Tired n' Lonely

The weeks went by and I slowly began to accept that I would probably never hear from Joey again. He no doubt wanted nothing to do with me now he knew we weren't going to end up in bed together. The Slipknot gig came and went. Their poster got taken down from behind the counter, though my copy remained on the wall of the back room.
Life returned to the way it had been for years, and the way it would be for the rest of my life, and I grew to come to peace with the fact that I should be grateful for what I had.
It was around three months after he last came over that I got another knock at the door late one Friday night. I rushed to the door, my heart racing, and pulled it open in anticipation of pulling Joey into a tight hug, but to my surprise it was not him I was confronted by.
“Nicky?”
“Yes... who are you?”
“I'm Eric. I'm in a band with Joey. He wanted me to come over here and have a word with you.”
I felt a little sick. Like I was a school girl sent to see the headmaster. But I hadn't done anything wrong... had I? My mind began to race... what if he had overdosed? I realised I needed to respond to the man who was stood before me.
“Oh... well, come in then.”
I stepped gingerly out of his way and he came in from the street, shutting the door behind him. I bolted it closed and then pointed towards the back, “I'm in there.”
He followed me silently, and I began to think about what he could want, again. Surely he would be more lively if there was nothing wrong.
I cast my eyes around the room – a half filled ashtray, an unmade bed and an upturned crate covered in empty glasses and plates. What a place to bring a guest.
“Sit down... if you want. I can put the bed up if you'd prefer to sit on a couch?”
“No... it's fine.” He stood nervously next to the bed.
“So... what did Joey send you over here for?”
“He's a little bit scared, to be honest.”
“Scared? Of what?”
“He thinks you don't want to know him any more... because of something which happened a few months ago? He won't tell me what it is, don't worry... he just wanted me to give you his address so that you can write to him if you still want to be friends.”
He thought I didn't want to know him any more? He had really misunderstood what I said to him before. There was a difference between not being able to be friends, and not being able to be lovers. In my book at least.
I begrudgingly took the sheet of paper Eric handed me, and wondered why Joey had told him to come now and not some other time.
“So... do you still wanna be friends with him?”
“Yeah. He's a sweet guy. And a great friend.”
“He really thought you wouldn't want to see him again, you know?”
“I told him we couldn't be more than friends. I still want to be friends, just... nothing more.”
“I guess he must really like you then. He's been pretty crushed lately.”
“Such is life, I guess. He showed me just how different we are. I like him, but he's not after a stable relationship, a stable job and two kids. I can't just abandon my kids for a relationship. That's why we fell out,” I thought of how I had felt when I saw the cocaine fall from his bag, before adding, ruefully, “more or less, anyway.” I tried to change the subject as I could see Eric was a little uncomfortable himself, “So, why did he send you here tonight?”
“He... .” I stood in silence, a little confused, before he continued a few seconds later, “he's actually across the road in McDonald's right now. He wanted me to see if you were OK with him before he decided whether to come over or not.”
I felt a bubble of excitement rise from inside me like I was a small child again, “Of course I'm OK with him! Tell him to come over here!”
I stood excitedly by the door as he walked across the road and emerged a minute or two later with Joey, who looked almost as excited as me. He caught sight of me in the doorway and ran across the road leaving his friend stood waiting for a car to pass until he could join us. I wasn't really thinking of that, though, as Joey launched himself at me and took me into the most crushing hug I have ever received. I didn't care that it was vaguely painful, though, as I was with him again and he knew I wasn't mad at him now.
“How was the tour?” I asked, into his shoulder.
“It was great, thanks. I missed you so much!”
“hey, you could have come and seen me when you were in Boston. I guess you just forgot the little people, eh, Mr. Rockstar.”
“Well that would make twice.” he said, pointing to Eric who was still on the other side of the road, looking a little annoyed.
I laughed, as I wrapped my arm around his waist. “Seriously though, I hope you had a great time.”
“Well, it's getting our name out there, for sure. And of course performing is always fun.” He said, as Eric finally managed to join us in the doorway.
“So, are we going to stay here and watch films and eat pizza?” Joey asked, almost sarcastically.
“Allright, I know I don't lead the most exciting of lives.” I said, “But I do have some new films now!”
“Well, Eric knows some awesome clubs round here if...”
“...Joey, I told you I don't really do the whole nightclub thing. Chinese and a film with you and someone I've never met will be enough adventure for one weekend, if you don't mind.”
“Well... only if you promise you will come out next time.”
“OK. I promise.” I said, hoping he would forget. I headed back to the small back room. “so, the films are over there, the choice is yours. Just not The Exorcist, Halloween or Plan 9, OK?”
Joey laughed. Eric was not quite in on the joke.
“But I like those films. Can't we watch Halloween?”
“NO!” Me and Joey yelled at him, in unison.
He looked a little sad as Joey went through the box of films I had brought in from home.
“Can I offer you a drink?”
Joey looked at me with his eyebrow raised.
“After last time?”
“Oh come on, we just won't drink that much this time.”
“Joey and 'won't drink that much' in one sentence? How well do you guys actually know each other?” Eric laughed.
“Hey! For Nicky I'm willing to hold off on the booze. She's a good friend. And we made a promise.”
“Speaking of which, Mr. Rocktar.... you promised you would write to me.”
“I... lost your address.”
“You lost my address?” I sounded sceptical.
“Yeah.. hey, Nicky, lets go and grab this Chinese while Eric finds us a film to watch. It's only fair after we told him off before, right.”
“Right.” I said, catching on to the fact he had stuff to say which he didn't want Eric to hear.
Eric seemed happy enough to choose a film on his own so I grabbed my jacket and followed Joey out of the shop, aware that he had no idea how to get to the nearest Chinese take out.
“So, why didn't you write?” I asked, lighting up a cigarette.
“I lost your address.”
“Oh, come on Mr. Rockstar, give me some credit.”
“I did. It was in my back pocket, and then when I left I threw.... that stuff... away.... and your address must have been thrown out with it.”
“Oh...” I realised he had not been lying to me.
“So.. you really do want to be friends, still?” He asked, taking my hand.
My heart raced. I really wanted to be more than that... but did throwing out one bag of drugs mean he was instantly the right guy for me?
“Of course I do, silly.” I said as I pushed open the door to the take away.
“That's a relief.”
I let his hand drop from my own as I went up to he counter and collected the order.
As we left the building he stood for a moment as though he had something important to say, but he just carried on as though there was nothing important to discuss and we had an eventless trip back.
I couldn't stand the way he made me feel. He was a great friend, but I wanted him to be more than a great friend. And he made me feel like It was possible sometimes. Like I really could make it work with a rock star from another state. Hell... there was no real reason why I couldn't... was there?
I brushed my thoughts aside when we got back, in favour of trying to act as though there was nothing the matter so I didn't put this new guy off me. It would be beneficial to make friends with someone who lived near by. It got kind of lonely without Joey, and I really did need to start going out again eventually.
We watched Cannibal Holocaust and ate Chinese, and it felt like when I was younger again, sat without a care in the world with two friends. If only Eric didn't have work the next day, he wouldn't have left me alone with Joey again and forced me to face the uncomfortable truth – that me and Joey didn't work as friends. We had to be something more than that.
We lasted ten whole minutes before we were in bed together after Eric left.
Well, I got one thing right about him at least, he was amazing in bed.