She's the Drug That I Need

Stepping out of the doctors’ office with the prescription paper in her hand, Sarah made her way across the street to the pharmacy to collect the pills she needed. after handing the prescription over to the pharmacist she turned, scanning the shelves, not looking for anything in particular. Her eyes fell onto the range of Clear Blue items, scanning over the home pregnancy tests to the ovulation packs that just last week Seth had suggested getting seeing as they’d been trying to conceive for a year with no results. Picking one of the packs up, she turned it over to read the information on the back. Getting one to keep him happy wouldn’t hurt.

“One of these as well please.” She said passing it over to the guy behind the counter, a look of pure confusion crossing over his face as he rang it through the register.

“I have my reasons okay?” Sarah muttered as she passed him over the money.

The guy shrugged and placed the pack into the bag with her prescription, “Have a nice day.”

“Thanks you too.” she replied with a smile as she took the bag from him. as she turned to bumped into the person behind her.

“Oh I’m sorry, I wasn’t really concentrating on what I was doing?” the middle-aged woman said.

“That’s okay Mrs Thompson, I wasn’t really concentrating either.” Sarah replied, smiling at her neighbour.

“Oh Sarah, hello dear, are you okay?” she asked returning the smile. “Nothing wrong I hope?” she added nodding at the paper bag holding her prescription.

“Oh, no, no, Jenni has a slight chest infection that’s all, hopefully this will clear it up quickly before it gets too serious. How are you and Harry?” she replied quickly.

“Oh I’m fine, just gotta pick up a refill for Harry’s asthma pump.” She replied passing the form over the counter to the pharmacist.

“Oh, um, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve got to head off, I’ll see around though, take care.” Sarah said.

“Oh of course dear, go take care of that adorable little girl of yours.” She replied with another smile.

Stepping outside into the small parking lot, Sarah breathed a sigh of relief before heading to her car and hiding five out of the six packs of pills in the glove box before putting the other pack into the small pocket on the inside of her purse.

**

“Can we put purple ribbon around Mel’s birthday present?” Jenni asked excitedly as she pulled a ream off the real.

“Of course we can sweetie.” Sarah replied with a laugh. “Is that her favourite colour?”

“No silly, red is.” She replied as her mother took the ribbon off her and tied it neatly around the parcel, making a bow on the top.

“Okay, so why did you want purple? Why not have the red ribbon?” she questioned her daughter.

“Cos it’s my favourite.” She replied in a tone that implied that the answer had been obvious.

“Oh of course,” Sarah replied with a smile. “Do you want to sign your own name on her card?”

“But I’ll only do the J.” She beamed taking hold of the pen her mother offered her, her tongue slipping out of her mouth with concentration as she did a large J at the bottom of the card followed by two x’s for kisses.

“You’re getting so good at doing a J, next time there’s a birthday maybe you’ll be able to do your full name.” Sarah said as she placed the card in the envelope and sealed it.

“Can I go put my party clothes on now?” Jenni asked slipping off the chair.

“I think we better or we’ll be late for the party.” Sarah replied following suit and following her up the stairs to her bedroom.

Knocking purely out of politeness, Sarah opened the front door of Brian’s home, allowing her and Jenni to enter and follow the sound of music and laughter as well as the smell of burgers on the grill out to the back yard.

“I see Mel!” Jenni yelled stepping out through the patio door, instantly gaining everyone’s attention.

“Hey!” Mel replied as she turned towards them. “I was starting to think you weren’t coming.”

“Yeah, sorry we’re late, but someone had a bit of a diva moment and wouldn’t come until she had the right band in her hair.” Sarah said with a shake of her head.

“Well these things are important, right sweetie.” Mel said as she bent down to Jenni who nodded with a huge smile.

“Happy Birthday!” she chimed passing her the neatly wrapped present and card.

“Aw thank you sweetie.” she replied kissing her cheek.

“You’re welcome. It’s from me, mommy and Seth.” She said. “Do you wanna open it now?”

“Sure, why don’t we go sit at the table to open it”? as they walked over and took a seat by the table, Sarah’s eyes met Brian’s, the pair quickly exchanging a smile before looking away, aware there was a pair of crystal blue eyes watching them closely with disgust.

Avoiding Jimmy and Brian as much as possible throughout the afternoon, Sarah sat on the edge of one of the pool loungers watching Jenni as she nibbled at the pasta salad on the side of her plate. As she placed a piece of pasta into her mouth, she jumped slightly as the loud ringing that was her cell phone emitted from her purse. Recognising the tune as her personalised tone for Seth she pressed the answer button as she lifted the device to her ear.

