*** Me Alone - Room Nine
Strange roads can lead you everywhere.
I was at another day of work. I couldn’t say that this was my dream job, but it wasn’t bad at all. I just to dance around a pole, and do lap dances to horny men; I wasn’t complaining, I swear. I surely liked to feel they’d get horny because of me, it was quite pleasant to know that I was the cause of their erections, their sweating, and their moans from the time I touched them… Well, it was quite pleasant after all. I had never been with any of them alone, although. They would only offer, at the most, 90 dollars… and Bill told me to not get intimate if they offered less than 100. Well, it was my doom, then, since they would spend all their money on a simple lap dance, unaware of the fact that they could get a lot more if they kept it. Anyway, I wasn’t looking forward to them to spend it more intimately, because, first: I didn’t know what to do; second: I was only fifteen… Well, the second obstacle wasn’t exactly valid, since they thought that I was at least eighteen, so, I had no excuse. If anyone anytime offered me more than 100, I’d just have to do it, no excuse, no crying. Well, I already was here, wasn’t I?
- One minute, Brit – Bill said, smiling sweetly at me.
Despite Bill had this whole business of recruiting minor girls to work at this place, he was a sweetheart; I mean it! He would give us half of the money we collected; he didn’t force us to do nothing… He was like a father to us. We were there because we chose to, not because he would just keep us there.
I arranged my tiny dress, and stayed with my back turned to the curtain that separated me from the audience. I could say that my dream job had some resemblances with this one: I’d be on a stage, in front of a “hungry” audience, too… but not hungry for my body. Well, anyway, the curtain opened, and turned around in the sexiest way I could, almost freezing when I saw the guitarist from one of my favorite bands. He was shamelessly sitting right in front of me, not afraid to show everyone who he was; it wasn’t going to promote his band so well, since they had just started, and it wasn’t good if the press found about him being here. I thought about it while dancing around the pole, throwing my legs around it, and climbing it, so I could fall down with my head and hands to the ground, giving them a great view of my ass; it didn’t matter if people found out he was here, the lead-singer of the band was obviously drunk in front of the fans, so, it was just another dirty sticker to add to the band. Actually, he being there made me kinda… excited. I started doing the lap dancing, deciding on saving him for last. On my way through the men around me, I got offers to a lone thing, but still they were lower than 100 dollars. I finally got to him, and starting rub my body on his, and felt he was so fucking hard he could barely breathe.
- Relax, honey – I whispered in his ear, making him shiver; after that I bit his earlobe, and he got money out of his pocket.
- Do you wanna go somewhere we could be alone? – He asked, trying to look in my eyes, but I wouldn’t let him see my fear he had more than 100 dollars to offer me.
- How much would you pay for this? – I said, turning my back to him, and getting lower on his body, making his hard cock rub through all my back.
- 95 dollars – he stated, and I sighed in relief; he misunderstood that sigh, thinking I was frustrated. – It’s all I got – he said in his defense.
- No deal, honey… Try again tomorrow – I suggested, smirking at him and going back to the stage, to say goodbye and get inside.
The second I got out of the stage, Bill came to me with a cute face, asking me for the money. I handed it all over to him, and he gave me 250 dollars, which meant I had made 500 dollars in total. HOLY FUCK, it was a record for me!
- You’re working well, Brit… Keep doing what you’re doing, sweety – he said, and kissed my forehead.
I went to my room, and to my cleaned sacred bed, which had never been touched by anyone else than me, and instantly fell asleep.
The other day went by normally: I walked around the park in the center of Cape May, just wondering about what happened last night with that guy… the one that’s on my favorite band, you know? I just kept thinking of what might have draggedhim there last night. Before I knew it, it was already time to get back to the club, to get ready to my performance that night. I headed home – creepy how I could call a strip club my home, hun? – and got ready for another amazing night, just to get back to my bedroom and sleep. When I got ready, it was still missing two minutes, so I sneaked to the audience through the back, and saw him sitting on the front chair again, paying any attention to the girl on his lap… It seemed to me he was waiting for something, and then I thought that somethingg could be a someone, and that someone could be me. Holy fuck, I hoped he was waiting for me; I really had a crush on that guy, and on the way he fucking played his guitar. Oh, well, I might be crazy, though; maybe he just wasn’t in the mood, today.
