Just the Way You Are

“Evangeline, get up, you’ll be late for school.” Darla spoke to her daughter through her white door, soon walking away to get herself ready for work. “Don’t make me come back here in five more minutes.”

The girl groaned from being tired and also from slight annoyance; she hated it when her mom called her by her full name. She just never got the hint that Eve was good enough—if not, better—than saying her full name.

Nevertheless, Eve got up and stretched in her bed, soon getting out and traveling towards her closet. She walked in and began to look through her shelves of clothes. She picked out a Linkin Park band tee and some faded jeans, walking into her room and grabbing a bra and panties as she made her way down the hall and into the bathroom for a quick shower.

She exited the shower with a towel around her torso and dried herself off with the cloth. She then began to get dressed, doing her best to ignore the tag on her shirt that read “XXL” and her pants that read “20”. Even though she didn’t see them, she was still disgusted with herself.

She hated being this… large. She hated being fat.

She knew that there were people in the world who didn’t care that they were a bit heavy set, and a few who even embraced it, but she definitely wasn’t one of them. She was envious of them, she admired them. She wished that she could be so carefree. She wished that she didn’t care so much about what other people thought about herself. Perhaps she could’ve been though if she wasn’t sentenced to the hell hole, the prison, that made her feel so inferior—high school. She was thankful that today was the second to last day of her confinement, and soon she would be over with her freshmen year.

After getting dressed, she began to comb her hair, not using the blow drier since she decided to let it air dry so it would be naturally wavy. She looked at herself in the mirror once more, and her stomach instantly sucked itself in—it was second nature to her.

She headed down the hallway and walked into the kitchen, making her usual breakfast of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and sitting down at the white, countertop bar. She scooped the food into her mouth and forgot everything that was worrying her before. It all just seemed to evaporate into nothing.

“Good morning, honey,” Her mom called as she walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. She put some toast into the toaster and turned the dial, soon starting it and waiting for it to be done. “How’d you sleep?”

“Alright,” Eve replied, soon spooning more food into her mouth.

Her mom frowned at her lack of a detailed answer, though she was glad Eve hadn’t just replied with a mumble. “Your father called last night. He said that he’d be more than happy to have you over for the summer.” She said, beginning to butter and jam her toast that had just popped up. “His new wife, Joanne, really wants to meet you as well since you couldn’t attend their wedding in Hawaii.”

“Sounds nice,” She mumbled, sighing as she put her bowl into the sink. “I guess I’ll go, I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Great,” Darla smiled enthusiastically. “I’ll tell your father when I get to work. Remember that tonight I’m leaving for my business trip in New York, so pack your things tomorrow night.”

Eve nodded and grabbed her backpack from the living room floor, wished her mom a good day at work, and began the ten minute walk to school.

As Eve entered the gates of La Push High School, she could instantly feel what was left of her self-confidence plummet, becoming soon non-existent. She walked with her head down, telling herself over and over again to not make eye-contact with anyone. She hoped that today would consist of no social interaction with anyone—not even a teacher.

A large shoulder bumped into her own, and she lost all her books that were in her grasp to the concrete floor. She blushed with embarrassment as people began to chatter, whisper and laugh, pointing their fingers at her.

“Oh crap, sorry,” The boy apologized. “Here let me help you.”

She didn’t say anything, hoping he would just walk away and leave her alone—he had done enough already hadn’t he? The boy wouldn’t have it though, and so he began to help Eve pick up her belongings that were scattered messily upon the floor.

The two of them stood up after collecting all the items and Eve began to make them organized again. She was still cherry red, and her eyes began to water as people became louder with their gossip and laughter at her.

“Here you go,” he said, handing her the last few of her papers.

“Thanks…” Eve mumbled, looking up to meet his gaze.

Her dark brown eyes connected with his, and something about them made her stop breathing, made everything come to a halt. A spark ignited in her being and stripped everything out of her mind—her worries, her problems, her thoughts—and replaced it all with his image: his cropped black hair, tan skin that was a bit darker than her caramel tone, his large lips that looked irresistible to her, and his large, masculine figure.