“Baby, is Jenni okay?” he asked before she had time to greet him, his tone full of panic.

“Of course baby she’s fine, we’re at Mel’s party remember.” She replied a little shocked by his tone.

“You sure? I just saw Mrs Thompson and she asked how Jenni was doing now, she said the she’d seen you at the pharmacy earlier and told her that Jenni had a chest infection.” He said calming down slightly.

“Interfering old bat.” Sarah mumbled.

“Babe, don’t call her that, she’s only trying to be kind. Why did you tell her that anyway if Jenni’s okay? Are you okay? Why were you at the pharmacists?” he asked, panic rising again.

“Babe, I’m fine, I just needed, I needed migraine pills.” She replied.

“But you never get migraines. And is a party really the best place to be if you do have one?”

“Jesus fucking Christ Seth! What’s with all the questions?” she snapped, raising her voice and gaining the attention of the others. “I had a fucking migraine okay! so I went to the pharmacist for some pills, took one and now I’m feeling much better! So stop panicking and asking me all these questions as if you don’t believe what I’m saying to you. if that nosey old bitch had kept her nose out of our business you wouldn’t have known a damn thing about it.”

“Babe calm down. Why are you getting so touchy?” Seth asked quietly.

“I was fine until you called me in a blind panic. Don’t you think that if there was something majorly wrong that I would tell you? or don’t you trust me? is that it? Do you think I’m keeping something from you?” she questioned.

“Babe I’m so-“

“Yeah, whatever, I’ve gotta get back to the party and Jenni.” She said with a sigh as she abruptly ended the call.

Feeling as if her blood was going to boil through her veins at any second, she stood up and walked quickly towards the house without making eye contact with anyone.

“Mommy?” Jenni called after her, taking a small step to run after her.

“Wait here with Mel pumpkin, I’ll go make sure she’s okay.” Brian said with a smile as he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. He smiled at Mel, who smile in return and gave him an understanding nod and then made his way into his house, walking through the empty kitchen and living room before checking the study and the downstairs closet and loo. He then headed upstairs and checked each of the four bedrooms, the en-suite, and the bathroom. With still no sign of Sarah, he made his way back down stairs, checking the street to see if she was in her car before heading down into the basement where his studio and laundry room were.

Pushing open the ajar door of his studio he shut it behind him as he walked over to Sarah as she looked up from the large office chair she was sat in.

“Dare I ask what all that was about?” he asked quietly as he pushed himself up onto the worktop opposite her.

She sighed as she lifted her eyes to meet his. “I over reacted.”

“You think?” Brian asked with a hint of a smile.

She glared at him briefly before nodding “He was just making sure I was okay, and it wasn’t Mrs Thompson’s fault either, she was just being a friendly neighbour. I just panicked. I didn’t know what to tell him about why I was at the pharmacy.”

“And why can’t he know the truth?” Brian asked.

“Because I was picking up birth control pills.” She replied with an exasperated sigh.

“Oh.”

“Yeah oh. He thinks we’re trying to get pregnant, but I don’t want a baby with him, and I can’t have another baby with you right now, not while I’m still married to him. so I panicked. And I yelled at him because I couldn’t tell him the truth and yelling was the easiest thing to do.” She replied. “I’m a horrible, horrible person. I am, I don’t deserve him, I don’t deserve you and I don’t deserve Jenni.”

“HEY!” Brian yelled at her, sliding off the work top and walking over to her. “You are not a horrible person.”

“I am, look at the mess I’ve made of everything. if only I’d been honest with you when I found out I was pregnant. We could have been together, a happy family. Seth wouldn’t be getting hurt and neither would Mel and Jimmy would be talking to the both of us instead of scowling at us every time we look at each other.” She said lowering her gaze to her lap.

“Okay, so things haven’t been all puppies and kittens, and yes things are a little screwed up at the moment, but when you can get a divorce and I’ve ended things with Mel, we can be together properly. We’ll finally be able to be the family we should always have been.” He paused to take hold of her hands and lift her out of the chair. “And maybe then, you can come off those pills and we can extend our family.”

With their eyes meeting, the both of them smiled at each other, a twinkle in their eyes as the gap between their lips closed and Brian turned them, ushering her back towards the worktop and lifting her onto it as his tongue slipped into her mouth.