Bill made me a sign from the other side, and I ran, almost tripping on my heels and winning a ticket to visit the ground; luckily, I was so close to Bill when that happened that he caught me.
- Careful, dear; we don’t want to ruin that body, do we? – He asked, caring; he was way too sweet to be heading a strip club. I smiled at him, and got up on stage.
Today’s performance was a bit different: I began turned to the crowd, showing them almost all of my breasts, but coming up instantly, teasing them so much, there were actually some men screaming. I smirked at them, and started my sexual dance around the pole, leaving them so sweat I swear I could smell it from the stage. Anyway, I kept doing the pole dance, trying not to look at him and totally failing; I only glanced at him, but I understood his grin looking at me, smiling so hard I think his cheeks were going to get hurt. I decided it was time to get to the lap dance part, and left the stage, going to the back of the audience; I usually started by the front, but I wanted to save him for last, you know, get him all teased up and turned on. I flew through the amount of men, until I finally reached my 21-year-old dream.
- So, you ready to try again? – I asked, slowly moving my hands on his chest, until I reached the waistband of his jeans, not daring to go lower; I threw my head to his neck, licking it slowly, and making him moan. By the time I looked at him, he had his eyes closed, and was handing me a big amount of money.
- There’s 1000 dollars in there, do you think that’s enough? I can get you more, if you want – he whispered, opening slowly his eyes and looking at me, pleased.
Holy fuck, shit, crap, God, Satan, whatever! He had just given me 1000 dollars to have sex with me? YES!
- It’s more than enough, sugar – I tried to whisper at his ear, controlling my fucking happiness. – Meet me backstage, room number nine – I completed, giving him the pass I had saved for so long on my shorts pocket.
He smiled at him, and was getting closer, to get a single kiss, but I put my fingers on his lips, shaking my head.
- No; backstage, honey.
I moved back, looking at him with the most horny face I could put, looking up and down his body, noticing the way his hair was half-cut, sliding to his right and as black as the night; the way his ear piercing was shinning on the bare light from the club; the way his lovely hazel eyes were exploring every inch of my body… oh, wait, he was checking me out? I blushed, not knowing why, and turned around, returning to the stage to say goodbye. When I finally left, my heart was bumping hard on my chest, not believing I was going to get some, tonight! And with him! I almost missed Bill waiting for me, like he always was.
- What’s up? Did anyone hurt you? – He asked, his cared face becoming an angry face. – Who was it? – That made me laugh, and I shook my head, snapping my tongue at him.
- Nope… Here’s the money, I had a 1000 dollars offer! Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe I’m worth 1000 dollars! – I said, happy, and scaring the shit out of Bill.
- I think I never saw a girl being so well paid for her job… and it’s your first! Holy fuck, you must be really good – he said, smiling at me. – And I never saw any of the girls so happy for getting some. Be sure to use protection, okay, honey? I don’t want you hurt.
- You’re over protecting me, Bill. I have all under control, okay? Thanks, anyway – I said, turning around all happy and almost jumping.
- Brit, your money! – Bill called, pulling my arm slightly.
- Oh, fuck, I almost forgot – I said and got back instantly, waiting for the money. He handed me 1000 dollars, and I got surprised.
- You’ve beaten the record, once again, honey. You’re working hard… it will be a shame when you leave – he said, looking with sad eyes at me.
- Who told I would leave this place? – I asked joyfully, despite I knew I had already made plans for the future.
