The way life is

Guilt. That's all I ever feel when I look at her. Fuck, she won't even look at me. And when or if she ever does look at me, it's like a sharp gun shot pierced me. Right where it hurts most. No, not 'Mr. Alien' down there. It pierces me right in the heart. God, she's making me sound like some sort of cliche. I probably deserve it though. I was a total douche. Scratch that, I am a total douche.

Fuck.

I've been starting to give up on trying to get Laura to just look at me. Actually, I've been 'giving up' for a while now. Today has been the first day in a long time in which we're just all in the same room. Not thinking of homework. Not thinking of problems. Just chilling with the crew.

But all good moments have to fade. I take a double take towards Tammie who seemed to be panicking. I stare out the window to see what she was freaking out about and finally catch on. The rents were home and when her parents are away she isn't supposed to have 'friends' over. Let alone me and the guys.

I grabbed a shit load of goods and opened the window, "Okay men. Party is over." I saw the disapproval in their eyes but for the sake of Tammie and her so called 'freedom'.. I wasn't taking no for an answer. "Now." I added sternly and with more force.

Thankfully, they didn't give me too much bullshit.

Honestly, it must have been some sort of 'fate' that me and Tammie lived right next to each other in the neighborhood in which all the houses were connected. The only thing that had separated our rooms was a hallow wall.

Carefully, I pulled myself out of the window and made my way towards my window. It was risky to do this, but years of practice and lots of sneaking in and out has paid off. One by one me and the boys reached my room safely.

The haven, as I like to call it. You could probably find anything and everything in this room and if not, you I could probably make something to substitute for it. Just looking in my room you could already tell that I've had many 'hobbies'.

Fixing nerf guns so that they could shoot a lot farther then they were created to, lighters and some lighter fluid, a poker table for when I'm in the mood to place some bets..

"Dude," I heard Zaine's disappointed voice, "Is this what I think it is?"

Ah shit, they found my loot. I turned around to see him holding a thin paper bag, next to it a plastic container. Was I really stupid enough to leave that open? "Ah, yeah it is. But don't worry man. I'm holding it for a friend."

"Mhmm. Sure you are." He said as he put it back into it's container, unconvinced.

That wasn't entirely a lie. I was holding it for a friend. Apparently Connor's folks have been a bit more suspicious of him then usual and he needs some place to hide his stash. My reward? One good hit whenever I needed it. Hell, getting high is one of the hobbies I'd never be able to handle. Do you know how much that shit costs?

Bump, bump. Saved by Tammie as usual. I skipped over to the wall that separated us and pounded on the wall 3 times in response. A way to signal that I made it across safely. I grabbed a silver and blue walkie talkie and pressed the button, "Commander the eagle has reached the nest, I repeat the eagle has reached it's nest."

It took a couple seconds but finally a reply came, "Roger that eagle. Over and out."

"Cute." I heard Derrick comment. It was is geeky, I know. But it's a routine we have created and probably will stick with until one of us eventually moves. Which honestly, is one of the scariest thoughts I can even think of. Besides you know, having someone you care about die.

Tammie, Laura and Raymond. Inseparable since Kinder. It had always been the three of us. That is, until Laura and I developed feelings for each other. Then it turned into two and one. We saw how it affected Tammie. We saw the loneliness in her eyes, though she's always been too stubborn to admit it.

That's when we decided to stay just friends, for the sake of Tammie.

Now it's just one, one and one. Brilliant.