Losing Lori
; Sixteen
I know it sounds pretty low and depressing, but I cry over you.
I haven't mentioned that yet, have I? I don't think so. But I do, Lori. I've shed many, many tears over you. Missing you, loving you, wanting you back. It's all the same to me. It's all I think about and then some. I want to kill myself for focusing on you as much as I do, but I can't help it.
I wonder if things would be different, if it had been another girl. If she'd left me the way you did. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten so attached to someone else, I don't know. It's hard to tell when you're thinking with your heart instead of your head. Quite idiotic, if you ask me.
I hope one day, you show up at my door with tears streaming down your face. I hope you tell me that you're in love, that you miss me, that you're sorry. It was all a mistake and you want me to take you back. How could you ever forgive me, Oliver?
I can hear it in my head now and it's gut-wrenching, your voice pleading with me, as if you had to. As if I'm not always going to be at your beck and call. As if I'm not your own personal servant.
This is Karma, Lori. You treated me like this because of the way I treated people before you. It's not fun, payback. It's not fun at all. God likes to play games, just like you do. Except no one wins. I've come to accept that.
Or at least, I'm trying to.
I haven't mentioned that yet, have I? I don't think so. But I do, Lori. I've shed many, many tears over you. Missing you, loving you, wanting you back. It's all the same to me. It's all I think about and then some. I want to kill myself for focusing on you as much as I do, but I can't help it.
I wonder if things would be different, if it had been another girl. If she'd left me the way you did. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten so attached to someone else, I don't know. It's hard to tell when you're thinking with your heart instead of your head. Quite idiotic, if you ask me.
I hope one day, you show up at my door with tears streaming down your face. I hope you tell me that you're in love, that you miss me, that you're sorry. It was all a mistake and you want me to take you back. How could you ever forgive me, Oliver?
I can hear it in my head now and it's gut-wrenching, your voice pleading with me, as if you had to. As if I'm not always going to be at your beck and call. As if I'm not your own personal servant.
This is Karma, Lori. You treated me like this because of the way I treated people before you. It's not fun, payback. It's not fun at all. God likes to play games, just like you do. Except no one wins. I've come to accept that.
Or at least, I'm trying to.
♠ ♠ ♠
One more chapter after this, guys. One more, one more. I thought this was vital too, to show that even though it sort of seems like he's too angry to cry when he's sad, that he does.
Please, even if you haven't commented, try to do so on these last couple updates. It'd mean a lot. BehindTheMusic, I'd like to thank you first of all because I think you've commented on every single one and you're amazing. You're the person I think of off the top of my head when I think of constant commenters as well as fun ghoul. <3 Thanks.
Anyways, toodles.
Please, even if you haven't commented, try to do so on these last couple updates. It'd mean a lot. BehindTheMusic, I'd like to thank you first of all because I think you've commented on every single one and you're amazing. You're the person I think of off the top of my head when I think of constant commenters as well as fun ghoul. <3 Thanks.
Anyways, toodles.