The Tracks of My Tears

The Track Of My Tears

Chapter Nineteen

”You must tell him...my baby, having a baby....you must tell him before it is to late....tell him....tell him.”

'

Annie jolted up, she ripped the blankets from her cold sweaty body and rushed out of the room, once again to the bathroom. Ten minutes latter she stood their looking into the mirror, her hands were shaky and her mothers voice still rang in her head.

”My baby having a baby....”

She couldn't stand it anymore; the annoyance, the anger, the bitterness and most of all the fear raged within her. She tore out of the bathroom, on a mission to get back to her room, once she did she slammed the door behind her, she knew she was making a lot of noise but at that moment she didn't care. She dressed quickly, glancing at the clock it read sexy-forty two, she knew they would be getting up soon, some might already be awake. She once again rushed out of her room, down the steps and out of the front door. She knew just where she was going, but how was she going to get there? She had not gotten her license yet, she would just walk, it wasn't that far. So she set off down the street, a few cars passed her as she did.

She was standing outside the store within twenty minutes, the store has just opened and vary few shoppers were there, that was the best time to do what she needed to do. She marched into the store, walking along the isles till she found the one she needed; once she did she jetted down the isle and stopped right in front of many different boxes. Not knowing witch one to pick Annie looked around for help, she saw nothing but things like Kay's Yours&Mine boxes, condoms and other things of that nature staring at her. She frowned at the many different condoms; they were suppose to stop this from happening, but she knew it wasn't the fault of the condom, she knew that at one point the rubber had broke, a thing like that could only last so long. And in the heat of pleasure neither her nor Joe cared about the out come would be, only the need for more, the need for them to be close was the only thing they concern themselves with. She took a chance and picked out a pink and purple box. First Response.

She hurried back to the front, she felt weird walking up to the counter to by the test that would tell her the truth. She felt like all eyes were on her as she placed the box on the counter, the women made a noise but took the box and rang it up. Annie put down a ten dollar bill as the women but the box into a plastic bag, she then took the money from off the counter, hitting buttons on the cash registrar, she put the ten inside and drew out a few dollars. She handed them to Annie, she muttered as Annie left in a rush.“Come again.”

Once Annie was home she blew past an annoyed looking Nick who must have been looking for her, she locked herself in the bathroom and pulled the box out of the plastic bag, she couldn't believe what she was about to do, she never that she would be the girl to be knocked up before turning eighteen, before being married. There was still hope, but it faded when she read the back of the box, within five minutes she would know.... she would know if she was truly pregnant, she didn't know if she could wait that long as she slowly opened the box, a long white stick falling into her hand.

She was shaking as she pulled her hand up, looking at the watch that was on her wrist, it had been five minutes, she heaved deep breaths and her hand reached out for that little white stick.... that white stick was almost an enemy now. She didn't want to look at it, but she knew she had to, she flipped it over and tears burned her eyes. It almost didn't feel real, how could this be? The little words seemed to mock her. Pregnant.

She cried as she carried out her plans of hiding the evidence, she couldn't let the Jonas' find out.... there was no way. She pulled open the door; it feeling so much heavier now, or maybe it was she felt so much weaker. She slumped slowly into her room, she shut and locked the door behind her. She crawled into her bed, falling onto her back.

How could she be pregnant? He was marrying someone ells and she would be stuck caring for a baby, it was enough he was going to be with someone ells, but now she would be alone with a child. More fears hit her. How was she going to take care of a baby? What would they say when they found out? She couldn't hide being pregnant forever, they would find out someday. But what would happen? Would they kick her out? Make her give up the baby? More tears leaked from her eyes, she was so tired, so weak, she had only closed her eyes for a second...

“Annie....Annie...pumpkin.”

“I'm not in the mood for this now....” she trailed off.

“Well, I'm just so sorry I couldn't come at a better time for you....you know we have to do these things when we feel the strongest and able to come into this world... it doesn't matter if someone is in the mood for this or not.”

Annie rose up in her bed, she didn't feel like she was asleep, but that was the most her mother had ever said to her in a dream.... if it was a dream.

