Those Were The Days

Cassadee and I finished eating and walked out of Subway. We walked back to the
venue and she went to find Mike and I just walked around exploring the venue. There was always something to be found in venues.

"Hurley." Josh's voice said from behind me. I smiled and turned around. He
was there smiling. I laughed and hugged him.

"How's my best bud?" I asked as we let go.

"Good. How're you and why do you look like Jack?" He asked. I smiled.

"I'm good. I stayed with All Time Low last night. I got naked and these are Jack's clothes. See, no bra." I said. He laughed and shook his head.

"You're naked as much as he is." He said.

"I like being naked." I said.

"A lot of people like seeing you naked. Now, what are we gonna go about Stephen?" He asked.

"It's me, not you." I said.

"It's never you, Hurles. It's you and I. You know that." He said. I smiled.

"Have I ever told you if we were on Survivor I'd take you to the top three with someone no one likes and fuck it up and then let you win?" I asked. He smiled.

"Actually, you have." He said. I smiled.

"See? That's how much I love you." I said. He smiled.

"I love you, too. But, we need to figure out what to do about Stephen and even John." He said.

"I'll deal with John." I said.

"He didn't really mean it." He said.

"I know he didn't. I get where he's coming from, but we're three hotheads and we blow up sometimes." I said. He smiled.

"But, you didn't need to go into it about your mom." He said.

"I know. I over did it, but I can't take it back." I said.

"Please come back tonight." He said.

"I will. But, if the fight is still happening, Pat wants me to stay with him." I said. He sighed.

"Fine. Talk to John, and we'll figure Stephen out later." He said.

"Deal. I'll talk to him later." I said.

"Alright, I gotta go. Promise me you will." He said.

"Dude, I will. I promise." I said.

He smiled, hugged me and walked away. I kept walking down the hallways and found a staircase going up. I smiled and started walking up it. It was two flights. I got to the top and there was a door. I opened the door and there was a dark hallway. I walked down the hallway and there was another door.

I opened that door and it was a room. It had white walls with nothing on them. There were two cans of paint in the middle of the room with two brushes. I smiled. There was a room adjoining to it. It was a shrine to Rock 'N Roll.

Album covers on the walls, everywhere. Ceiling to floor. AC/DC, Tom Petty, Aerosmith, The Who, The Beatles, The Foo Fighters, Good Charlotte, Jimi Hendrix, Green Day, Blind Faith, Foreigner, Bad Company, Boston, Toto, Eric Clapton, Blink 182, Reo Speedwagon, Atlanta Rhythm Section, Nickleback, Simple Plan, Queen, Steely Dan, The Rolling Stones. It was just amazing.

I looked around at all of them smiling.

There was one person who could appreciate this as much as I did. As much as I didn't want to admit it; O'Callaghan. I walked back into the white room and smiled. It reminded me of The Beatles. I walked back down all the hallways and stairs. I got outside the venue and went to The Maine's bus.

I got there and Pat, Kennedy, Jared, Garrett, O'Callaghan, Vito, and Aaron were there. I smiled.

"Mc!" Jared yelled and hugged me. I smiled and we let go.

"Hello, Jared." I said.

"What's up?" Kennedy asked me.

"I'd like to steal O'Callaghan please." I said. O'Callaghan smiled.

"Are you gonna hurt him?" Pat asked.

"No, not right now." I said.

"I'll be fine." O'Callaghan said.

"I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about Mc having bloody hands." Pat said. I laughed.

"That was such an amazing metaphor. I really liked that." I said. He smiled.

"Before he goes, will you hurt him?" Vito asked me.

"No." I said.

"Then he can go." He said. O'Callaghan rolled his eyes.

"Like I need permission?" He asked.

"Yes." Everyone said in unison.

"Just, come on." I told O'Callaghan.

He smiled and got up. He slowly walked over to me and smiled. I guess he had a little reason to smile, but I didn't see it. This wasn't an outing to smile. Not until he saw what he needed to see. Then, I smiled and we walked out of the bus.

"Why do you need me?" He asked.

"I don't." I said.

"Do you live to confuse me?" He asked.

"You asked if I needed you. I don't. I came to get you all on my own. I wanna show you something." I said. He smiled.

"Alright." He said.

We walked back into the venue and walked to the staircase. We walked up it and went down the hallway and to the door. We got to the end of the hallway and I stood in front of the door. I looked at O'Callaghan and he was smiling.

"Ready?" I asked.

"I guess." He said.

"Wait, wait. No. Close your eyes." I said. He sighed and closed his eyes. I smiled.

I opened the door and smiled.

"I'm gonna just, lead you, okay?" I asked.

"Alright." He said slowly.

I stood behind him, put my hands on his shoulders and walked him through the white room and into the Rock 'N Roll room. I stood next to him and smiled.