- You will, eventually. I can see that in your eyes; either way, who wants to be a stripper forever? You’re only fifteen, I know you’ll leave sooner or later – he said, and I hugged him slowly; then, he left me go. – Go, before the guy comes and finds the room empty, and asks for his money!
I smiled at him, and went straight to my room; when I got there, he wasn’t there yet, so I decided to set some things up. I turned on some music, just wishing it was still missing a lot until his band’s songs came to the play; after that, I went to the bathroom to get condoms, and put them on my bedside table’s drawer, with some lubricant. Suddenly, knock knock. Holy Jesus Fucking Christ, it was him! I composed myself and went solemnly to the door, despite he couldn’t see me yet. I opened it, and a smile crossed my face involuntarily, as I saw his white teeth bright on the weak light of the corridor.
- Come in, honey – I said, noticing, too late, that I had a little poster of his band next to my computer; I just hoped he didn’t saw it.
He really didn’t want shitty conversation, he just asked for my name, and said his, to be polite (as if I didn’t know!); then, he moved on to the interesting part right away. He pushed me to the bed, and I lied there, all under his control; he planted some kissed across my body, but never touched my lips, which I thanked. It would make it more personal if he kissed me on the lips.
It was only sex: no passion, no emotion showing; and still, I enjoyed it. He gave me a lot of pleasure, touched spots where I didn’t thought I could get any pleasure from, played me like a toy, but I liked it. After all, it happened to be a little bit more than just an occasional fuck: it had a lot of pleasure giving to be only a fuck.
He left after he finished, collecting the condom he had brought and putting it on the trash beside the door, making me giggle a bit. While he looked up to see my face, he noticed the poster of his band beside the computer, but didn’t said a thing; he just threw me a kiss with his hand, leaving right after, with his black leather jacket on his left hand.
When he left, I lied on my bed, feeling better than ever.
We kept doing that for an entire week, but, every night, it would get more intimate. He started getting more careful, more caring, and I even felt asleep on his arms, once. But the worst happened exactly one week after our first night: he kissed me on the lips making all the sex on fire, turn into making love. From that day on, I never saw him again.
* * *
I took that images off of my head; holy fuck, that happened in 2002, and we were already in 2011! Sure, he was in front of me; sure, I was afraid he would recognize me; sure, I was auditioning to spend a whole year with him, and his band; but holy fuck, I never forgot about him. And I don’t say this because I love his band more than anything (despite I do, actually), but I’m saying this ‘cause he was the only guy I had ever kissed, and fucked, let’s face it, in my entire life! Yep, nine years older (it means I’m 23, almost 24, right now), and I’m still almost virgin. Yeah, I had had sex, but only one week in 23 years of existence? That was fucking nothing.
I snapped out of that thought, concentrating on the lead-singer of the band, who was about to start the conversation.
- So, name of the band? – He asked, trying to stay serious, but failing flatly, as a giggle escaped from his lips, due to his try to be serious.
- “Fuck me alone” – I said, with a pretty grin as they all looked up at me, curious about that name.
- Why? – The bassist said, turning his head to the side, curiosity feeling his eyes.
- Old memories – I said, collapsing and looking at the rhythm guitarist, who, luckily, wasn’t looking at me.
- Oh, okay – he said, smiling just a tiny bit.
They proceeded with some more questions, and asked us to sing eventually. We played our original song “Not anymore!”, and I think it was by the time that I sang the chorus he recognized me:
- “Never said a word, never said a lie!
Never heard you scream, never heard you cry…
Never seen your face, never seen you smile…
Not anymore!
Never sell it out, oh, never again!
Since you went away, didn’t have to stay…
That life is not mine, not what I had planned…
Not anymore!”
By the end of the song, the major band clapped, and seemed pretty impressed by our songs; it seemed to me they liked it.
- So, personal questions, now… But since we don’t have enough space, we’ll have to do it here, in front of everyone, okay? – The lead-singer of the band said, until the rhythm guitarist whispered on his ear.
