Breaking Their Hold

Matt woke us six hours later. "Get up. We've got places to be."

Jimmy groaned and yanked the blankets over his head. I squinted at Matt in the bright afternoon sun. "Like where?"

He hesitated. "...Brian's."....

Jimmy poked his head out, looking like a mole emerging from its tunnel. "What? Why?"

Matt didn't answer.

"I can stay home, right?" I widened my eyes pleadingly. "Don't make me go."

Jimmy twisted to look at me. "Oh, no. You're going."

"But--"

"No buts, young lady," Jimmy said sternly. He threw back the blankets and got to his feet, smoothing his hair as he brushed past Matt on his way out.

"Do I really have to come?" I asked Matt.

He regarded me solemnly. "I think you should."

His demeanor scared me. "Did something happen?”

Matt raised his hands. "It's not for me to tell. Just get dressed."

Heart pounding, I scrambled out of bed and threw on a white spaghetti-strapped top and a pair of shorts. I ran to the front of the house, where Jimmy, Matt, and Johnny were waiting by the front door.

"Where's Zacky?" I questioned.

"He's already there," Matt said. "Ready?"

I nodded. We filed outside and crammed into Matt's Mustang. The drive to Brian's was tense. All of the guys were worried, and I had no clue as to what was going on.

The first thing I noticed--because how could I miss it?--was that Brian's Eclipse had been wrecked. The front end was smashed and there was a long scrape down the driver's side. Matt saw my eyes trained on the car. "Don't worry, doll. He's okay."

Jimmy led the way inside. The house was dark and silent. I wondered momentarily if Brian and his family were actually here. We traipsed through the living room, into a back hallway, and up a staircase. There was only one room here--expansive, airy, and currently filled with the smell of booze and antiseptic.

Black-out curtains covered the huge picture window on one side of the room. Zacky and Brian were on the bed, which was on the opposite side of the room.

I heard one of them suck in a breath between his teeth. Not caring that I was the last person Brian wanted to see, I shoved by Jimmy and made my way to the bed. Brian was stretched out on top of the covers, wearing only a pair of ripped-up jeans that had a few blood stains on them. One of his arms was hanging off the bed and in this hand he clutched a bottle of Jack Daniel's. His other arm was being disinfected by Zacky. There was an angry gash running from his wrist to just below his shoulder.

I gasped. I couldn't help it. Brian opened his eyes, carefully avoiding the sight of his injured arm, and looked at me. He was having trouble focusing, and I knew he was fucking wasted.

"What the hell happened?" I demanded of Zacky.

"I was in a wreck," Brian chimed in, slurring. He added under his breath, "Dumb bitch."

Zacky's eyes narrowed at Brian's attitude, and he scrubbed a little more forcefully than was necessary, causing Brian to inhale sharply again. Brian took a long drink from the whiskey bottle, then glowered at me. "Are you gonna feel sorry for me now, princess? Sorry because the poor loser freak has a mother who doesn't give a damn about him and a father who can't handle it and a brother who just disappeared and left him to deal with this shit!" His voice was rising as he went on, his anger and pain bringing tears to my eyes. "And I'm obviously not good enough to deal with it, because when I tried to take care of my dad, I almost killed my own goddamn self!"

The first few tears slipped down my cheeks.

"Don't you fucking cry for me!" Brian yelled, and in the next instant, Jimmy had yanked me hard to the right. The sound of glass shattering rent the air and something wet hit my face. It took me a second to realize Brian had thrown his JD bottle at me.

Brian was now curled on his side, facing Zacky. Instinctively, I knew he was crying and didn't want us to see.

"C'mon," Matt urged softly, ushering me towards the door.

"What happened, Matt?" I inquired once we were downstairs.

Matt sighed. "It's not my place..."

I started to protest, and Matt held up a hand to silence me. "But you deserve to know. The phone call Brian got just before Zacky's challenge...that was Brent letting Brian know that his mom left."

"Oh, my God."

"That's why he shouted at you about your perfect family." Matt walked into the living room and sank onto the sofa. "His dad has been having a really hard time dealing with it, and Brent just fucking went somewhere. Last night, Brian's dad called him and asked him to come pick him up at Johnny's. He'd had too much to drink and couldn't get himself home. Brian had been drinking, too, but he couldn't just leave his dad at the bar, so he went to get him." Matt pointed up. "That's the result."

"Is his dad okay?" I queried.

Matt nodded. "Yeah. He's fine. He's sleeping off a hangover right now."

I plopped down on the sofa next to Matt. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

Matt shrugged. “I don’t know. His parents fought the entire time we were here for Christmas. But I guess he didn’t want to talk about it. He internalizes things.”

“That’s healthy,” I drawled sarcastically.

“It’s what guys do. We don’t do that emotional ‘talking about it’ bullshit.”

I shot him a glare. “Maybe you should. You know what happens when you keep everything inside? Eventually, you can’t take it anymore, and you act out. What if he’d tried to kill himself?”

“Brian would never do something like that.”

“How do you know? Brian would never do anything to physically harm a woman, either, but he just hurled a Jack Daniel’s bottle at my fucking face!”

“We’re here for him. He has his rages, but he’d never hurt himself.”

“Just everyone around him.”

Matt wouldn’t look at me. “Something like that.”

Fury flooded my veins. It was bullshit. I didn’t care how much I liked Brian; I was disgusted by what he was doing to his friends. I was on my feet in a flash and up the stairs. Zacky, Jimmy, Johnny, and Brian looked up when I stomped into the room.

“Brian, you are a selfish fucking bastard! I don’t give a damn what you think of me, but these guys are like family to you! Instead of throwing tantrums like a fucking two-year-old, why don’t you try talking to them?”

He stared at me, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“And I care about you,” I said in a low voice, knowing he would hear me in the complete and total silence that had filled the room. “I wish I’d known…I wish I’d been able to help.”

“You still would’ve chosen them!” Brian accused.

“You’re probably right,” I admitted. “But I didn’t choose them because I don’t care about you. I chose them because I forgot what was important.” I looked him straight in the eyes, seeing a clarity there that meant my words were sinking in. “I’m so sorry, Brian. I never meant to hurt you.”

He held my gaze for several more seconds, then looked away. Zacky gave me a small smile and a thumbs-up while Brian wasn’t looking. It soon became obvious Brian wasn’t going to speak to me again.

“Bye, guys,” I murmured, and went back downstairs.

Matt was waiting at the front door, keys in his hand. “Did you do what needed to be done?”

I nodded. He opened the door for me, and I walked out. Now the ball was back in Brian’s court.