Love Will Find a Way Even If We Are Too Far Apart

As I closed my eyes and tried not to think that what we did was forbidden a slight knock in the door let me know that he was here, the door open slowly letting the cold air of the hallway come in, as his body slice into the bed next to mine his scent filled me and remind me why I loved being with him.
His lips founded mine brushing them slightly as my hands entangled in his beloved hair , his mouth slowly moved over my ear leaving a trace of kisses on its way , and he whispered, -I’ve been waiting for this moment a long time- I smiled, I turned his face to me, so he’ll kiss me again , always starting slow but getting more passionate by the minute , my body hold on to his so strong, as if I didn’t want him to leave me never, and maybe it was like that I loved this man, but I couldn’t be with him as I wanted.

My thoughts were interrupted by his sweet voice – is something wrong? - He looked at me confused, -no is just… nothing- I said as I kissed his neck slowly, sometimes it was harder for me not to break down at the thought of him being gone by the morning but even if it was just a few hours they were worth the pain I’ll feel once he’s gone.
I closed my eyes and let my feelings guide me.
I woke up between the white sheets of my bed, my body leaning in his, he was still sleeping peacefully, I starred at his perfect face that was lightened by the early sun rays, and he opened his eyes slowly and looked at me with a silly smile and curious look.
-Good morning! - he said as his body moved right on top of mine, he kissed me softly, for what it felt like an eternity, but never long enough to stop him from saying what I was fearing, -I’ve got to go, it’s getting late- as he made my hands slipped out of his neck and got up to pick up his clothes I stayed there, speechless, there was no objection nothing I could say to make him stay by my side,.
-Robert- I called him trying to hide the sadness behind my words, -I love you and I want you to be by my side… always-
-I love you too , but I can’t stay with you, not know- he said as he kissed my cheek, and get out, and I stayed there sitting in my bed missing him to death I couldn’t help it but to feel used by him every time he left.
The days went by boring, and between school and work I didn’t have time to re-open my wounds , I was waiting sitting in the couch of my best friend Isabella, I meet her when I was 15 and my father send me to study to a boarding school in London.
The TV was talking but all I heard was noise until my mind heard something I wasn’t prepared for, -in movies news, Robert Pattinson better known as Edward Cullen from the twilight saga has been spotted with his co-star Kristen Stewart several times, the rumor is they are dating, to this Kristen responds, Rob and I are just friends but you can’t deny the chemistry…”-
I turned the TV off trying to hold the tears, that can’t be truth he swore to me they weren’t dating and that I was the only one.
My gaze was frozen and my heart crushed I still couldn’t how he could have done that to me
I couldn’t believe that, that sweet kid I meet on London would turn my world over and then leave me alone, like this,
-Are you ok? - Isabella asked, as she sat down next to me, -yes, let’s go, it’s getting late – she looked at me doubtful and her hand stopped me, -what is it? Tell me what did Robert did to you this time?, I knew that idiot will hurt you- she said as she dried my tears, she was the only one that knew about us and even though she didn’t approve the relationship, she was supportive.
-is just that, I saw the news and they say Rob and Kristen are dating, and he swore he wasn’t and he told me it was just me and him, and I believe him- and yeas I did, even though there was distance I knew he loved me and I knew it would be me and him.
-oh my god Claire, look I know you don’t want to hear his, but as a friend I’m supposed to tell you he’s not the right thing for you, he’s just using you, and it’s not fair, you are not his toy- she said as she got up and called the guys to tell them, we weren’t going.
-you know- I told her now calm, -sometimes I feel like I can’t do it, like, the pain is just too much for me to handle, and every morning when I wake up, I wish he was there by my side and when he is I just want him to say he’ll stay, I know I can’t be without him, even if he hurts me he is the one I love – I'm my mind where all those memories of us, and all the times he left me like this, just wanting to shout to the world how much I loved him .
My phone rang and ironically it was Rob, -hello- I answered as calmed as I could, -hey love, are you home?-, -no, I’m at Isabella’s, why?-. He hesitated –I need to talk to you, it’s really important, can I see you home tonight? - My heart sank, I was trying to keep it positive but I knew this was bad.
-Sure I’ll see you there in 30 min. - maybe my voice was shaky because he hesitated one again. –Ok see you there, take care- and he hung up.
-what did he wanted now- Isabella said a bit upset, - he wants us to met in my house, probably is to talk about this I’m sure he’s got an explanation- I told her, trying to sound positive, she looked at me and hugged me once again.
--I don’t know Claire, I feel this is not good, but just so you’ll know I’ll never forgive him if he hurts you, never…-
-let’s be positive, I know he loves me and he’ll never do anything like that to me-, she looked at me confused, -I hope so or else I will kick his ass ok?-, -ok, I got to go , love you- and she waved goodbye.
While I drive home, I feared the worst; my heart couldn’t help it but to feel I was driving straight to my own end.
I got to the apartment and he was there sitting on the couch quiet, I sited right next to him and he looked at me obviously nervous,
-Hey-, -hello, love-, his gaze avoided mine -well you know , we’ve been doing this for a long time and I really like you but..-, I looked deep In to his eyes, -but what, is something wrong?-, I knew something was wrong and this was probably the end, -this, this is what is wrong, is not that I don’t like you, but what if something goes wrong, what if we get caught? –
-so you are saying, this is the end?-, my heart broke in a million pieces, and I had no words to describe my feelings, -don’t get me wrong is just that this is not right, not for me, I loved you but I can’t keep going, not like this-, I couldn’t believe it the love of my life was leaving me with just a “this is not right” phrase.
-I'm sorry Claire, I never meant to hurt you, I'm just asking you to understand, I want us to be friends, so if it’s not much to ask the cast is throwing a party next week and I will love to see you there, can you do that for me?-
He got up, -sure I’ll be there and I understand no hard feelings- he kissed my cheek and got out of the apartment. I couldn’t believe what just happened?, was it my mistake?, how couldn’t I see this coming?, ever since I met him my life hasn’t been the same, and now having to live without him was jus impossible.