"Open." I said. He opened his eyes and looked around.

"This is identical to your bedroom." He said. I nodded.

"It's awesome, isn't it?" I said. He smiled.

"Why'd you bring me here?" He asked.

"You're the only one that would appreciate this as much as I do." I said.

"I'll never understand you, Mc." He said.

"You don't have to. Hell, I don't understand myself. But, follow me." I said and walked into the white room. He walked in and smiled.

"How'd you find this place?" He asked.

"Roaming around." I said.

"I didn't plan to hit him." He said. I sighed.

"You did, though." I said.

"It wasn't what you think. You think I did it because I was pissed, went looking for him and hit him. That didn't happen. I did punch a wall, though. I went to the bus and he was there. That's when I hit him." He said.

"That's nice. He's still hurt." I said.

"Wait, why are you wearing Jack's clothes?" He asked. I smiled.

"I stayed with the All Time Low guys last night." I said.

"And you're in his clothes, why?" He asked.

"I got naked." I said.

"Two nights in a row." He said.

"You can be angry." I said.

"I don't have any room to be angry. But, why'd you stay with them?" He asked.

"Stephen and I got in a fight." I said.

"About?" He asked.

"The fight I've dreaded for nine years." I said.

"Ahh, I know what you're talking about." He said. I nodded.

"John said I was dropped on their doorstep. Can you believe that? He immediately back tracked." I said.

"So, John was part of it too?" He asked.

"Yeah, it started with my sketch. By the way, it's of my dad. Every time someone brings him up, I go into this mode and draw him. I tear it up afterwards. Well, I walked on the bus after talking to you and John, Stephen, Brian, Jess and Josh were putting it together. I was already angry so that didn't help. John only said that one thing, Stephen was the one who said maybe my mom learned to hate me and all that shit. I was just really, really pissed off. He told me to get out, I did. I cried in Jack's arms for ten minutes and we went to the beach." I said.

"How about your hat?" He asked softly.

"Not yet." I said. He smiled.

"Do you set out to confuse me?" He asked.

"It's just...agoobwa." I said. He laughed.

"You still love that show?" He asked.

"Way too much. Boy Meets World is the best thing ever." I said. He smiled.

"This is nice. We're talking, I'm not being threatened." He said. I smiled.

"Feel like doing something awesome?" I asked.

"Depends if we'll get arrested." He said.

"I thought you might say that. But, paint. No one obviously comes up here. We're here for one day. If you want to, help me out. If not, don't." I said. He smiled.

"Have you ever realized that you never let anyone know what you want unless you directly say it?" He asked.

"No, not really. Are we gonna paint or not?" I asked.

"You did it again, but paint." He said. I smiled and knelt down at the paint.

"Have anything sharp to open it with?" I asked O'Callaghan.

"No, I don't really carry sharp objects around." He said smirking. I rolled my eyes.

"This is why we have fingers. Open one." I said.

A few minutes later we got them both opened. He had red paint and I blue. I smiled.

"Pick a wall." I said.

"Why not two?" He asked.

"I get one and a half. You get one and a half. The left over wall, we put red and blue together and see what happens. Obviously, not the color, but you get what I'm saying." I said. He laughed.

He took his paint can to one wall and I took mine to the one across from him. I grabbed a brush and put it next to the can.

"You wanna sing?" I asked O'Callaghan as I turned around. He turned around and smiled.

"You want me to sing?" He asked.

"Well, yeah. I do. It's boring if it's silent. The world is so silent, we need a little commotion every once in a while." I said. He smiled.

"What am I gonna sing?" He asked.

"Your stuff that I like. Hendrix, Petty, Simple Plan, AC/DC, Steely Dan, Aerosmith, whatever you feel like." I said. He laughed.

"Alright." He said.

"O'Callaghan?" I asked.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Have you talked to Cass?" I asked.

"Not about anything special. Why?" He asked.

"Not reason." I said as I took Jack's pants off. O'Callaghan smiled.

"You're stripping?" O'Callaghan asked.

"I don't wanna get Jack's clothes messy. I'm also about to take off his shirt. I have no bra on. Get work done, Oh." I said smirking. He smiled.

I took off Jack's shirt and O'Callaghan bit his lip. I smiled.

"Start with AC/DC, and not Let's Get It Up. That's a little ironic." I said smirking. He laughed and shook his head. I turned around, dipped the brush in the paint and O'Callaghan started singing TNT. I smiled.

About two and a half hours later, we both finished our walls and stood in front of the only white one left.

"Ready?" I asked O'Callaghan. He smiled.

"Yep." He said. We both started painting and I put paint on my hand and put hand print on the wall. I grinned and bounce back and fourth on my heels.

