Listen to Your Heart

That night we stayed up late cuddling on the couch. We watched a movie and then we talked about when we both noticed that we had feelings for each other. Jake told me that he had noticed that when Mary had died and I was at home a lot; I had shut myself out from the world and that made Jake realise his feelings for me.

The next few months were great. Jake would take me out all the time and we would spend most of our time together either cuddled up on the couch or with our newly formed group. I loved spending all my time with Jake. He always made me feel so special.

After a few months things started to change though. Jake seemed distant and I was going back into my depression. It was only a few weeks until Mary’s birthday, the first one since her death. I was struggling with the idea of not celebrating her birthday with her and the fact that Jake was hardly ever around anymore didn’t help. I decided that night that I would find out why he was acting this way.

When he got home I was in the kitchen making dinner. He came in and told me that he had already eaten and that he was going to bed. I was left to eat dinner by myself. This didn’t put me in a very good mood so when I had finished eating I went straight up to his room and shoved open the door. He instantly looked at me with wide eyes, obviously shocked at what I had just done. I was ready to give him a piece of my mind, when I noticed tears coming out of his eyes. I walked up to him and held him in my arms. He just sobbed into my shoulder.

“Jake, what happened?”

“It’s my brother, Sam, he….hhhe killed himself.”

Shock was written all over my face. I had not expected that. Now I understood why he was so distant. He didn’t want to get me involved while I was suffering through Mary’s death yet he was not strong enough to be there for me while he was dealing with his brother’s death. I climbed into his bed and we just hugged each other and cried until we fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning with Jake’s arms wrapped around me. I looked up at him and noticed he was wide awake.
“How long have you been awake for?” I asked him while smiling.
“About an hour or so, I haven’t really been counting.”
“You should have gone and gotten some breakfast, you didn’t have to stay here.”
“I would much rather watch you sleep than eat breakfast. You are so cute when you sleep.” I giggled and hugged him tighter. We sat there for a few more minutes before we decided to go downstairs to grab a bit to eat before we got ready for work.
For the next few months Jake and I were there for each other as we were both dealing with the loss of a loved one. We grew closer because of this; as the months went on I found myself growing more and more in love with Jake.
It was now about Christmas time and I was struggling with ideas for what I could get Jake. I knew lots of little things that he wanted but nothing that was quite good enough to show him how much he meant to me.
“Hey babe, what are we gonna do for Christmas?” I heard Jake call from the living room breaking me from my trance.
“I don’t know. This is the first Christmas I have ever spent away from my family. What do you think we should do?” I yelled back.
“Well I thought I’d surprise you with something, you know like spend the day together, something romantic, all that jazz.” He said while taking his place next to me on the couch.
“That would be amazing but you really don’t have to, just spending the day with you would be alright.” I replied as I cuddled up into his arms.