A sort of giddiness grew inside of her and she was both worried and happy. She was worried because she knew that the feeling wouldn’t last—she was worried because she knew that she would get too caught up with this boy and get hurt in the end, just like always. And she was happy… well, she didn’t particularly know why she was happy, and that fact alone made her a bit more worried.

All of a sudden, she was brutally shunned back into reality…

“Look at her, thinking she’s got a chance with Black!” One student yelled, causing the rest of them to burst out in laughter.

She took the papers out of his hands and quickly turned, rushing madly up the stairs and out of sight.

“Wait!” The boy called out for her to stop though she didn’t dare.

She didn’t want a bigger commotion to be made… especially over her…

She walked with haste and into the bathroom, making her way into the handicapped stall and leaning up against the wall, just letting her tears cascade down her cheeks freely. From outside she could hear the boy asking where she had gone and she felt angry at him—why was he so persistent? Did he wish to embarrass her further?

The bell rang for class to start and she heard everyone’s footsteps vanish.

“Maybe I should just leave…” She mumbled quietly to herself.

She unlocked the door and quietly made her way out of the stall and into the hallway. The boy stood there leaning up against the wall, patiently waiting for her to leave.

He looked up and smiled warmly once he saw she was out. “Hey,” He greeted her kindly.

She was shocked that he was still there—he’d get in trouble for not being in class. Not only was she shocked, she was a little irritated. She wanted to be alone right now, sulk on her own. She didn’t need someone trying to show her sympathy.

It made her feel all the more vulnerable…

She sighed in annoyance before pushing past the boy, ignoring his presence as he followed her.

“My name’s Jacob.” He introduced, sticking out his hand as they both continued walking, soon retracting it back towards his body when he realized that she wasn’t going to be shaking it. “I heard that your name’s Evangeline—is that right?” She didn’t respond, hoping that he would get the idea to leave her alone—he didn’t.

She didn’t know what she could do. He was persistent, and no matter how much she loved the attention she was getting for once in her life, it was getting on her nerves. She just wished she could turn back into her invisible self and feel safe once again.

“It’s a really pretty name.” He commented.

She wanted to thank him, blush madly, and maybe even chat a little. She wouldn’t though. She remembered what one of her immature classmates had said earlier, and she continued on, walking faster than before.

It’s probably just to make fun of me further, She told herself.

“Is—”

“What do you want?” Eve finally snapped, turning to face him. “I don’t have anything and I certainly don’t look like anything!” Tears began to spill over and down her cheeks, making Jacob feel awful for making her cry. “Just leave me alone and stop trying to act like you care!”

She spun around and began to run down the stairs, Jacob watching her leave with broken, misty eyes. He watched her go down the last flight of stairs, and as another student was passing her, he lightly bumped her shoulder, making her lose her balance and causing her to fall down the last few stairs. His stomach contorted itself into knots and he felt himself tremble with anger. He began to bound down the stairs, jumping a few at a time, and finally was helping Eve to her feet.

“Are you alright?”

“I think I sprained my ankle.” She answered shakily, more tears cascading down as she stood on her own.

Jacob’s head snapped upright when he heard chuckling, the boy who had harmed her was laughing. “The fat ass can’t keep her balance,” He mused through his laughter.

Jacob growled and charged at him, punching him, breaking his nose on contact. Eve gasped at what he had done and soon campus security was trying to get them off of each other.

Eve turned and began to run out of the gates and home, soon limping her way there because her ankle hurt, and also because she didn’t have the stamina to run any further.

As Eve got home, she closed the door behind her and began to sob to herself. She threw her bag onto the living room floor and headed up the stairs and into her room, slamming it with enough force to shake her room’s walls. She collapsed onto the bed and grabbed her black pillows, soaking them with her salty tears as she began to let all her fury, all of her regret, all of her hurt out.

She sat up in bed and looked around her room. Her eyes landed upon a mirror and she looked at herself.

Her naturally wavy hair was frizzy, wild, and sticking out in directions that defied gravity. Some strands were hanging to her chubby, red, tear stained cheeks. She was a tall girl, around 5’10”, and with that long figure came slenderness, however there was none on her. She was curvy in the middle, and not how other teenage girls wanted to be—she was fat.

