She's the Drug That I Need

Brian had kept to his word. He hadn’t given up on Sarah. He loved her; he’d spent over three years loving her, searching for her, and now that he had found her he wasn’t going to let her slip through his fingers again. There was a part of him that knew that she felt the same way, despite of what she said and that she was marrying Seth.

Every time he had gone to collect, or spend time with Jenni he had tried to get Sarah on her own, wanting to let her know that he loved her and wanting her to admit that she had feelings for him too. He could see it in her eyes, but she held firm. She insisted that she loved Seth, not him.

He rolled onto his back, the fingers of his right hand rubbing his tired eyes. He had barely had any sleep the past night, his mind full of the day’s events. Sarah would be getting married in just a few hours and Brian hadn’t given up hope yet. Arrangements had been made for him to be at the reception party so that he could collect Jenni who would be spending the week with him while Seth and Sarah were on honeymoon. However Brian wasn’t planning on letting it get that far.

Sighing, he pushed himself up and out of the bed. He showered and got dressed, his stomach not in any state for food. Instead he had a small shot of Scotch to settle his nerves before grabbing his keys and heading out to his black BMW and heading out onto the road that led to Laguna Beach.

Pulling up across the street from the house, Brian knew that he didn’t have much time. If he wanted to get Sarah on her own to talk to her, he would have to do it soon, before her house became a carnival wedding activity.

He made his way quickly to the front door, knocking loudly, running through his actions in his mind as he listened to the soft footsteps that drew closer to the door.

“Brian? What the fuck are you doing here so early?”

He smiled, taking in her appearance, even with bed hair and no make up she looked fucking beautiful.

“You didn’t think that I’d give up just because it’s your wedding day did you?” he said with a smile, stepping inside the house before she had the chance to protest.

“Brian, how many more times?” she began closing the door behind him, watching as he walked further into the house. “I love Seth. I’m marrying Seth.”

He turned, stepping closer to her, finding her eyes, “Maybe if I could really believe that you meant it it’d let it go. But I can see it in your eyes. I can see that you love me too.”

She closed her eyes blocking his gaze. As she felt his lips against hers, she found herself melting at his touch, a soft moan escaping her lips. Encouraged by her response, his hands found her hips as he walked them backwards. As her back hit the wall Sarah gave out another moan, her lips parting to allow his tongue to slip over hers.

Feeling his pants tighten, Brian pulled at the hem of the night shirt she wore, pushing it up her body before tugging at the thin panties she was wearing underneath, slipping them down her slender legs. She stepped out of them, lifting her legs so that they were wrapped around Brian’s waist.

He fumbled with undoing his pants, his erection springing free as he pushed them down his legs. She gasped loudly as he pushed his length into her, thrusting into her with a groan as his lips left hers, her hands threading through his black hair.

Her walls clamped around him, a cry of pleasure escaping her as he growled lightly against her neck, shuddering as he spilt inside her. “I love you Sarah.” He mumbled against her skin, kissing her neck as he held her steady to allow them to catch their breath.

The words caught in her throat, part of her wanting to speak them aloud, the other part of her confused as to why they were there. Did she really love him?

She shook the thought from her head, gently pushing him away from her, fighting back a moan as he slid out of her. “I’m sorry Brian, but this doesn’t change anything.”

With a growl, Brian tugged his boxers and pants back up, “Are you seriously fucking telling me that there is nothing between us. Even after Vegas? This?”

Pulling her own panties back on, Sarah sighed, “It’s not that easy Brian. I truly love Seth.”

“Bullshit.” Brian retorted. “Of course it’s easy. If you truly loved him you wouldn’t have fucked me!”

“This has been a mistake Brian!” she yelled taken aback by how abrupt he was being suddenly. He had confronted her about her feelings for him frequently over the past couple of weeks, but his words had always been softly spoken, attempting to coax her to see things her way.

“Bullshit!” he repeated. “Once is a mistake. But twice? No, you knew what you were doing, you were happy to fuck me…both times.”

“I’m marrying Seth Brian. I am.” She began “I love him and he loves me. You need to accept this and forget about your feelings about me before it get’s in the way of you being a father to Jenni!”

“Don’t you dare try and stop me seeing her! I’ve missed out on too much of her life already!” he growled.

