Status: comments=updates always<3
Red Snow
Don't speak
Oh. Oh god. Oh my gods. Oh hell....
I spoke. I said words, out loud. I didn't write them down, I didn't sign them. I said something.
I told Luca I loved him, I do. I really truly do. I'm happy that those were the three words I chose to say. I hope Luca realizes how much it means for me to talk. I think he does.
I haven't used my vocal chords in such a long time that now, five hours later, my throat still feels raw and dry. I swallow and think about the hoarse feeling in my throat. I cannot believe I actually spoke.
I knew that that was what Luca was going to ask me, I could just tell. And I wanted to do that for him.
But now I'm terrified. Terrified that my father will keep his promise.
the fuzziness is retreating and I feel the aching enveloping every part of my body again. My mouth feels strange now though, and I try to open it.
Immediately, I taste blood and feel a tugging from around my mouth. My eyes widen and I try again to part my lips. It is then that I realize I can't.
"So you're awake then freak?" I hear my father's angry voice from beside me, the stringent smell of alcohol wafting in my direction.
"We fixed you up right good." he mumbled "We fixed you so's you ain't never gonna speak again." I heard someone take a drink, their swallowing loud.
"That fuckin' crying of yours, no ones gonna hav'ta put up with that god awful noise again. Doin' the whole God damn world a favor."
Then daddy's face was close to mine, his eyes looking into mine. Shining blue staring into dulled brown, the pain being too much for my mind to stay hopeful.
"If you ever talk again boy-if another noise get outta that mouth, I will find you. I will find you and cut that tongue from your mouth. I'll pull out each of your teeth. I'll make it so's you're in so much pain all 'o the time, you'll wish I had fucking killed you."
I feel hot tears falling in stinging lines down my face, daddy laughing at my pain.
"Snow, Snow, it is OK meine liebling! Do not cry , I will protect you..." I gasp and realize that it was just a nightmare. I throw my arms around Luca as shaking sobs spill from my body. I can feel tears slipping from my face onto Luca's chest.
Luca simply holds me as I cry, rocking back and forth slightly. Whispering sweet and comforting things to me from time to time. I can't stop the tears from falling, I didn't know I had this much liquid in my small frame.
Finally, my loud cries subside but I stay curled into Luca. I don't want him to ever let me go. I pull my bottom lip into my mouth a chew on it, feeling the dots of scars on my mouth.
Luca scoots down and looks into my eyes.
"I will keep you safe leibling. Immer."
I know that immer means forever. I can't smile, but I think Luca understand how grateful I am.
He kisses me gently. I know he can feel and see the scars that cover my body. But he still thinks I am beautiful. I would assume that he was lying, but I can tell he isn't.
This connection I have with him, I am so grateful for it. I'm so happy he came here. I hope if he leaves, I leave with him.
I spoke. I said words, out loud. I didn't write them down, I didn't sign them. I said something.
I told Luca I loved him, I do. I really truly do. I'm happy that those were the three words I chose to say. I hope Luca realizes how much it means for me to talk. I think he does.
I haven't used my vocal chords in such a long time that now, five hours later, my throat still feels raw and dry. I swallow and think about the hoarse feeling in my throat. I cannot believe I actually spoke.
I knew that that was what Luca was going to ask me, I could just tell. And I wanted to do that for him.
But now I'm terrified. Terrified that my father will keep his promise.
the fuzziness is retreating and I feel the aching enveloping every part of my body again. My mouth feels strange now though, and I try to open it.
Immediately, I taste blood and feel a tugging from around my mouth. My eyes widen and I try again to part my lips. It is then that I realize I can't.
"So you're awake then freak?" I hear my father's angry voice from beside me, the stringent smell of alcohol wafting in my direction.
"We fixed you up right good." he mumbled "We fixed you so's you ain't never gonna speak again." I heard someone take a drink, their swallowing loud.
"That fuckin' crying of yours, no ones gonna hav'ta put up with that god awful noise again. Doin' the whole God damn world a favor."
Then daddy's face was close to mine, his eyes looking into mine. Shining blue staring into dulled brown, the pain being too much for my mind to stay hopeful.
"If you ever talk again boy-if another noise get outta that mouth, I will find you. I will find you and cut that tongue from your mouth. I'll pull out each of your teeth. I'll make it so's you're in so much pain all 'o the time, you'll wish I had fucking killed you."
I feel hot tears falling in stinging lines down my face, daddy laughing at my pain.
"Snow, Snow, it is OK meine liebling! Do not cry , I will protect you..." I gasp and realize that it was just a nightmare. I throw my arms around Luca as shaking sobs spill from my body. I can feel tears slipping from my face onto Luca's chest.
Luca simply holds me as I cry, rocking back and forth slightly. Whispering sweet and comforting things to me from time to time. I can't stop the tears from falling, I didn't know I had this much liquid in my small frame.
Finally, my loud cries subside but I stay curled into Luca. I don't want him to ever let me go. I pull my bottom lip into my mouth a chew on it, feeling the dots of scars on my mouth.
Luca scoots down and looks into my eyes.
"I will keep you safe leibling. Immer."
I know that immer means forever. I can't smile, but I think Luca understand how grateful I am.
He kisses me gently. I know he can feel and see the scars that cover my body. But he still thinks I am beautiful. I would assume that he was lying, but I can tell he isn't.
This connection I have with him, I am so grateful for it. I'm so happy he came here. I hope if he leaves, I leave with him.
♠ ♠ ♠
Not a huge fan of this chapter:/ for Flowerscomments=updates;)
XO