How it all Started...
To the End
>Mikey's POV<
Gerard came to visit about three days after the incident with Sarah's mom. We walked outside into the bright July sunshine and found a quiet area of the garden. Apparently he had something he wanted to tell me. He made me promise I wouldn't bring Sarah. I could tell he had something against her so as soon as we were seated I asked him what it was.
"What do you mean?" he asked. He was trying to sound innocent, but I know my brother.
"Don't give me crap, Gee, just answer the question. What's wrong with Sarah?"
He sighed, and then looked away. He looked pale and kind of thin, I wondered what else he was doing at college. "I don't want you getting attached and then deciding not to come home."
"Bit late for that, really," I replied indifferently. How could he say that about her when he left me for school? "But I think I was close to convincing her she may make it outside."
"What do you mean, you were close?"
"Her mum came by a couple days ago..." I said slowly. My face must have registered some kind of emotion, because Gee said; "that bad, huh?"
"You have no fucking idea," I replied, and I was surprised at the anger in my voice. I never got mad. He raised an eyebrow at me and I told him what she told me that night. His mouth was hanging open by the end of it.
"You can't be serious?" he said.
“As a fucking heart attack,” I said venomously.
Gerard actually turned to stare at me. “Well, it looks like she’s opened you up too,” he said in awe.
“What do you mean?” I asked, only somewhat meaning it. I looked away, and then sighed.
“She’s obviously not the only one healing in here,” he replied, “I have never heard you raise your voice, rarely ever hear you angry, and I have never seen you hit a kid. What the hell, Mikes?” he said. He had stopped sounding accusatory, however.
“I…don’t know. When Alex was beating on her, something happened. I actually felt mad, like when Jared was talking shit about you…” I shrugged, “And then…Dr. Nelson said she never spoke to anyone unless she was screaming at Alex…but she spoke to me. I think I’m the first person aside from her grandmother who’s shown her kindness. That was it, after that we were just friends.”
Gerard stopped acting upset after this, and when he left, I had a lot to think about.
>Sarah’s POV<
I know his brother hates me. I saw the way he looked at me when he came in. What the fuck was I thinking making friends with that kid? Am I retarded? What-
Knocking. I swore. I was in the middle of something…bad at the moment. Scrambling, I called; “Who’s there?” My voice wavered like it does when I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. I really shouldn’t be doing this, but I can’t stop…I can’t help it…
“It’s Mikey, are you all right?” he called back, going for the doorknob. Thank God I locked it.
“Mikes! I’m naked!” I blurted out without thinking. Then I sighed quietly. “Gimmie three seconds, I’ll be right there.” I ran to my dresser and ripped the second drawer open. I shoved the bloody blade under a keepsake box and then grabbed the tissues. I pressed hard and then while leaving them there folded thinly, I wrapped some gauze around my left wrist. It was shitty and I knew it, but it would do for now. I pulled my shirtsleeve down and then took a deep breath. I almost forgot the rag. I grabbed it and shoved it under my pillow. Then I pulled the door open trying to look as normal as humanly possible right then.
“What the hell have you been doing? You look beat,” he said, walking into my room and sitting on my bed. God, Mikey, move!
“Um, still upset about my mum, you know and then there’s-um, well, nothing really. I’m not sleeping too much.”
“Wow, You’re a worse liar than I am. Fine, don’t tell me, it’s cool. You wanna go outside, it’s like eighty out,” he said quietly as he studied me.
I was starting to notice the pain in my arm, but refused to acknowledge it. “Yeah, that sounds cool. Let’s-“
“Sarah, why are you bleeding through your shirt?”
My heart stopped beating and I started feeling dizzy. Not here, not now, and not with fucking Mikey! I looked down and evidently the tissues should have been a bit thicker. “Um….” What was I supposed to say? I looked up and gasped. There were tears in Mikey’s eyes. “Mikey, what-?”
