Yesterday

They used to say how everything can’t change in one day. They used to say you can’t pray for yesterday, that you can’t pray for the past. But they had not lived my life nor have they walked in my shoes.

I had learned to believe in yesterday and the hopes that it brought me. But she walked out of my life in the same manner that the birds migrate ever year. All of her stuff was packed, but I didn’t see it. She left, moved on to a better place she told me but she didn’t know that I was the best place for her.

She left with a simple note, she left me with two simple lines, scribbled down in her neat script:

I don’t love you today as much a I did yesterday,
And tomorrow I won’t love you at all.

I should have known that you can’t contain a free bird, a girl that is connected to the heavens and to the earth, a girl that lived on her own tune and walked her own line, a line that was far from anyone else’s.

I had learned to believe in yesterday.

To believe that love was easier to handle yesterday. I was able to give my heart to her, to any woman, but today she left me scared.

I should have seen it coming, should have seen how distanced she was from me.

I had asked her many times if something was wrong, but she shook her head and gave me the smile that melted me from my toes up to my head. She made everything easy, she made the game of love simple and exciting, she made me want to love.

But now I’m stuck, in a flat for two, looking at the blackbirds perched on my windowsill, reminding me of the gloom. In that moment I knew everything, I understood it all and I seen my life being one-way. I knew how I was going to continue living.

I will walk a straight line to yesterday every day, until I find her again.