She's the Drug That I Need

After being unable to sleep through most of the night, Sarah had gotten up early and had spent the morning doing house work. Cleaning, baking, anything to keep herself busy; to take her mind off seeing Brian again.

Despite the phone calls, voicemails and text messages from him, she hadn’t seen or spoken to him since leaving his hotel room and had even made an excuse not to be around when he came to spend time with Jenni, avoiding him for a week and a half. As much as she’d tried to get out of seeing him again when he came to see Jenni, Seth was starting to get suspicious.

Placing the tray of cup cakes into the oven, she set the timer before checking if the first batch were ready to decorate. As she moved them onto counter next to the icing, the sounds of Jenni’s excited cries drew her attention to a knock at the door.

“Daddy’s here!” Jenni called again running into the kitchen briefly.

Sarah took a deep breath, expelling the air slowly as she made her way over to the front door which Jenni was trying her best to open.

“Okay sweetie, I’ve got it.” she said, her voice shaking as she approached the door and twisting the lock to open it.

“Daddy!” she yelled as Sarah pulled the door open, leaping up into her arms.

“Hey princess, look who I brought to play.” He said, stepping through the door, McKenna by his side with a box labelled “Jenni” in her small arms.

“Kenna!” she squealed wriggling out of her fathers arms.

“Hey Jenni, I found some more toys for you if you want them.” She said with a smile.

“Yes please!” Jenni replied, her eyes widening.

“Say thank you.” Sarah said quietly with a stern tone as she, kept her eyes on the two young girls not wanting to lift her gaze to meet Brian’s which she could feel burning her.

“Fank you.” she said excitedly.

“Do you want to go play?” McKenna asked, Jenni nodding enthusiastically, showing her young auntie through to her play room.

Sarah watched them leave the room, her heart racing as she finally closed the front door, still unable to look at Brian. Without a word she turned and walked back towards the kitchen.

“So are you going to talk to me?” Brian asked following her.

“Of course.” She replied not turning to look at him. “Would you like a cup cake? They’re fresh, I could even ice it first if you want.” She was rambling. Nervous. She still hadn’t met his gaze.
“I’ve got vanilla or plain too.”

“No, I don’t want a cupcake.” Brian said in a small growl as he stepped around the counter next to her.

“Okay. A beer? Water?” she muttered.

“No!” he raised his voice slightly “Look at me Sarah.”

Slowly, she lifted her gaze, her eyes finding his deep brown ones. They were filled with emotion. Anger, affection, lust, hope…

“What do you want from me Brian?” she asked quietly, her heart racing in her chest as his expression softened slightly.

“You.” he replied quietly stepping closer to her. “Just you.”

She sighed, “I can’t give you me Brian. you know that.” she replied. She’d gone from being unable to meet his gaze to being unable to draw herself away from his chocolate orbs.

“You didn’t seem to have too much of a problem in Vegas.” He said, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“I was drunk.” She replied quickly, “I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Don’t lie Sarah, you’re not that good an actress. You knew what you were doing and you enjoyed it, just like you always did.” He replied, a full smirk now in place on his thin lips.

Her breath hitched in her throat, her first instinct being to wipe the smirk off his lips with hers. Of course he was right, that had been no act in that hotel, she had enjoyed every moment of her time with Brian in Vegas. He had brought every inch of her body to life, just as he had done so many times before her departure from Huntington Beach. She hadn’t felt like that for so long, not even with Seth. Seth. The man she loved and was going to marry. She pressed her hands against his chest, almost losing her focus at the feel of his muscles tensing at her touch, but pushed him away. “I love Seth, Brian. What happened in Vegas was a mistake.”

Brian sighed, taking a small step backwards, his eyes roaming her body before he stepped closer to her again, his hands gently cupping her cheeks as he looked deep into her eyes. “I don’t believe you.” he whispered softly before pressing his lips to hers.

Closing her eyes she held back a moan, as he pressed soft yet dominant kisses to her lips. “Brian, I...”

“Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you love him and I’ll stop.” He murmured against her skin, his hands travelling down her slender body until they reached her hips where they pulled her closer to him.

“I…” she began wanting to push him away.

“Just say the words and I’ll stop.” He said, his lips moving to her neck, sucking softly. She moaned again, her head tilted back to allow him more room to work as she closed her eyes. Her hands came up to his thick black hair, her fingers threading through it.

He pulled her closer, allowing his hard member to press against her, bringing her to her senses. “Brian, no, we can’t do this.” she said bringing her hands down to his chest again and pushing him further back. “I love Seth. I really do and I’m going to marry him in two weeks time.”

Her heart strings pulled as she looked up at the heartbreaking look in his eyes. “I’m sorry Brian.” she whispered as he shook his head.

“I’m not giving up on you Sarah. I love you and I want the three of us to be together.” he replied quietly staring longingly into her eyes.

“Brian, please.” She started with an exasperated sigh. “Don’t do this. It’s not going to change the way I feel. I’m going to marry Seth. I love him not you.”

Brian sighed once more, “Answer me this one thing, if I had dumped Michelle sooner, told you how I’d felt back then…would you have stuck around? Would you have returned my love?”

She sighed, torn between lying to him and telling the truth. Either answer could break his heart more or give him false hope.

“Does it matter? Even if I did love you then, things have changed, I love Seth now.” she replied.

“That’s a yes isn’t it? You did love me? Fuck!” he muttered angrily, running a hand through his hair. Sarah watched him, seeing the agony in his brown eyes.

She stepped forward, placing a hand on his tattooed arm, “I truly am sorry Brian.”

She gasped lightly as his hand shot up and wrapped around her wrist. “Then follow your heart, not your head,” he said quietly, lifting her hand up to her lips, kissing it softly, sending goose bumps over her body.

“I can’t.” she whispered, pulling her hand away from his abruptly as the sound of Jenni and McKenna giggling filtered though, followed by their footsteps as they rushed into the kitchen.

“Mommy, Daddy, Look.” Jenni cheered loudly waving a Barbie doll at them.

“Oh wow.” They both cheered as Brian pulled her up into his arms.

“Would you two like to help decorate these cup cakes with us?” Sarah asked, pulling her gaze from Brian.

“Yes please.” McKenna replied eyeing them up.

“We put sprinkles on them?” Jenni asked “And eat them after?”

“Yeah baby, once we’ve decorated them, we can have a little tea party together okay.” she replied.

“In the garden?” she asked, Sarah nodding as Brian set her down on one of the chairs.

“I don’t see why not.” she replied with a smile, her eyes drifting briefly back over to Brian.

Was she sure about this decision? Did she really want to spend the rest of her life with Seth? Wouldn’t it be best for Jenni if she and Brian were together properly? Or would it just confuse her?

What was she thinking? She loved Seth. Seth. Seth!