"You're such a five year old. If you had seen that just happen you'd you just met Buzz Lightyear." He said. I laughed.

"That's gonna happen one day, don't doubt it." I said. He smiled.

"Five year old." He said.

"Give me your hand, Mister I know everything." I said. He smiled and gave me his hand. I put blue paint on it and put his hand against the wall. He smiled.

"Maybe you just met Woody." I said. He laughed.

"Maybe I did." He said smiling.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked. He shook his head and kept painting.

I shrugged and kept doing hand prints. I started singing You Found Me by Kelly Clarkson. He stared at me the whole time I sang it. I finished it and kept doing hand prints.

"What was that about, Mc?" He asked.

"I just felt like singing it." I said.

"You never just do things, ever. There's a reason you sang it." He said.

"Maybe it was to you." I said.

"Maybe or it was?" He asked.

"Think about it, idiot." I said.

"Help me out here, McKinney. I know the song. I know how you work. Just answer the question." He said.

"Believe what you want, O'Callaghan." I said.

"It won't be negative if you answer it. And while we're at it, why'd you kiss me and run away? What was that about, Mc?" He asked. I sighed.

"I have trust issues. You know that. I don't like letting people in, I don't like people seeing what I feel, I don't like people worrying about me. I kept fourteen years of my life hidden from the people I loved because it wasn't a good life. I wasn't happy, I got smacked around, I had no friends, it wasn't what I wanted to come from. I didn't want people to know that because it'd change opinions. You know it would. I never wanted any of you guys to know that my dad hit me, I never wanted you guys to feel different, and I know you do. You especially. You saw me cry, you saw me when I was weak. It's changed your opinion and I don't like it. I hid everything because I just wanted to not think of it. Then, when my dad was mentioned, I always went back to it. Every time I saw my happy go fucking lucky, loving life, secretly drinking mother, I wanted to choke her. I mean, it wasn't what I wanted. I ran away because I was scared that you would dig into it. Because I couldn't have controlled it. I was vulnerable, angry, and confused. If you had said anything, I would've told you, and I couldn't have risked that." I said. He stared at me.

"Don't put on an act for anyone, Mc. You can be weak, you don't have to be strong twenty four seven." He said.

"I can't be. It'll break me." I said.

"I've seen you cry before, Mc." He said.

"What, three times? It's not the same, Oh. It's not. Can you believe I was so stoked to turn ten? You know, double digits, fuck yeah, I'll be awesome. You know? I never would've turned ten if I knew what the next three years would be like." I said. He sighed.

"When was the last time you were happy? Genuinely happy. Nothing in the back of you mind. Completely, one hundred percent happy?" He asked.

"Every July twenty fifth. Nothing's in my head that day, at all." I said. He smiled.

"Nothing else?" He asked.

"June twenty ninth, three years ago." I said. He smiled.

"The day we went to Vegas." He said. I nodded.

"Yep." I said.

"It was you and I. We were happy. What happened?" He asked.

"You know what happened, Oh. You started a fight before you left for tour and didn't bother to fix it during tour. No calls, no texts, not a thing. But, Pat, Kennedy, Jared and Garrett made sure to call or text me every day. Just, not my boyfriend. The one who started the fight. You came back and I didn't bother letting you explain." I said. He sighed.

"That's what this is?" He asked.

"There isn't a 'this', man." I said.

"No, Mc. You're wrong. There will always be a this." He said.

"Why are you coping an attitude? You asked, I answered." I said.

"Because you just threw away five years in a few words." He said.

"You think I don't care, don't you? Because I feel nothing, right? I just happen to never feel any emotion. I don't care about anything, and no one. That's right, right? That's what you think?" I asked.

"Didn't we talk about that yesterday? I know you care." He said.

"Just, sing something, please." I said as I felt tears well up in my eyes.

I stared at the wall and started painting. He sighed and started singing She Never Cried In Front Of Me by Toby Keith. The whole time, I never looked at him. I kept my eyes on the wall and held in the tears. He finished and it was silent.

"I guess she did, Mc." He said. I sighed.

"Yeah, the times you have seen her cry and the times she's cried in front of you are a very different number." I said.

"Then why can't you cry in front of me, Mc? It won't make you any less badass then you are." He said.

"That's not what it's about. I told you. It's about me not being in control of myself. Even when I didn't cry, I told you almost everything. If I cried right now, I'd tell you something that I don't want to." I said.

He didn't say anything to that. He just sang Angel by Aerosmith. After about an hour, we finished. I could've kept my clothes on, I didn't get any on me. I put Jack's pants and shirt back on and O'Callaghan and I walked back outside the venue.

"Don't tell anyone about this, okay? Or that we talked at all. Or that we were pleasant. Or that I cried. Or anything. This never happened." I told O'Callaghan.

"I can't promise that, Mc." He said.