When I'm Gone

There Zachary Baker was, that day. He, his son, Blake Haner, and his boyfriend of 2 years, Brian Haner, were driving down a road.

A car had decided, “Hey, I don’t like these guys. Let me crash into them!” And he did.
Zachary had lost Brian in that accident, on that day. It was because Brian had to go to the studio.

To Zachary, it seemed Brian loved his fans and music more than Zachary himself.
That GUITAR got more action than Zacky did. But he loved Brian, and mourned for him.

But there was always this voice to tell him to move on.

‘When I’m gone, don’t mourn. Rejoice, every time you hear the sound of my voice.’ It’d tell him.

‘Just know that I’m looking down on you smiling, and I didn’t feel a thing, so baby don’t feel no pain just smile back.’ It’d add.

Zachary knew this was his boyfriend Brian.

He couldn’t move on though, he’d continue to mourn and weep. Continuously, for days he would.

It was hurting Brian it see this. You see, Brian did not go to Heaven or Hell. He had a task to complete here on Earth, and involved his sweet, Zacky.

‘Why did I have to leave Zacky?’ he’d think every day, tears running down his ghostly face.
But one day, Zacky DID move on.

And Brian was sad; if he wasn’t dead he would have sure killed himself.

So he decided to send a message to Zacky and Blake, in the form of a song.

A rap song at that. You may not think it was the best idea, but to Brian it was.

Brian returned to Earth after careful planning in his hideout, a little nook literally in the moon.

He took the form of Marshall Bruce Mathers, also known as Eminem.

He got a tattoo of Zacky’s face on him arm. Zacky would know it was him.

Brian was sure of this.

So he’d carry on, and write this special song for Zacky and Blake.

Then came the night that Brian Haner had to perform his song.

The curtains rose, and he began.
‘Yeah...
It's my life...
My own words I guess...

Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?’ ‘Marshall’ raised his sleeve, revealing the tattoo of Zacky.
‘When they know they're your heart
and you know you were their armor
and you will destroy anyone who would try to harm them
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for turns on you to spite you?

What happens when you become the main source of their pain?’
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go to his concert
"Daddy where's Zacky? I can't find Zacky where is he?"
I don't know go play Blakey, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't going to write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell them you love them
And put hands on his other dad, who's a spitting image of him
That's Syn Gates, yeah baby, Syn Gate’s crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Gates’ rock-a-by-baby...

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

I keep having this dream, I'm pushing' Blake on the swing
He keeps screaming, He don't want me to sing
"You're making Zacky cry, why? Why is Zacky crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"

He’s piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in his pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it with you'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These fucking walls must be talking, Because man I can hear them

They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight
Now go out there and show that you love them before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on
And I'm singing...
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling

And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Zacky, his wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leaving'

"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Zacky sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Zacky are going"
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice

"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Brian, they keep.. screaming your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see

How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Gates" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the car that I was supposed to be in crashes and burns to ashes

That's when I wake up, alarm clocks ringing, there's birds singing
It's Spring and Blake’s outside swinging, I walk right up to Zack and kiss him
Tell him I miss him, Zacky just smiles and winks at our son
Almost as if to say..

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...’

And Zacky knew this was his message, he told by the names.

He knew it was Brian. But his new boyfriend, Matt was disgusted.

Matt left Zacky there, broken and battered for Brian to find.

Brian didn’t find Zacky.

Instead, he found Zacky the next day while Brian himself was in his regular body.

Zacky was pushing Blake on a swing.

Brian does like he did in the song, and walks right up to Zacky and kisses him. He tells them he misses them and he’s sorry.

Zacky asks him why he’s sorry and Brian answers truthfully.

‘This is the last time you will ever see me. I came to finish my business, and I did. I gave you my message. I want you two to know I love you both, and I’ll meet you both in Heaven.’

Zacky cried for days once again, as did his son. Eventually they stopped mourning, and indeed rejoiced. They smiled every time they heard Brian’s voice and guitar. They smiled at the thought of him.

They eventually died on the way to the airport, in a car crash.

The same type that killed Zacky’s love, Brian.

When They arrived at the gates, Brian indeed was waiting for them.

‘I never lie.’ He say, smiling.

He opened the gates for them, and entered their afterlife.

‘So when I’m gone…’