That's What You Get.

Just two weeks, and my first year at ASU would have been over.
It was weird to think, but I kinda wanted to go back home for a while. The only doubt I had was about John.
I didn’t know what we were. And the idea of being separated pissed me off so much. We spent an entire year messing our relationship up and now we had to leave campus. Fortunately we lived pretty close, but a lot of things can happen in two months apart.
There was something else that made me nervous in those weeks, and those were final terms.
I felt like I didn’t study enough, because I was always hanging around somewhere, especially since when things with John got so complicated. It’s not like it was his fault, but I should have studied more instead of spending days locked in his bedroom. John was so addictive though, it was hard to stay away from him.
I always knew that, from the beginning. But before, I thought it was just because he was great at sex.
Because he was the only one who would make my body shiver at one touch.
Now I knew I always misunderstood my feelings: it was some other kind of emotion I felt, I just never wanted to listen to my heart.

“You look so into what you’re reading” John whispered to me while we were at the library, studying together. I was so happy he was doing his exams as well, I was proud of him.

“I was before you interrupted me”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t stay concentrated”

From another table someone asked us to be silent.

“Coffee break?”

“It’s the third of the morning”

“I promise it will be the last until the afternoon!”

I sighed but accepted. We got out of the library and walked to the cafeteria. We took two coffees and walked around the campus for a while, before sitting on a bench.

“I am so going to regret this”

“Oh come on Andy! It’s just a break! You can’t study 24 hours long, and anyway you know you will pass the exams, so don’t freak out”

“No I don’t! Sometimes I think it’s your fault that I lost some lessons”

“Don’t put this on me girl, just because I’m handsome and sexy”

“And modest” he laughed.

“Andy you’re a smart girl, you will do fine, believe me. And if this comforts you, you look beautiful when you study” I looked away and probably blushed. It was still weird receiving those compliments.

“Thanks John”

“It’s just what I think” I smiled “for what it’s worth, I’m so glad we’re working things out”

“I thought they were already”

“And they are… I still can’t believe it though”

“You’re very sweet John” I kissed his cheek fast and looked at him smiling. His smile was one of the most beautiful things about him. Just one of them and a frown could become a smile.
We kept on talking until we saw Tyson approaching to us with decision.

“Hey guys, do you have a sec?”

“Sure man”

“I’m graduating next week, so I’m just inviting people to the party at our house. I’m sure you both will be there, right?”

“Well I will for sure as I live in that house”

“I was talking about your beautiful lady here” I smiled and nodded.

“I wouldn’t missed it”

“Ahhh, you’re the best Andy, why are you still hanging out with John!?” I laughed “I’m sorry brother, she’s just so damn fine”

“I know brother, that’s why she is mine”

We all laughed but that statement left me quite speechless. Tyson walked away and left us in an awkward silence. I looked at him concerned.

“What now?”

“I’m…yours?” he became embarrassed all of a sudden.

“Well, you know… I thought we were like… exclusive”

“And we are” he smiled “so, are we going to get back to the library or what?”

“Sure, but before I move my ass from this bench I need something”

“Is this your sick way to tell me you want a kiss?”

“See? I told you that you know me”

I laughed and gently pressed my lips onto his. It was a nice and fast mouth to mouth kiss, but I liked it.
We got up and he also took my hand into his. I was so happy that I could have studied for hours.
We sat down and studied for a lot more than I thought. It was so satisfying to see him studying: I tried to get him into his studies a lot even before fucking everything up and knowing he listened to me was pretty cool. I knew he had the chance to pass the exams; he was way smarter than some other people I knew.
I was finishing the last chapter of a massive book about Mass Media when John threw a folded paper to me. I opened it and noticed there was a long lyric written on it.

"We're to young, this is never gonna work"
That's what they say, "you're gonna get hurt"
But I know something they don't.
I hear your heart, it's beating right in time.
Right from the start I knew I had to make you mine,
And now I'll never let you go.
Don't they know that love won't lie.

Don't listen to the world, they say we're never gonna make it.
Don't listen to your friends, they would've never let us start.
Don't listen to the voices in your head,
Listen to your heart.

This promise doesn't have to be so loud,
Just whisper I could find you in a crowd.
I think it's time we ran away.
Your father says I'm not good enough for you.
Your mother she thinks that this is just a phase,
I think that we should run away.

Don't listen to the world, they say we're never gonna make it.
Don't listen to your friends, they would've never let us start.
Don't listen to the voices in your head,
Listen to your heart.

You gotta listen to your heart.
Go on and listen to your heart.
Come on and listen to your heart.
It will tell the truth,
It will set you free,
It will say that you were meant for me,
And this is where we're suppose to be.

Don't listen to the world, they say we're never gonna make it,
But I know we'll make it.
Don't listen to your friends, they would've never let us start.
Don't listen to the voices in your head,
Love will never ever let us fall apart,
You gotta listen to your heart.
Go on and listen to your heart.
You've gotta listen to your heart.
Come on and listen to your heart.
Listen to your heart.

Word after word, I felt my heart beating faster and faster. That was for me, I knew that.
I just wanted to jump on him and kiss him, to hug him and tell him I liked him.
Love wasn’t a bad thing, Kennedy was right. Since when John and I started realizing there was more (or maybe I should say, when I finally came to the conclusion I just couldn’t stay away from him) I was just happy. Never cried or never had a bad feeling. John brought happiness in my life, I couldn’t deny it.

“The lyric was beautiful”

“I’m glad you liked it”

“When did you write it?”

“Well I had the idea when we were in the library so I just put the words down”

“I thought you were studying”

“I was…before and after writing this”

“Anyway it’s amazing, thanks”

“Thanks…? Why?”

“Well… isn’t it about… me?”

“I never said it was” he clearly noticed I was disappointed “Andy I’m joking, of course it is” I smiled

“I was about to believe you”

“You know every song I write is about you, you just want to hear it”

“You got me”

He laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. We walked to my house and there it was, again, the terrible moment. Being with John out of the bedroom was even greater than being in it.

“Good luck for the test tomorrow”

“Thanks. I’ll call you right after”

“Will you?”

“Do I ever forget to call you?”

“No mom you don’t”

“You’re so silly O’Callaghan”

“And you’re so beautiful Harris” I blushed again.

“I could get use to these compliments”

“I always compliment you. I always did even before”

“Yes but you never told me I was beautiful, you told me I was hot and sexy”

“And there’s a difference?”

“Hell yes” he laughed at me being so determined in my decisions “Ok, I guess it’s time to go studying again”

“You will do fine, don’t get nervous ok?”

“Thanks dad”

“Goodnight Andy”

“Goodnight John”

It was weird to say goodnight at 7pm, especially knowing we would have started texting each other in less than an hour. I guess it was cool to think we were able to stay away from each other for more than one hour though. John was like a drug, the more I stayed with him, and the more I wanted to.
He gently kissed my lips before leaving, and he never asked for more.

I got up to my bedroom to see Rebecca looking out of the window.

“What are you doing Creeper?”

“I was looking at you two! You were so nice!”

“You never mind your own business don’t you?”

“I’m just curious because you never tell me anything about it”

“I just need to take confidence with this new situation. As soon as I will understand what’s happening I will report it to you, happy?”

“Well there’s not a lot to say. Just something like –Hey Becks I’m in love with John you were right and I was wrong and I admit you were right from the start because I like him more than ever and he’s so great- would be good”

“Ok you were right, I like the guy, and I can’t help it”

“I’m so glad to hear this”

“It’s true” I said, and she sat down on my bed next to me “you were all right. I’m in love with John”.