That's What You Get.

“Congratulations Tyson!”

There it was: the end of the year, the end of the terms, and the end of my freshmen year.
And there we were, all partying for Tyson’s graduation in Law School. That would have been the last party before going all back to our real homes and parents for a while.
I was looking forward to see my family as the last time I went home was for Christmas, but still, something was telling me leaving campus wouldn’t have been so easy.
I looked over to John who was laughing with a couple of his brothers, drinking my third beer of the night.
He glanced over me as well and smiled, and it was like we were the only one in the entire room.
I was so proud of him: he passed every test, every single exam. And so did I.

“Hey, here you are. I’ve been looking for you”

“You found me” Kenny smiled and hugged me “it will be weird without Tyson in the house” he nodded “you should try and become the next Theta Chi president”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes I am! You are good at setting parties and your brothers love you, you are a good guy and determined, I’m sure this house would be honored to have you as its president”

“Wow Andy…Thanks! You…changed!”

“Did I?”

“Totally” he looked over John “I think it’s because of him”

“I can’t tell, I just feel good”

“That’s what love does” I smiled at him “you’re beautiful when you smile”

“I should thank you Kenny, you opened my eyes”

“I just want you to be happy”

“I am now” he opened his arms and asked me for a hug, which I didn’t deny.

“Hey what is happening here?” Tyson approached us “I want a hug as well”

“You deserve it, Doctor Ritter” I hugged him as well “I’m so proud of you!”

“And I’m very happy to see you this happy Ms Harris, I don’t know why but I guess it’s because of the lad over there, and as he is my beloved brother, I’m very happy for the both of you”

We kept on talking about our summer until I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket.

“You look beautiful tonight”

I smiled and looked around, but John wasn’t anywhere close. I felt then two big hands on my eyes.

“Who am I?”

“A kid”

“You got me” I turned to see him with that same smile that made me always melt.

I didn’t want to leave campus if that meant leaving him for the rest of the summer. Now that everything was fixed, it was time to get home. It was like meeting new friends on the last day of a lonely vacation.
I would have left for Scottsdale the very next afternoon, when my dad would have come to get me.
So I just had a night to spend with him before leaving him for two months.
After midnight I felt like Cinderella: it was time to get back, I still had to pack everything up.
I said goodbye to everyone, especially to Tyson and Kennedy. Before saying goodbye to John as well he asked me to walk me home, and of course I accepted.

“So, you’re leaving tomorrow, uh?”

“My dad is coming to pick me up at 3 pm” he nodded “What about you?”

“I’m going back with Kennedy in a couple of days…” silence got the best of us, until he blurred something “Listen, I was thinking… as Scottsdale and Tempe are like half an hour far… we could go out sometimes, if you’re ok with it, I mean… it’s not like you need to, but it’d be cool”

“I’m ok with it John” he smiled, like he was relieved. I was happy he asked. I never thought he would.
“I’ll be missing all of this”

“It will be weird waking up in my very own room, but I miss my mom and my old man. And my brothers”

“I miss my family too” but I’ll miss you more.

“What are your plans for the summer?” he asked.

“Just chilling I guess… I don’t do much when I’m at home actually. I’m a lazy fat ass” I made him laugh “what?”

“I can tell, your ass is so big”

“Stop looking at my ass!” he kept on laughing and giggling until we got in front of my house.
I opened the door with my shaking hands, and when we got in, I looked around to see it was all tidy and silent. A couple of sisters left that day, including Rebecca. It was like living in a haunted house.

“Well… thanks for the walk home. I think I can take it from here”

I didn’t know why, but being the only two people in there made me nervous. Being alone with him in the same room never was a problem before; now the only thought of it made me shiver.
I wanted to spend the whole night with him, I did. But something was telling me it was better to step back, because the beers could have brought me to act in the way the old Andy would have. I didn’t trust myself.
Since I’ve been in love, since I found it out, I felt vulnerable. I felt weaker.

“Yes, sure… ehm…” it was like he had something to say, but the words didn’t want to come out “wow, this house is so big, it must be scary being the only one here tonight”

I looked at him with a frown “No boys allowed upstairs” I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to have sex with him, because our new kind of relationship wasn’t based on that, not anymore.
I didn’t understand where his words were leaded to, but I was afraid. Still.

“Goodnight John” I started going upstairs but he called me back.
A part of me didn’t want to leave, the other one was scared. After everything I’ve been through, I still was.
Damn Andy.

“Andy…wait, just…a second. Please. I need to say something before you leave” I just stood there to listen, while my heart was about to explode, or maybe to stop. “I’ve been thinking…about…stuff”

I didn’t know what to say, but he was expecting me to answer I guess “really? Me too! Like… I would like to change my hair color... Like, becoming a redhead! What do you think?”