- Okay, what’s your name? – He asked coldly, looking straight in my eyes.
- Brittany Griffin – I replied, feeling like I was under his inspection.
- Age? – He asked, despite I figured out he had already written a number on the paper.
- 24 – I replied, and he looked shocked at me.
- HOLY FUCK! – He screamed, getting up. – That means you were only… oh, fuck – he gasped, lowering the tone of his voice when he saw me blushing and the tears floating under my eyes. – I can’t believe this… - He finished, sitting down again, and continuing the questions, as I answered quickly and trying to contain the tears.
He probably was thinking I was disgusting, now; he must think I’m dirty, and that he should never ever spent his money with me, that I’m not worthy… I bit my lower lip, looking for some kind of support to lead the tears to my eyes again, but it only made it harder, since I started bleeding.
- Holy horny fuck – I said, one of the sentences my band mates were so accustomed to hear they never even laughed at it anymore. He looked at me, and seeing I was covering my mouth with my hands, he thought I was regretting of saying that sentence.
- You didn’t use to regret about the things you said, before – he said casually, as he looked at the paper in front of him one last time and looked back, which make me look shocked at him, until my hands got off of my mouth, showing him I was just bleeding.
- Holy fuck, you’re bleeding! – He said, and instantly got up to lead me into the bathroom.
When we were inside, he closed the door, and got me a white towel whose I ruined with my red dirty blood, and handed me some kind of bandage to put in my lip.
- Hey, it’s my lip, I can’t put a bandage on it, it won’t stick! – I said, still with the towel pressed against my lips, which made it sound like “hey, is a liph, I I can’t phut a fandage in it, it won’t stick!”, making him laugh his cute little baby giggle for a second.
- I’m sorry, I’m a twat sometimes – he replied, not knowing what to do, then.
- Move – I said, pushing him from the front of the tap, that I opened and took a few drops to put on my mouth; after a few seconds, my lip stopped bleeding, but I couldn’t seem to stop crying.
He thought I was dirty, messy, a whore, worthless, a slut, a slag, a bitch, a…
- Hey, why are you still crying? – He asked, lifting my face through his only finger on my chin, caring.
- I know you think I’m a whore – I stated, turning my face away, and looking into the small mirror, only to see my make-up all blurred through my face.
- What the fuck? – He asked, confused.
- I know you remember me – I said, looking at his eyes.
- Yeah, I surely remember you – he said, all the anger now running on his eyes. – I thought you were at least eighteen, for fuck’s sake! I mean, I’m a pedophile… I can’t believe what I’ve done – he said, now looking at the ground, sadly.
- You’re not a pedophile; you only fucked someone you thought you could… It’s all my fault – I said, getting his head up. – I’m the whore, here, okay? I gave you the opportunity.
- You could’ve asked me to stop! – He said, crying slightly, tearing me apart. – You were only a child; I mean, fifteen?!
- I didn’t want you to stop – I stated, flushing and looking at the ceiling.
- WHAT? – He screamed, shocked.
- I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO STOP! I’M A WHORE, I CAN’T HELP IT! – I screamed, getting mad at him.
- YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD ME TO STOP, YOU WERE ONLY FIFTEEN! – He screamed back, and totally got my attention back at his angry face.
- DON’T ACT LIKE YOU’RE MY FATHER, FRANK ANTHONY THOMAS IERO! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PAID ME 1000 DOLLARS TO FUCK ME! – I spilled off on his face.
- I THOUGHT YOU WERE OLD ENOUGH! – He replied.
- Well, apparently I wasn’t – I replied, calmly.
- Why didn’t you want me to stop? – He asked, calming down too; our moods were like a rollercoaster, they went up and down so suddenly, that I was scared.
- I was liking it… It felt good – I said, truly honest to him.
- Really? – He asked, with a pretty big grin; I just nodded, and, when he was about to kiss me on the neck, thinking it would make things better, I slapped him.