She rolled back her shoulders and sat up with a straighter posture, but it didn’t help her stomach that still showed itself. She scowled at the mirror, and then let out a few soft sobs before throwing everything within her reach at it.

“Ugly!” She screamed, infuriated at the image before her. “So fucking ugly!”

She threw a hardcover book at the object and a large crack appeared, splitting her up into five different sections. After letting out a shaky sigh, she let her head fall into her palms, beginning to cry about how pitiful she was for attacking a mirror in anger of what it showed her—of how it showed her.

She soon collapsed backwards after her crying fit, and fell asleep to escape the reality she hated.

Darla came home earlier than she usually did to make sure she had everything for her business trip later that night. She walked up the stairs and passed her daughter’s room, seeing the light on from underneath the door. She walked inside to see Eve asleep on her bed, cheeks tearstained, and looking helpless.

She frowned. Seeing her daughter as such broke her heart. Her daughter was beautiful to her, no matter what her appearance looked like. Though, she would always think so because Eve meant the world to her. She knew that once again the bullying had been taken up a notch. No matter how many times she had talked with the principal about the bullying, they never did anything about it. She was just about ready to go to the school board to have the matter heard.

Darla sat next to her daughter and patted her legs a few times to wake her up. “Honey,” She called. “Evangeline, wake up.”

“Mom, it’s just Eve…” She mumbled.

“I know, I know,” Darla rolled her eyes. “So… spill, what happened…?”

Eve sat up with a sigh, not wanting to remember the whole ordeal. After rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she looked at her mom with her red, puffy brown orbs. “I got to school and a guy accidentally bumped into me. He helped me pick up my things and he was… hot so I stared like an idiot, and then someone yelled that I thought I had a ‘chance’ with him.” She said, fiddling with her thumbs. “So then I just ran into the bathroom and he was waiting for me outside even though the bell rang. He told me his name and—”

“Ooh,” Darla grinned giddily. “What was it—maybe he likes you.” She teased.

Eve rolled her eyes, biting down on her tongue so she wouldn’t smile goofily like her mom wanted her to. “Jacob… Black…? I can’t remember…”

“Jacob?” She looked slightly shocked. “Billy’s kid?” Eve wondered how her mom knew him. “Billy’s wife and I used to be friends before she died in the car accident. You’re right, the boy is very clean. I approve.”

“Mom!” She yelled. “He’s not my boyfriend!!”

Darla giggled. “I know, I’m only kidding.”

Eve smiled, happy that her mom could turn her worst days around with no problem at all. “So he followed me from the bathroom and asked all these different questions and I snapped at him.” Eve ran a hand through her wavy hair to get it out of her face before looking at her mom. “Then I ran down the stairs and some boy tripped me—”

“Are you alright, honey?” Darla asked urgently. “What’s his name—do you know? This is serious!”

“Mom, I’m fine, just a few scrapes and a sprained ankle.”

Darla stood up angrily from the bed. “I swear I’m giving that stupid principal of yours and the school board a piece of my mind!” She yelled.

“Don’t you want to know what happened next?” Eve questioned casually, knowing that her mom would forget about what she was saying before.

Just as predicted, Darla didn’t speak and simply plopped back down onto the bed. “What else happened?”

“Jacob ran down the stairs, helped me up and gave the boy a bloody nose.” Eve answered. “That’s when I left and came home.”

“Aw, your boyfriend is sticking up for you. I definitely approve.” She smiled.

“Mom!!”

“I know, I know,” Darla laughed, pulling Eve into a one armed hug, kissing the top of her head lovingly. “How are your grades?”

“A’s, why do you ask?”

“I’ll go ahead and call your father right now.” She sighed. “You’ll be on the next plane out of here tonight, so start packing. Missing the last day of school isn’t the end of the world.”

“Really?” Eve’s mouth was agape.

“Yes, you don’t deserve to go through another day of hell. Start packing and I’ll buy you your plane ticket.”

“Thank you, thank you!” Eve yelled, engulfing her mom joyfully.

Darla nodded. “Just start packing so you’re ready.”

Eve didn’t need to be told twice as she got out her largest luggage bag and began to fill it with articles of clothing.

She couldn’t wait to get away.