Breaking Their Hold

Friday night came all too soon for me.

Matt had been ignoring me since Monday. Zacky had been even colder than normal, if that was possible. Jimmy, Johnny, and Brian continued their art of pretending I didn't exist. Tori and Jaimi had been discussing party details at every spare moment and telling all the people they considered beneath them to "ignore the notices. You're not invited anyway."

All in all, the week had sucked, and I suspected that the party wouldn't be any better.

I went straight home from school on Friday. I showered quickly and changed into my costume. I was a devil. A slutty devil. In addition to the horns and the tail, the costume consisted of a red leather corset, a pair of tiny red leather shorts, and red leather knee-high boots with 5-inch-high fuck-me heels. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, two strands framing my carefully made-up face. I got a little heavy handed with the eyeliner.

Tori, Jaimi, Evan, and Sam arrived at five o'clock with decorations, a huge sound system, and plenty of alcoholic beverages.

"You brought booze!?" I cried.

Jaimi's look was slightly condescending. "Of course. What kind of party would it be without booze?"

The alcohol was put in the refrigerator. The guys set up the sound system. Tori and Jaimi decorated the first floor and the patio before putting on their costumes. Tori had decided to be a Playboy bunny, and Jaimi was the nurse that starred in every man's wet dreams.

At seven-thirty, people started showing up, including Tyler. By eight o'clock, the party was in full swing. "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eifel 65 was pumping from the sound system and the living room was filled with softball players, volleyball players, and cheerleaders all dressed like whores and dirty dancing together. The baseball, basketball, and football teams were in clusters throughout the house, consuming the alcohol.

I slipped upstairs after about an hour, knowing that no one would notice. I went into my bedroom and shut the door, locking it. Collapsing on my bed, I thought about Matt and Zacky. I was pretty sure I'd hurt them with my words. And Zacky had probably told the others what I'd said. Which meant Brian hated me even more. The thought depressed me.

Why do I care? I asked myself. And I knew the answer.

Suddenly, someone pounded on my door. "Jordan! We have a problem!" It was Tori.

I got up and opened the door. "What?"

"They crashed the party!" Tori announced.

"Who?" I questioned, hoping it would be who I thought it was.

Tori crossed her arms over her chest. "Freaks. I don't know their names."

I descended the staircase quickly.

"Pick your poison!" Johnny was saying to Brian, holding up two different brands of beer.

My jaw dropped. Zacky and Jimmy had taken control of the stereo. Something heavy with a screaming guitar riff was now blasting from the speakers.

Matt emerged from the kitchen with a beer. He was dressed as a vampire. He gave me a grin, showing a flash of fang. "Sorry we're late."

"Did you invite them?" Jaimi demanded, approaching me.

"No," I replied.

Tori glowered at Matt. "You guys had better fucking leave. NOW!"

"Or what?" he shot back.

Tyler, Evan, Sam, and a couple of other jocks stepped forward. "Or we'll make you leave," Tyler threatened.

Matt smirked. "Right."

"There!" Jimmy shouted, distracting everyone. "That is my jam!"

Zacky upped the volume of Pink Floyd's "Young Lust." Jimmy sauntered across the room, to me, and grabbed my wrist. He dragged me to the area that had been designated as the dance floor. I wanted to protest, but the words never made it to my mouth. Jimmy placed his hands on my hips and began moving me to the music. When I didn't resist, he pulled me closer. He pressed his lower body against mine.

"Ooooh, I need a dirty woman," he sang in a low, husky voice. "Ooooh, I need a dirty girl."

I didn't notice anything going on around me. I was too absorbed in the feeling of our bodies touching and the intensity of his blue eyes and the words of the song.

"Jordan!" Jaimi's fingers dug into my upper arm. The pain brought me crashing back to reality, and I jumped away from Jimmy as though his touch burned me.

I looked around. Jaimi and Tori wore disgusted expressions. The majority of the room was still glaring at the new guys. Tyler, however, was glowering at me.

Jimmy winked at me. "Bye, sweetheart."

Matt handed me his empty beer bottle. "See ya on Monday."

Jimmy and Matt led Johnny, Brian, and Zacky to the front door.

"Oh, yeah." Matt paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Jordan."

I glanced at him inquiringly.

"Zacky was wrong," he stated. "I was right about you. You aren't like them." He followed his friends out of my house.

*****

Thanks to Matt's "You aren't like them" comment, I had to endure my friends being pissy and indignant for the next few days.

"What the hell did he mean by that?" Jaimi mused angrily. "And what did you do to make him think you aren't like us?" She gave me a suspicious look.

"She danced with one of them," Tori said. "She showed a moment of weakness, taking pity on a fucking loser."

"I still want to know why they were there," Tyler chimed in.

"Like I told you that night, they were just crashing the party," I said wearily.

"They wanted to see how the better half lives," Sam said smugly, earning a fist pound of agreement from Evan.

I swallowed an irritated sigh. We'd had the same conversation about fifty times in the last three days. I shoved my books in my locker and set off for the gym.

"Jordan!" Tyler stopped me before I could get inside. "It's been two weeks. How long is this break going to last?"

"As long as you keep accusing me of being attracted to those freaks," I shot back.

"Well, you didn't exactly protest when they showed up at the party," Tyler pointed out. "Maybe Matt thinks you're interested because you broke up with me after he interrupted us."

"Whatever! He doesn't know we broke up. He probably didn't know we were together until that day in the gym."

"He knew," Tyler stated. "We're like celebrities, Jordan. They keep up with our every move." He continued on to the gym, leaving me staring after him.

Zacky emerged from the building while I was still standing there. "Ice Princess!" he exclaimed in mock delight.

I closed my eyes. "Zacky, please, not today."