“Sarah, you’re not serious. Why?” He asked, sounding hurt. “I thought we were friends. We had each other…we were gonna leave, remember?” he asked.
>Mikey’s POV, rewind a few minutes<
I sat on her bed, taking in the room. I didn’t usually have to come here to find her. I looked at her and realized she looked like crap. “What the hell have you been doing, you look beat?” I asked, a little worried. My talk with Gerard had left me thinking about her even more than normal, and sitting on her bed was making me feel kind of nervous.
“Um, still upset about my mum, you know and then there’s-um, well, nothing really. I’m not sleeping too much.”
God, and Gee thought I was a bad liar. “Wow, you’re a worse liar than I am. Fine, don’t tell me, it’s cool. You wanna go outside, it’s like eighty out,” I said, trying to sound careless, but it bothered me that she was lying-then I saw her arm. I didn’t even hear her reply. I suddenly felt hurt, actually really lied to. “Sarah, why are you bleeding through your shirt?”
She looked defeated, then glanced at her arm before looking up at me. I have no idea why I was crying, why I cared, but I did, I was… “Sarah, you’re not serious? Why?” I asked. I was also asking myself why I cared. “I thought we were friends. We had each other…we were gonna leave, remember?”
She sat next to me on the bed and stared at her lap for a minute before she answered. “I… haven’t in awhile, I just…needed to.”
“Sarah, they won’t let you come home if you’re doing this, promise me you won’t any more.”
She made a face, and tried to look away. I reached up and pulled her face back towards me. “Mikey, I don’t think I can do it…”
“I know I can’t do it. I need you there with me. I’m not leaving you after all of this, we’re in it together now, right?”
“I know I said-“
“You didn’t mean it?” I asked, my stomach feeling full off lead.
“No! I mean, yes, I meant it! I just-“
“You’re backing out now. Wimp.” I was starting to feel angry. She lied.Just like Gee did.
“No. I’m not.”
I had a sudden urge, and being in the mood I was in, I just followed it. The next thing I knew I was kissing her. For the first time ever, I was kissing a girl.
Gerard came to visit about three days after the incident with Sarah's mom. We walked outside into the bright July sunshine and found a quiet area of the garden. Apparently he had something he wanted to tell me. He made me promise I wouldn't bring Sarah. I could tell he had something against her so as soon as we were seated I asked him what it was.
"What do you mean?" he asked. He was trying to sound innocent, but I know my brother.
"Don't give me crap, Gee, just answer the question. What's wrong with Sarah?"
He sighed, and then looked away. He looked pale and kind of thin, I wondered what else he was doing at college. "I don't want you getting attached and then deciding not to come home."
"Bit late for that, really," I replied indifferently. How could he say that about her when he left me for school? "But I think I was close to convincing her she may make it outside."
"What do you mean, you were close?"
"Her mum came by a couple days ago..." I said slowly. My face must have registered some kind of emotion, because Gee said; "that bad, huh?"
"You have no fucking idea," I replied, and I was surprised at the anger in my voice. I never got mad. He raised an eyebrow at me and I told him what she told me that night. His mouth was hanging open by the end of it.
"You can't be serious?" he said.
“As a fucking heart attack,” I said venomously.
Gerard actually turned to stare at me. “Well, it looks like she’s opened you up too,” he said in awe.
“What do you mean?” I asked, only somewhat meaning it. I looked away, and then sighed.
“She’s obviously not the only one healing in here,” he replied, “I have never heard you raise your voice, rarely ever hear you angry, and I have never seen you hit a kid. What the hell, Mikes?” he said. He had stopped sounding accusatory, however.
“I…don’t know. When Alex was beating on her, something happened. I actually felt mad, like when Jared was talking shit about you…” I shrugged, “And then…Dr. Nelson said she never spoke to anyone unless she was screaming at Alex…but she spoke to me. I think I’m the first person aside from her grandmother who’s shown her kindness. That was it, after that we were just friends.”
Gerard stopped acting upset after this, and when he left, I had a lot to think about.
