Breaking Their Hold

I had to work on Saturday. I worked at the Books-A-Million in Decatur. I'd been working there for almost two years now, and never had I been so thankful for my job. It gave me the perfect excuse not to answer my cell. Tyler sent me a text telling me to call him on my lunch break. I messaged him back with the lie that I wasn't working enough hours to get my usual thirty minute lunch break, so I wouldn't have time for anything but eating.

Then give me a call when you get off, he urged.

Can't. And I told my second lie of the day--I'm going out with some co-workers this afternoon. I don't know when we'll be back.

Okay, he replied. Have fun and call me tonight if you get the chance.

I sighed and shoved my cell in my pocket. I was up front at the register for the day. I loved being cashier during the morning shift on Saturdays. Most people who came in this early didn't care about books; they only wanted coffee. With most of the customers in the cafe, I could sit around and daydream.

Today, my mind was on Matt. Being cornered in the bathroom at the club hadn't necessarily been a bad thing. Brian and Zacky both looked better, but Matt was definitely easy on the eyes, too. I couldn't pretend having him against me hadn't made it a little hard to breathe.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. I couldn't believe I was actually becoming attracted to a group of freaks.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise. I jumped and my eyes flew open. Zacky stood in front of me, having just dropped a book on the counter. "Poor thing," he commented as I scanned the barcode on his book (a collection of short stories by H.P. Lovecraft). "Is your brain hurting?"

I gritted my teeth. "Your total is $15.16."

"I mean, I can understand how a menial job like this would seem difficult to someone like you," he said, tossing a twenty onto the counter.

I snatched up the bill, placed it in the register, and counted out his change. I slammed the register shut with unnecessary force. Zacky smirked, obviously pleased that he was getting to me. "I thought cheerleaders were supposed to be peppy all the time. Don't I get a smile?"

I pursed my lips. "Hell. No. Have a good day."

Chuckling, he picked up his book and strode out of the store. I swallowed so hard that it hurt. My pulse was racing, and it wasn't just anger flooding my veins.

I got off work at two. I went straight home and curled up, watching a "Boy Meets World" marathon. I didn't call Tyler.

I worked Sunday, too. Zacky didn't show up again, but Tyler did. He took me to lunch and I let him ramble on about football, contributing only enough to keep him talking.

Jaimi and Tori came over that night. I told them all about my date with Tyler, leaving out the encounter with Matt. Afterwards, we chatted about all the typical things: boys, clothes, boys, shoes, boys, makeup, boys, and cheerleading. When Tori brought up the new guys, I said I was tired. Jaimi and Tori left.

I climbed into bed. I knew I needed to go along with Tyler's belief that we were a couple now. However, I couldn't deny that I felt a certain anticipation at the thought of seeing Brian, Matt, Zacky, Johnny, and Jimmy.

*****

The next couple of weeks steadied me slightly. Tyler was acting as though we were a couple now, and I wasn't going to correct him. I was the captain of the cheerleading squad. I was supposed to be with someone like Tyler. I didn't know what I'd been thinking since the first day of school. There was no way I could have a crush on guys like Matt, Brian, Johnny, Jimmy, and Zacky.

The new guys weren't even acknowledging my existence, so my life was back on track---the way I'd dreamed my senior year would be since I was fourteen. I was a popular cheerleader, dating the star quarterback and captain of the football team.

So then, why wasn't I perfectly content? Why did the new guys haunt my dreams? Why did I find myself admiring Brian's perfect skin or Zacky's emerald eyes when no one else was paying attention?

The week of Homecoming came, and Tyler and I were thrust into the limelight. I was nominated for Homecoming queen; he was up for king. This increased focus seemed to remind Zacky of my existence. Only Zacky, not the other new guys.

The Thursday before Homecoming was hell. Zacky couldn't resist making a snide remark every time he passed me in the halls. By the end of the day, I was ready to strangle him. The final bell rang and I stalked out of the gym, seething.

Someone slammed into me at the edge of the parking lot. "Oops," Zacky said sneeringly. "I would apologize, but I have better things to do than wait on you to chip away the ice around your cold, dead heart and decide to forgive me."

I stared at him, hands clenched into fists. I hated him, but I couldn't help noticing how green his eyes were and the pale perfection of his skin.

"See ya, Princess." He walked over to where his friends were waiting around a black car.

I started for my car with Matt and Jimmy watching me. Tyler called that night to finalize our plans for the next night. Homecoming was the third biggest event of senior year, behind Prom and graduation.

Tyler picked me up at five. We met Jaimi, Tori, Sam, and Evan at Steak -N- Shake for dinner, then we all went to the school. Evan and Tyler had to get ready for the game. Jaimi and I took our dresses to the locker room. We were both in the Homecoming court and were going to leave the sidelines early to change for the Homecoming festivities that would take place during half-time.

At half-time, Danville was ahead 10-3.

"Fuck!" I swore, digging through the bag that held all the accessories that went with my dress.

"What?" Jaimi asked, touching up her lipgloss.

"I left my shoes in Tyler's car," I told her. "I've gotta go get them."

"You'd better hurry," she commented.

I flipped open my cell and punched in Tyler's number. "Yeah, baby?" he answered.

"I need your keys," I said. "The shoes that match my dress are in your truck."

"It's unlocked."

"Okay." I hung up and practically ran out of the gym, to the parking lot. I retrieved the pale yellow open-toed sandals with 3-inch heels.

"Wow," someone said as I was slipping them on, making me jump. I looked up. Zacky was leaning against a nearby car, smoking a cigarette. He ran his eyes over my strapless dress. It was the same shade of yellow as the shoes and fell to a point just above my knees. "You look hot for an ice princess." His gaze returned to my face. "Or is that queen now?"

I lifted a shoulder. "I don't know yet."

"You'll win," he stated, pitching away his cigarette. "You and Tyler are the perfect couple. Mr. and Mrs. All-American. It's disgusting."

A small part of me agreed with him, but I wasn't going to admit that to him. "Whatever. I've gotta get back."

I reached the gym just in time. The members of the Homecoming court filed out onto the field. Tyler and I were crowned king and queen.

Danville went on to win 24-17. I made Tyler take me home instead of going to the dance, claiming I felt nauseous. He kissed me on the cheek and I made my way inside, Zacky's words playing over and over in my mind