“I think you’d look gorgeous to any color” that was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
That was another John I would have loved to meet before. He was perfect.

I felt embarrassed to that compliment “Thanks John” we kept on looking in each others eyes for a couple of seconds, before I could break the atmosphere “Well, anyway… you’ve been thinking”

“Yeah, yes, I’ve been thinking… and… I was just… I mean… I’m sorry I’m nervous” that was beyond cute.
He sighed and tried to begin again “I was thinking that I’m glad we worked things out”

“Me too John”

“Yeah… but, let me finish… there’s something I need to get out of my chest because it has been months I’m keeping my mouth shut and I don’t want you to leave until you know it”

That was when I felt scared as hell.

“Ehm John… I’ve been drinking and… it’s really late, I should go packing… Let’s just talk tomorrow”

I walked upstairs but he stopped me again, this time by taking my arm. I couldn’t go away. I couldn’t throw everything in the bin. I had a chance, the chance to be with him, and I was about to waste it.

“No, no. Let’s talk now. Please don’t go”

I sighed and turned around. His green eyes were begging me.

“John… in the past seven months we’ve been through a lot of stuff and I don’t know if I can take it… I’m afraid… you know I don’t want to get hurt, that’s why I always wanted to just be sex buddies”

“I know, and I know it’s my fault but I can’t go back to the way we were… and I can’t lose you now. I thought we were good, I thought you finally realized you liked me back”

“I do John” that was the first time I actually told him “but I don’t know if I’m good enough. I don’t know what you expect from me. I never had a boyfriend before, I used to hang out with guys and tell them I didn’t want anything serious, then I met you and everything got worse. It is hard to stay away from you but I’m scared of what could happen if I let myself go”

“I won’t hurt you, I promise”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Andy, I’m telling you, right here and right now, I’m not going to hurt you. Don’t do this again, I can’t take it again. I’m not going to let you go again. I did it once when I started going out with Vicky and I’m not going to do it again, but please don’t step back again”

I sighed and decided to pour my heart out for the first and last time.
“John, remember when I came to your room after I saw you with Vicky for the first time, and you rejected me? And when I was drunk and I told you to break up with her?” he nodded “I was trying to tell you something but you didn’t listen, you should have broken up with her right there and then”

“I know, I know, and I have no excuse, but I’m telling you…”

I was tired of talking, and I was about to cry “What are you trying to tell me John, what?”

John walked to me and kissed me impatiently, like it was our first real kiss.
His lips were soft and tasted like beer, as always.
After that, he looked at me, very close to my lips again. I felt his breath on my face and his hands around my waist. I felt his eyes on me, like I was the only thing that mattered to him.
And I was sure I had the same glance, because he was the only thing that mattered to me in that moment.

“Andy I can’t tell you what is going to happen but I swear I’m never going to hurt you”

I smiled weakly and felt my cheeks wet. He caressed my face just to clean my tears and got close to kiss my forehead.

“Andy I wanna be with you, this time for real”

I looked into those green eyes and knew he was serious. That he was determined.
But was I?

“I wanna be with you too”

Yes I was.

John smiled and kissed me again, this time with more passion.
We kept on kissing for the whole night, ignoring the rules of my sorority.
He never tried to go further, and that’s when I noticed we both were changed.
We felt asleep together, still dressed, and the next morning we were still there, holding each other.

“Good morning”

The first thing he did when he woke up was kissing me.

“Hey! You know I don’t like morning breath”

“Oh come on Andy…”

“This is what you get when you decide to be with me, are you still sure you want to?”

He smiled “absolutely” I smiled back “come here girlfriend, let your boyfriend at least hug you”

He opened his arms and I hugged him. We cuddled for a while, until he had to go back and I had to pack.
We walked downstairs hand in hand: that was the first time something like that happened.
We used to be so distant and now we were so close.

“I guess it’s time to say goodbye”

“Apparently”

He sighed “Call me when you’re home” I nodded “We’ll manage some way to go out as soon as possible”

“Better be soon” he smiled and kissed my forehead.

“Are you sure I can’t kiss you properly until I don’t brush my teeth?”

“Totally”

“Was worth a try” I laughed “Goodbye Andy, have a safe trip home”

“Goodbye John, talk to you later”

We hugged and looked into each others eyes for the last time.
He waved goodbye and I watched as he walked down the road before disappearing.
Usually, I wouldn’t have wondered about the next time I would have seen him. But now I couldn’t wait to go out with him and hold his hand, or kiss his lips.

Kennedy was damn right.
Love wasn’t necessarily something bad. Actually, it was something really good.
But Love isn’t just something. Better say it was someone.
Someone named John Cornelius O’Callaghan.