- GET FUCKING OFF OF ME! YOU’RE MARRIED, FOR FUCK’S SAKE! I’M NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE! – I screamed at his face, and he looked hurt, amused and satanically at me.
- Once a whore, forever a whore – he said, with a voice I never heard from him, before.
- FUCKING BASTARD! – I screamed, walking so fast through him, that he almost fell when I hit his arm with my hand to get him out of my way.
- FUCKING BITCH! – He screamed back, as I disappeared to the room the others were, with shocked and worried faces.
- Oh, fuck me alone, please! – I said, looking into the sky and begging for mercy; then, I stormed out of the room, leaving the building, and hoping to never see that fucking bastard again.
- One minute, Brit – Bill said, smiling sweetly at me.
Despite Bill had this whole business of recruiting minor girls to work at this place, he was a sweetheart; I mean it! He would give us half of the money we collected; he didn’t force us to do nothing… He was like a father to us. We were there because we chose to, not because he would just keep us there.
I arranged my tiny dress, and stayed with my back turned to the curtain that separated me from the audience. I could say that my dream job had some resemblances with this one: I’d be on a stage, in front of a “hungry” audience, too… but not hungry for my body. Well, anyway, the curtain opened, and turned around in the sexiest way I could, almost freezing when I saw the guitarist from one of my favorite bands. He was shamelessly sitting right in front of me, not afraid to show everyone who he was; it wasn’t going to promote his band so well, since they had just started, and it wasn’t good if the press found about him being here. I thought about it while dancing around the pole, throwing my legs around it, and climbing it, so I could fall down with my head and hands to the ground, giving them a great view of my ass; it didn’t matter if people found out he was here, the lead-singer of the band was obviously drunk in front of the fans, so, it was just another dirty sticker to add to the band. Actually, he being there made me kinda… excited. I started doing the lap dancing, deciding on saving him for last. On my way through the men around me, I got offers to a lone thing, but still they were lower than 100 dollars. I finally got to him, and starting rub my body on his, and felt he was so fucking hard he could barely breathe.
- Relax, honey – I whispered in his ear, making him shiver; after that I bit his earlobe, and he got money out of his pocket.
- Do you wanna go somewhere we could be alone? – He asked, trying to look in my eyes, but I wouldn’t let him see my fear he had more than 100 dollars to offer me.
- How much would you pay for this? – I said, turning my back to him, and getting lower on his body, making his hard cock rub through all my back.
- 95 dollars – he stated, and I sighed in relief; he misunderstood that sigh, thinking I was frustrated. – It’s all I got – he said in his defense.
- No deal, honey… Try again tomorrow – I suggested, smirking at him and going back to the stage, to say goodbye and get inside.
The second I got out of the stage, Bill came to me with a cute face, asking me for the money. I handed it all over to him, and he gave me 250 dollars, which meant I had made 500 dollars in total. HOLY FUCK, it was a record for me!
- You’re working well, Brit… Keep doing what you’re doing, sweety – he said, and kissed my forehead.
I went to my room, and to my cleaned sacred bed, which had never been touched by anyone else than me, and instantly fell asleep.
The other day went by normally: I walked around the park in the center of Cape May, just wondering about what happened last night with that guy… the one that’s on my favorite band, you know? I just kept thinking of what might have draggedhim there last night. Before I knew it, it was already time to get back to the club, to get ready to my performance that night. I headed home – creepy how I could call a strip club my home, hun? – and got ready for another amazing night, just to get back to my bedroom and sleep. When I got ready, it was still missing two minutes, so I sneaked to the audience through the back, and saw him sitting on the front chair again, paying any attention to the girl on his lap… It seemed to me he was waiting for something, and then I thought that somethingg could be a someone, and that someone could be me. Holy fuck, I hoped he was waiting for me; I really had a crush on that guy, and on the way he fucking played his guitar. Oh, well, I might be crazy, though; maybe he just wasn’t in the mood, today.
