A Mess to Be Made

I walked slowly through the cold parking garage, my hand firmly in Brian’s, and could only hear the echo of the wheels of his suitcase rolling against the cracked asphalt. Everyone else had flown back a few days earlier, leaving Brian and I to spend quality time together. The mood had been somber since we had woken up, and the two of us had barely talked. As we stepped into the elevator that would take us to the check-in floor, Brian squeezed my hand causing me to look up at him.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” he said shooting me a smile.

“I’m just going to miss you,” I said leaning into him, “This past week was amazing, just like old times, and now it’s ending.”

“I’m going to miss you too, babe,” he said putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me into him, “But you’ll be down in Arizona in about 3 months to spend most of the summer. The time until then will fly by, and we’ll be back together before you know it.”

“I hope you’re right,” I said as we walked up to the check-in counter.

I stood next to him as he handed everything he needed to the man behind the counter, and bit the inside of my lip as I stared at the brushed silver next to us. I was pulled out of my gaze when Brian said my name and told me to give my ID to the clerk. Confused, I dug my wallet out, and gave my card to the man.

“This security pass will let you go all the way to the gate with him,” the man said as he typed my name into the computer.

“I-uh-thank you,” I said at a loss for words, “This means so much!”

“You only live once, so why not make the most of it,” he said with a smile before handing me the pass.

He sent me a knowing nod, and I responded with a smile before taking Brian’s hand and leaving the counter. Luckily the security line was short, and it only took us about 10 minutes to get through and put our shoes back on. I pulled Brian to my favorite food place right before the walkway to the terminal, and bought the pair of us breakfast.

We sat at one of the small, round tables next to the stand, and ate our breakfast sandwiches in mainly silence, not wanting to say the wrong thing and make saying goodbye even harder. Once we were done, we kept our coffee’s clutched in our hands, and started towards Terminal A. We got on the moving walkway, and I barely paid any attention to the displays with stuff about Colorado history in them.

“I’m pretty sure if you hadn’t said yes on Valentine’s Day, I would’ve made an insane sign like that,” Brian said pointing to the overly frilly sign in the case.

“It would’ve matched my work outfit that day,” I said with a laugh, “And how could I ever say no to someone like you? You’re perfect.”

“I think you mean you are,” he said kissing the top of my head.

I smiled at him, a slight blush rising up my cheeks, and nearly died laughing as Brian stumbled off of the moving walkway. I tried disguising it, taking a drink of my coffee, but still got a small glare shot at me from Brian. I smiled innocently, and pulled him closer to me, leading him to his gate.

There were hardly any people by the gate, a few business men and women scattered on their laptops, so we sat by the window. He placed his backpack on the seat next him, and i sat next to him. I played with the fingers on his left hand, and leaned my head onto my shoulder.

“Let’s just run away, that way we can be together always,” I said jokingly causing him to chuckle.

“I think we’d be found too soon,” he said still chuckling, “We can go on an adventure this summer though, just the two of us. We’ll get away for a few days.”

“I like the sound of that,” I said smiling.

He opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the airline worker announcing the flight. I felt my heart sink, and bit my lip to hold back tears as we stood up together. As soon as his backpack was on, I latched my arms around his middle, and felt his slid around my shoulders.

“I’m going to miss you, Bee,” I said into his chest letting a few tears slide out of my eyes.

“I’m going to miss you too, Sades,” he said tightening his arms around me even tighter, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said standing on my tip toes to press my lips to his.

He deepened the short lived kiss, and all I could was stare at him as we separated. His thumbs brushed the tears from my cheeks, and he pecked me one last time, before walking up to the lady and passing his ticket to her. He sent me one last smile over his shoulder, before disappearing down the tunnel and out of sight. I quickly picked my bag up, and slung it over my shoulder, before walking away from the gate, and towards the main terminal. I used the sleeve of Brian’s red plaid hoodie to wipe the lone tear from my cheek, and walked as fast as I could towards the parking garage.

========

When I finally reached my apartment, I went into my bed and pulled the covers over myself completely. I hugged the pillow that Brian had been using, inhaling his scent from it, and tried as hard as I could to fall asleep without him by my side. When I did fall asleep, I didn’t stay asleep for long, continuously waking up and trying to get comfortable.

During one of my bouts of restlessness, I heard my door open and felt someone sit on the other side of my bed. I knew it was Katie, the jingling of her bracelets giving her away, and turned towards her, pulling the blanket from my face. She looked down at me, sympathy in her eyes, and pulled me into a hug causing me to cry.

“I already miss him so much, Katie,” I said sniffling slightly, “What am I going to do for the next few months without him.”

“I know, Sadie, I know,” she said rubbing my back in a comforting manner, “You’ll just study extra hard like I know you always do when you’re stressed. Then, you’ll go there for the summer, and I probably won’t see you again.”

“What do you mean?” I asked pulling away from her, “I’m just visiting for 2ish months.”

“I just think that you’ll realize how much you need Arizona, and decide to move there,” she said shrugging, “Don’t get me wrong, I know you love your life here in Colorado, as well as me and everyone else, but I can tell that you want to go back there.

“And I know that the guys, Jess and Miranda want you back too. I’ve never seen you happier than when they come to visit. Then, you get extremely depressed when they leave again.”

“They’d still leave on tours if I lived there,” I said shaking my head.

“Miranda wouldn’t, you heard her say that after this tour she was going to get serious about school and stuff.”

“But what about you, Kian and AJ?” I asked not wanting to lose my friends.

“I’ve actually been looking into ASU, and as for Kian and AJ, you know they’d visit us all of the time,” she said with a wave of her hand, “Just think about it, okay? I just want you to be happy.”

I nodded, showing her I’d think about it, and hugged her before she left the room. I flopped back down, mulling over everything inside of my head, and tried to start making the decision that would impact my life in less than 3 months.