mine!”

“I’m sorry; I slept in Alex’s room…” I heard her giggling.

“Sure, slept… listen, can you come here? I need to talk to you”

“We’re on the beach! You should come here too”

“I don’t feel really well right now”

“We know you got pretty much drunk last night…”

“My point exactly”

“Come on Andy, we all knew that was going to happen! Come down to the beach with us!” I heard someone talking to her “Oh, and Zack is telling me to move your ass because he is worried about you”

I sighed. I didn’t want to see Zack but maybe he could have helped me forgetting why I felt so miserable.

“Ok, give me five minutes. See you there”

I went to the beach and saw them playing volleyball. I covered my eyes with sunglasses and stayed there watching them playing. As soon as Zack saw me, he came to me and kissed me on the cheek.

“Hi baby doll”

“Hi Ken”

He laughed not getting my sarcasm. I hated when he called me doll. I wasn’t a doll; I wasn’t anything close to a Barbie. But he, he really looked like Ken.

“You totally disappeared last night, then Becky told me that you were passed out in your room”

“Well you could have at least come and see yourself if you were so worried about me as you say”

“I was pretty drunk too honey, but I asked about you a lot, ask your friends”

“It’s ok Zack, I don’t need proof”

“Hey, someone here is grumpy”

“I just had a bad night”

“Want to share?”

“Definitely not, thanks”

“Ok babe, if you need me you know where I am”

I nodded and got up the sand, starting walking. I wanted to get the furthest possible.
That Spring Break was becoming a nightmare.
I reached for a little pier, and walked onto it. I looked over the ocean and felt the fresh air in my face.
All I wanted right there and then was going back in time and do everything again from the beginning.
I would have changed everything, from that night I met John to that right moment. I got it all wrong.

“Can I join?”

I couldn’t believe it when I heard his voice again. I was starting to hate him, for real.
I sighed and looked at him with anger. He was stalking me or what?

“What do you want again?”

“Are you ok?”

“No, I’m not ok John. Can you please go back to your friends and leave me the fuck alone now?”

He sighed and nodded. He walked away but then stopped and got back.

“No, actually no. Let me just say something”

“What if I don’t want to hear it”

“What if I don’t fucking care”

I puffed and let him talk.

“Why did you kiss me last night?”

“What kind of question is this!?”

“I want to know. I have to know why you’re doing this. Are you just jealous of the fact I have a girl now and you have to be with that boring quarterback, or is there something more?”

I looked over the ocean once again and sighed, hiding the truth behind my words again.

“John I was drunk last night ok? I wanted to have sex with you and you rejected me, that’s it. Now you can go back to your girl. I hope you two are happy”

“Liar” I looked at him with disbelief. He was the second person who told me I was a liar in that way.

“John, leave me alone. Just forget about it ok? Vicky is the right girl for you. She’s beautiful, reliable, nice… she wants you for real and she likes you a lot. Just don’t complicate things”

“Are you really saying this after yesterday night?”

“Again, I was drunk”

John came closer but I stepped back. I was nervous and I knew that with just another step, something could have happened. His hand reached over my cheek but I didn’t move. He sighed and retrieved it.

“Do you know why I followed you here Andy?” I shook my head “I wanted to know if you felt something for me, because yesterday night something clearly happened and I thought you finally realized you liked me back. If that was true, I would have had broke up with Vicky right now. But maybe you’re right; she is the right girl for me. She is always there for me no matter what and she doesn’t want me just for sex”

“See? I was right then. Go back to her John. It’s better for both of us”

John nodded and with sadness in his eyes walked back to the crowd without even saying goodbye.
Watching him slipping away like that, made me cry in silence. I felt my cheeks being wet in the very moment after he left me there alone as I asked him to. I didn’t know why I was lying over and over again.
Now something was changing and I couldn’t stop it. No one before affected me in that way; I didn’t understand what feeling like I felt meant, but that was a bad thing. I always managed not to feel like that, and as soon as I let the guard down, I got caught. John had a hold on me, and now I knew it for sure.
You don’t cry if you don’t care. You don’t feel your heart in two if you don’t care about someone, when they leave you forever. I was trying to fight a feeling that was growing day by day in my head, in my heart.
I tried to manage things and got back the way it was before, but then I got rejected. Then I tried to pour my heart out again, and I got rejected again. The time I had the change to get it all right, I blew it.
I was a mess, and all I could do was messing things and people up. I had myself messed up in the first place.
I felt empty, and I never had anyone that made me feel that way before. When things were good between John and I, I felt okay, I felt like the only sure thing of the day was going back to him, even if just for sex.
John was the only constant in my life, and now I let him get out of it. I hated to be hurt, to feel down, and actually I felt that way since I decided to push him away. John made me happy in his own way.
I always avoided the situations like the one I was into just because I knew I would have felt hurt: I knew it right before that happened, and dammit, it happened for real. Now it was too hard to get out of it.
Because the once you are in love with someone, it’s impossible to get back to the way it was before.
♠ ♠ ♠
Outfit

Here someone finally got she's in love :)
There's nothing else to say. She's into him and now she knows it.
BUT. She's afraid. That's why she is still pushing John away. I know I know you hate me now but believe me the wait is worth it.

I have 5 chapters left to write and I already know what's going to happen.
I remind you that we will have a sequel as soon as I reach the 30th chapter in this story.
I have another story in my mind and it's pretty much written down already (a couple of chapters) but I still have to end both "The greatest love of all" AND "Baby just breathe" so I don't know when and if I'll start posting it.

EDIT: I don't know if you noticed, but I changed the girl who would be Andy in the story. It was Leighton Meesters but now I changed her with Nina Dobrev. I love both of the actresses but my idea of Andy -physically speaking- was more like the second one. Just so you know.

After monday I will be able to write more and maybe post twice in a week (thing that I'm doing now as well apparently ahah). I have my last exam of this month and then I'll be free.
I'm not doing very well in these days, I've been fired from the job I had for 5 years so I'm pretty pissed and sad. But Im sure everything will get better sooner or later.

Make me happy and comment!

I love you all, I finally got 100 comments :)
Thanks to everyone who took time to read!

Danielle