“Are you just going to sit there?” A voice rang from her side, Annie slowly looked over and screamed with horror, jumping out of the bed. “What a awesome way to greet your mother....”

“Your...your not my mother...my mother is... she's.... if Nick is playing some kind of sick joke its not funny.... I'll kill his virgin ass.”

“This has nothing to do with Nick.... Nick can not see me... only you can see me....”

“What the hell?”

“I can see your scared but...”

“YEAH.... YOUR DEAD... AND YOUR TALKING TO ME... OH MY GOD, I'M GOING INSANE.”

“Your not going insane, Pumpkin.”

“Then why are you here?” she asked, looking at her mother, she was a lot paler then Annie had known her in life, she was still wearing the clothes she wore one of the last times Annie saw her.... when she was saying goodnight and she would see her in the morning, hours latter Annie was carried out of a burning house by her mother, she was now covered in ash and pushing at things to get out of her way. She left Annie on the curb, telling her she would be right back, that she had to find Annie's father, but she never came back, neither her mother nor her father came out of the burning house. Tears were now soaking Annie's cheeks as she star at her mother.

“I came here to help you.... You have to tell Joe your pregnant.... he has to know before he's married and its to late..... I've tired entering your dreams... but you didn't seem to get the message.”

“I got the message....” Annie trailed off, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. “How did...how did you know about me being pregnant and Joe... you know about Joe?”

“Of course I know about Joe.... I wouldn't want anyone ells for you.”

Annie sobbed into her hands, those words meant a lot to her.

“And your not...not mad?”

“Of course not.”

“But...but if you were here...still... would you be mad?” she sniffed and mopped her eyes still, she just couldn’t seem to stop the flow of tears.

“I might be at first...but knowing what I know.... and how much he cares about you.... and now much you both love each other, I would be just as good with it as I am now.... you were meant for each other Annie... I always wondered why he hadn't found a girl, he dated some nice girls, but it was because his girl was my girl.”

“And your ok with that?”

“I am... After watching you two for years I knew it was going to happen... it was bound to happen.”

“You've been watching us?” Annie then asked, the thought of her mother watching some of the things her and Joe had done scared her.

“I've tuned out at times, dear....” her mother smiled, seeming to know what she was thinking. “Everyone needs a little privacy.”

Annie smiled looking down at her feet, she looked up once more and her mother was still smiling.

“I don't have much more time... Annie....Pumpkin, I need you to promise me you will tell Joe before he gets married, you have to give me your word.... I don't know when I'll be able to come back, if at all.... he has to know....”

“I know he does... and I'll tell him...”

“Before he gets married?”

“Yes... I will.. I promise.”

“It might seem like the wrong thing to do, but your making the right choice.... you have to do it.”

“Can I ask you something?” Annie then suddenly asked.

“Anything.”

“Wheres...wheres dad?” she almost felt weird asking, yet sad at the same time. “Why didn't he come with you?”

“He doesn't know I'm here.... he would probably be mad... he has this thing about not wanting to get invalid with your life... he says its your life and you should make your own choices... but Annie... I had to come this is my grand baby here... I have to do whats best for the both of you.... and Joe.”

“Does he watch two?” she asked, still thinking about her father.

“Of course he does.... oh....” she suddenly stopped talking, her pale self seemed to get paler. “I have to go.”

“Your....your leave?” the sobs began again, she wanted her mother to stay with her.

“I have to.”

“But...But I need you...and...” she trailed off, fighting back more sobs.

“the ones that love us never really leave us.”

Annie opened her eyes, tears were still slipping down her cheeks as she lay in her bed once again, was it a dream? Or was it real? Was her mother really just standing in her room? She looked over at the spot where her mother was standing and nothing was there. Annie sat up quick. She was going to make sure she did what her mother asked of her, if it was the last thing she did. She pulled her cell phone off the dresser and found Joe's number, but she couldn't hit send.... her finger wouldn't let her.

“I have to tell him in person... I can't tell him something like this over the phone.”