Bill made me a sign from the other side, and I ran, almost tripping on my heels and winning a ticket to visit the ground; luckily, I was so close to Bill when that happened that he caught me.
- Careful, dear; we don’t want to ruin that body, do we? – He asked, caring; he was way too sweet to be heading a strip club. I smiled at him, and got up on stage.
Today’s performance was a bit different: I began turned to the crowd, showing them almost all of my breasts, but coming up instantly, teasing them so much, there were actually some men screaming. I smirked at them, and started my sexual dance around the pole, leaving them so sweat I swear I could smell it from the stage. Anyway, I kept doing the pole dance, trying not to look at him and totally failing; I only glanced at him, but I understood his grin looking at me, smiling so hard I think his cheeks were going to get hurt. I decided it was time to get to the lap dance part, and left the stage, going to the back of the audience; I usually started by the front, but I wanted to save him for last, you know, get him all teased up and turned on. I flew through the amount of men, until I finally reached my 21-year-old dream.
- So, you ready to try again? – I asked, slowly moving my hands on his chest, until I reached the waistband of his jeans, not daring to go lower; I threw my head to his neck, licking it slowly, and making him moan. By the time I looked at him, he had his eyes closed, and was handing me a big amount of money.
- There’s 1000 dollars in there, do you think that’s enough? I can get you more, if you want – he whispered, opening slowly his eyes and looking at me, pleased.
Holy fuck, shit, crap, God, Satan, whatever! He had just given me 1000 dollars to have sex with me? YES!
- It’s more than enough, sugar – I tried to whisper at his ear, controlling my fucking happiness. – Meet me backstage, room number nine – I completed, giving him the pass I had saved for so long on my shorts pocket.
He smiled at him, and was getting closer, to get a single kiss, but I put my fingers on his lips, shaking my head.
- No; backstage, honey.
I moved back, looking at him with the most horny face I could put, looking up and down his body, noticing the way his hair was half-cut, sliding to his right and as black as the night; the way his ear piercing was shinning on the bare light from the club; the way his lovely hazel eyes were exploring every inch of my body… oh, wait, he was checking me out? I blushed, not knowing why, and turned around, returning to the stage to say goodbye. When I finally left, my heart was bumping hard on my chest, not believing I was going to get some, tonight! And with him! I almost missed Bill waiting for me, like he always was.
- What’s up? Did anyone hurt you? – He asked, his cared face becoming an angry face. – Who was it? – That made me laugh, and I shook my head, snapping my tongue at him.
- Nope… Here’s the money, I had a 1000 dollars offer! Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe I’m worth 1000 dollars! – I said, happy, and scaring the shit out of Bill.
- I think I never saw a girl being so well paid for her job… and it’s your first! Holy fuck, you must be really good – he said, smiling at me. – And I never saw any of the girls so happy for getting some. Be sure to use protection, okay, honey? I don’t want you hurt.
- You’re over protecting me, Bill. I have all under control, okay? Thanks, anyway – I said, turning around all happy and almost jumping.
- Brit, your money! – Bill called, pulling my arm slightly.
- Oh, fuck, I almost forgot – I said and got back instantly, waiting for the money. He handed me 1000 dollars, and I got surprised.
- You’ve beaten the record, once again, honey. You’re working hard… it will be a shame when you leave – he said, looking with sad eyes at me.
- Who told I would leave this place? – I asked joyfully, despite I knew I had already made plans for the future.
- You will, eventually. I can see that in your eyes; either way, who wants to be a stripper forever? You’re only fifteen, I know you’ll leave sooner or later – he said, and I hugged him slowly; then, he left me go. – Go, before the guy comes and finds the room empty, and asks for his money!