Sarah sighed. “That’s not what I meant Brian. I would never do that to you, I want you in her life. But I can’t go on with you being like this.”

Brian opened his mouth to say something else, but stopped at the sound of a door opening upstairs.

“You better go. Before she see’s you.” Sarah said quietly.

Brian nodded before turning and quietly leaving.

Slamming to door of his BMW closed behind him, he slammed his fists against the rim of the steering wheel. Had he just blown it? Was that going to be the last chance he’d get to be with her the way he wanted?

If he had believed what Sarah had said about loving Seth and what had happened between them being a mistake, then maybe he would have been able to forget about it. Just concentrate on being a father to Jenni. But he didn’t believe her. In the years that they had fooled around together, he’d gotten to know her well. He knew when she was lying, when she was hiding something.

With a sigh, Brian started the car. He needed to clear his head.

****

From across the street, Brian watched the guests arrive at the church. As he watched Seth and the grooms men get out of their expensive cars he still wasn’t sure what he was going to do. He stayed in his car for a little while longer before deciding to make his way over to the church. His heart raced as he walked into the old building, stopping at the sound of Seth’s voice.

“I can’t wait man, I love her so much.”

Brian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Was he really going to try and stop this wedding? Hearing Seth declare his love for Sarah made him think. They loved each other.
He was about to turn and leave when the priest rushed passed him, whispering to Seth to take his place at the alter as the bride had arrived and was ready for the ceremony to start. With a sigh, Brian slipped into one of the pews near then back, hoping that he would be out of sight.

As he heard the traditional bridal march began to play and the church door swing quietly open, he couldn’t help but steal a glance around, his eyes lighting up as he saw Jenni begin to walk down the aisle ahead of the other bridesmaids. Then he felt as if his heart stopped beating. She looked amazing. Breathtaking. He’d never seen anyone look so beautiful.

Suddenly as she nervously glanced around the full church, her eyes met his, a hint of panic hitting her until she saw the smile on his face. She smiled back briefly as he sent a small nod in her direction, watching as she continued her way towards Seth who was beaming with love and pride.

Sarah tried to concentrate on her steps, feeling everyone’s eyes on her, Brian’s gaze being the most prominent. What was he doing here? Was he planning to stand up and object? Tell Seth what had happened? Was he really that serious about wanting to be with her?

She felt a smile tug at her already smiling lips, unsure if it was the sight of Seth smiling at her proudly or the thought of Brian being stood at the back of the church.

“You look stunning.” It was only when she heard Seth murmur into her ear that she realised that she had reached the front. She smiled back at him, glancing at Brian briefly as the priest began the ceremony.

Her heart rate quickened as the priest asked the congregation if there was anyone who objected. She glanced quickly behind her to Brian who had lowered his gaze.

As the ceremony continued uninterrupted, Brian let out the breath he had been holding to stop himself from saying anything. He listened to them exchange vows, unable to lift his gaze from the stone floor. Nausea hit him as he heard them being announced as husband and wife, his heart breaking. He needed to get out. He needed to lose himself in a bottle of scotch; and if he hadn’t already promised to take care of Jenni that’s what he would have done. Instead he’d have to put on a brave face, pretend to everyone that he was happy for the newly married couple.

Once outside, Brian wondered over to the shade of a large oak tree that stood on the church grounds and took out his pack of Marlboros. If he couldn’t drink at least he could smoke. Inhaling deeply, he watched as the bridal party congregated on the steps for photographs to be taken. She looked radiant, happy, in love.

As he took another drag of his cigarette, his phone vibrated lightly in his pocket. Taking hold of it he saw Jimmy’s name flash across the screen.

“Dude, where are you?” he asked as Brian answered.

“At the wedding.” he replied simply.

“The actual ceremony? I thought you were only going up later to get Jenni?” he asked.

“I had to talk to her Jim. I had to try, at least one more time.” He muttered his eyes staying fixed on the bride.

“I take it she didn’t listen.” Jimmy replied.

Brian shook his head, “Not as much as I’d hoped.”

“So is that it? Are you happy that she’s made her choice?” he asked.

Brian was silent for a long moment, watching as Seth and Sarah kissed for the camera.
“Yeah man, I think I am. I have to accept that she loves him.”