>Sarah’s POV<
I know his brother hates me. I saw the way he looked at me when he came in. What the fuck was I thinking making friends with that kid? Am I retarded? What-
Knocking. I swore. I was in the middle of something…bad at the moment. Scrambling, I called; “Who’s there?” My voice wavered like it does when I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. I really shouldn’t be doing this, but I can’t stop…I can’t help it…
“It’s Mikey, are you all right?” he called back, going for the doorknob. Thank God I locked it.
“Mikes! I’m naked!” I blurted out without thinking. Then I sighed quietly. “Gimmie three seconds, I’ll be right there.” I ran to my dresser and ripped the second drawer open. I shoved the bloody blade under a keepsake box and then grabbed the tissues. I pressed hard and then while leaving them there folded thinly, I wrapped some gauze around my left wrist. It was shitty and I knew it, but it would do for now. I pulled my shirtsleeve down and then took a deep breath. I almost forgot the rag. I grabbed it and shoved it under my pillow. Then I pulled the door open trying to look as normal as humanly possible right then.
“What the hell have you been doing? You look beat,” he said, walking into my room and sitting on my bed. God, Mikey, move!
“Um, still upset about my mum, you know and then there’s-um, well, nothing really. I’m not sleeping too much.”
“Wow, You’re a worse liar than I am. Fine, don’t tell me, it’s cool. You wanna go outside, it’s like eighty out,” he said quietly as he studied me.
I was starting to notice the pain in my arm, but refused to acknowledge it. “Yeah, that sounds cool. Let’s-“
“Sarah, why are you bleeding through your shirt?”
My heart stopped beating and I started feeling dizzy. Not here, not now, and not with fucking Mikey! I looked down and evidently the tissues should have been a bit thicker. “Um….” What was I supposed to say? I looked up and gasped. There were tears in Mikey’s eyes. “Mikey, what-?”
“Sarah, you’re not serious. Why?” He asked, sounding hurt. “I thought we were friends. We had each other…we were gonna leave, remember?” he asked.
>Mikey’s POV, rewind a few minutes<
I sat on her bed, taking in the room. I didn’t usually have to come here to find her. I looked at her and realized she looked like crap. “What the hell have you been doing, you look beat?” I asked, a little worried. My talk with Gerard had left me thinking about her even more than normal, and sitting on her bed was making me feel kind of nervous.
“Um, still upset about my mum, you know and then there’s-um, well, nothing really. I’m not sleeping too much.”
God, and Gee thought I was a bad liar. “Wow, you’re a worse liar than I am. Fine, don’t tell me, it’s cool. You wanna go outside, it’s like eighty out,” I said, trying to sound careless, but it bothered me that she was lying-then I saw her arm. I didn’t even hear her reply. I suddenly felt hurt, actually really lied to. “Sarah, why are you bleeding through your shirt?”
She looked defeated, then glanced at her arm before looking up at me. I have no idea why I was crying, why I cared, but I did, I was… “Sarah, you’re not serious? Why?” I asked. I was also asking myself why I cared. “I thought we were friends. We had each other…we were gonna leave, remember?”
She sat next to me on the bed and stared at her lap for a minute before she answered. “I… haven’t in awhile, I just…needed to.”
“Sarah, they won’t let you come home if you’re doing this, promise me you won’t any more.”
She made a face, and tried to look away. I reached up and pulled her face back towards me. “Mikey, I don’t think I can do it…”
“I know I can’t do it. I need you there with me. I’m not leaving you after all of this, we’re in it together now, right?”
“I know I said-“
“You didn’t mean it?” I asked, my stomach feeling full off lead.
“No! I mean, yes, I meant it! I just-“
“You’re backing out now. Wimp.” I was starting to feel angry. She lied.Just like Gee did.
“No. I’m not.”
I had a sudden urge, and being in the mood I was in, I just followed it. The next thing I knew I was kissing her. For the first time ever, I was kissing a girl.