"Aww, what's wrong?" he asked, and he sounded sincere.

I looked at him. "Right, like I'd ever tell you anything."

He held up his hands. "Fair enough. But I have something to say to you. Will you listen?"

Crossing my arms over my chest, I glared at him. I didn't walk away, however, and he took that to mean I'd listen.

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior the last few weeks," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I want to make it up to you. Let me and the guys take you out for a night of relaxation and not having to pretend to be something you're not. You like pool?"

I studied his face. There was no hint of a taunt there, only seriousness. He meant it.

I nodded. "Yeah, I like pool."

"Good. Saturday night, come to JT's on thirty-one. It's just past Windmill Beverages. Be there around…nine-thirty." He pulled a cigarette out of his shirt pocket and a lighter out of his jeans pocket. Humming, he sauntered to the parking lot.

I reached the girls' locker room and realized I was smiling.

*****

It was exactly nine-thirty when I stepped inside the bar. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes assaulted my senses. I peered through the thick haze of smoke and the dim lighting, trying to find Matt, Johnny, Jimmy, Brian, or Zacky. None of them was in sight.

"Hello, sweetheart," came a deep voice. "You lost?"

I glanced in the direction of the voice. An older, heavyset man with a shaved head was leering at me. Two more men with scruffy beards and tobacco-stained teeth were running their eyes slowly over me. The speaker stood.

"You sure are a pretty little thing," he said, approaching me. The other two men clambered to their feet.

I cringed as the speaker touched my hair. All three men chuckled. I closed my eyes, heart pounding.

"Is there a problem here?" someone demanded, and I sensed movement between the three men and myself. "You fellas are acting like you've never seen a lady before."

I looked up. Matt was in front of me. The three men were frowning at him, and he was glaring at them threateningly. I'd never fully appreciated how tall and muscular Matt was.

"No," one of the men said after a long, tense moment. "There's no problem."

"Then you can stop panting like a dog and let her through," Matt snarled.

All three men moved back towards the bar. Matt led me across the room, to a door in the far corner.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Matt rounded on me angrily. "What are you doing here?"

I recoiled, startled by his anger. "Zacky invited me."

His expression changed slightly and he disappeared through the door in the corner. I hurried after him so as not to be alone with the three men again.

The room on the other side of the door was filled with pool tables. Brian and Johnny were in the middle of a game. Zacky and Jimmy were watching and talking quietly to each other. Zacky's green eyes flicked to my face when I walked in.

"Hi, Jordan," he said, a small smile quirking his lips. Jimmy laughed softly.

"You invited her here!?" Matt growled at Zacky.

Zacky widened his eyes innocently. "I didn't invite her anywhere," he lied. "I guess her presence is what I get for mentioning where we'll be to a girl that is stalking Brian."

I flinched. Johnny and Jimmy both glanced at me. Matt narrowed his eyes at Zacky, who was smirking. Brian, however, didn't react at all. He continued to concentrate on taking aim at the cue ball.

My throat and nose burned with tears. I turned to leave.

Zacky pouted mockingly. "Bye, love."

"Drop dead," I snapped, and stormed out of the room.

"Very nice, man," I heard Matt say in an unfriendly tone to Zacky. "Jordan!" Matt came after me. He caught up to me in the parking lot. "Ignore Zacky," he advised. "Brian does."

"You know what pisses me off the most?" I said, hating my voice for shaking.

"What?" Matt asked.

"Zacky treats me the way my friends treat y'all," I replied, unlocking my car. "And I never did a damn thing to him. Why can't he get his revenge on them? Why is he—" I broke off, fighting tears.

"You're a cheerleader," Matt said. "People like you don't associate with people like us. It's an unwritten law that preps hate freaks."

"And you don't think it can change?" I inquired.

Matt shrugged, saying nothing.

"Then y'all are just as bad as my friends," I stated. I climbed into my car, twisted the key in the ignition, and peeled out of the parking lot.

*****

I practically ran out of Mr. Wilson's classroom on Monday, unable to take Zacky's mocking gaze any longer. A hand closed around my arm before I could reach the sanctity of my locker.

"Matt!" I protested, attempting to twist free. He didn't even look at me. "What the hell—" I started, but stopped when Zacky emerged from the classroom and Matt snatched up a handful of his Misfits tee.

"Matt!" Zacky cried, surprised and angry.

Matt yanked Zacky and me into the empty classroom across the hall. He let go of us and shut the door.

"And your problem is?" Zacky said to Matt.

"You," Matt returned.

"Because I said some mean things to her?" Zacky questioned, tossing a dirty look in my direction.

"Because you're acting like the kind of person that you think she is," Matt shot back.

Zacky crossed his arms over his chest. "I see what this is. Matt, man, she'll never let you hit it, no matter how you defend her and kiss her ass."

"Just fucking apologize," Matt ordered.

"For what?" Zacky asked. "For telling Brian her dirty little secret?"

"Maybe you're just jealous," I said, unable to stay silent any longer.

"So you admit that you like Brian?" Zacky said.

"Those men could've hurt her," Matt cut in.

"Let me save you the trouble of chasing after Brian," Zacky said to me, ignoring Matt. "You don't stand a chance. Brian hates fakes, and he hates preps. You are either one or the other. If you really aren't like those assholes you call friends, then you're doing an admirable impression. And until you're willing to be honest about who you really are instead of faking it for the benefit of your so-called friends, Brian will never even look at you."

Neither Matt nor I tried to stop Zacky as he jerked open the door and walked out.

"He's right," I murmured. "Isn't he?"

"Why don't you?" Matt queried. "Just let everyone see who you really are."

"What would it change?" I said hopelessly, and joined the students in the hallway going to their classes.