I smiled at him, and went straight to my room; when I got there, he wasn’t there yet, so I decided to set some things up. I turned on some music, just wishing it was still missing a lot until his band’s songs came to the play; after that, I went to the bathroom to get condoms, and put them on my bedside table’s drawer, with some lubricant. Suddenly, knock knock. Holy Jesus Fucking Christ, it was him! I composed myself and went solemnly to the door, despite he couldn’t see me yet. I opened it, and a smile crossed my face involuntarily, as I saw his white teeth bright on the weak light of the corridor.
- Come in, honey – I said, noticing, too late, that I had a little poster of his band next to my computer; I just hoped he didn’t saw it.
He really didn’t want shitty conversation, he just asked for my name, and said his, to be polite (as if I didn’t know!); then, he moved on to the interesting part right away. He pushed me to the bed, and I lied there, all under his control; he planted some kissed across my body, but never touched my lips, which I thanked. It would make it more personal if he kissed me on the lips.
It was only sex: no passion, no emotion showing; and still, I enjoyed it. He gave me a lot of pleasure, touched spots where I didn’t thought I could get any pleasure from, played me like a toy, but I liked it. After all, it happened to be a little bit more than just an occasional fuck: it had a lot of pleasure giving to be only a fuck.
He left after he finished, collecting the condom he had brought and putting it on the trash beside the door, making me giggle a bit. While he looked up to see my face, he noticed the poster of his band beside the computer, but didn’t said a thing; he just threw me a kiss with his hand, leaving right after, with his black leather jacket on his left hand.
When he left, I lied on my bed, feeling better than ever.
We kept doing that for an entire week, but, every night, it would get more intimate. He started getting more careful, more caring, and I even felt asleep on his arms, once. But the worst happened exactly one week after our first night: he kissed me on the lips making all the sex on fire, turn into making love. From that day on, I never saw him again.
* * *
I took that images off of my head; holy fuck, that happened in 2002, and we were already in 2011! Sure, he was in front of me; sure, I was afraid he would recognize me; sure, I was auditioning to spend a whole year with him, and his band; but holy fuck, I never forgot about him. And I don’t say this because I love his band more than anything (despite I do, actually), but I’m saying this ‘cause he was the only guy I had ever kissed, and fucked, let’s face it, in my entire life! Yep, nine years older (it means I’m 23, almost 24, right now), and I’m still almost virgin. Yeah, I had had sex, but only one week in 23 years of existence? That was fucking nothing.
I snapped out of that thought, concentrating on the lead-singer of the band, who was about to start the conversation.
- So, name of the band? – He asked, trying to stay serious, but failing flatly, as a giggle escaped from his lips, due to his try to be serious.
- “Fuck me alone” – I said, with a pretty grin as they all looked up at me, curious about that name.
- Why? – The bassist said, turning his head to the side, curiosity feeling his eyes.
- Old memories – I said, collapsing and looking at the rhythm guitarist, who, luckily, wasn’t looking at me.
- Oh, okay – he said, smiling just a tiny bit.
They proceeded with some more questions, and asked us to sing eventually. We played our original song “Not anymore!”, and I think it was by the time that I sang the chorus he recognized me:
- “Never said a word, never said a lie!
Never heard you scream, never heard you cry…
Never seen your face, never seen you smile…
Not anymore!
Never sell it out, oh, never again!
Since you went away, didn’t have to stay…
That life is not mine, not what I had planned…
Not anymore!”
By the end of the song, the major band clapped, and seemed pretty impressed by our songs; it seemed to me they liked it.
- So, personal questions, now… But since we don’t have enough space, we’ll have to do it here, in front of everyone, okay? – The lead-singer of the band said, until the rhythm guitarist whispered on his ear.
- Okay, what’s your name? – He asked coldly, looking straight in my eyes.
- Brittany Griffin – I replied, feeling like I was under his inspection.
- Age? – He asked, despite I figured out he had already written a number on the paper.
- 24 – I replied, and he looked shocked at me.
- HOLY FUCK! – He screamed, getting up. – That means you were only… oh, fuck – he gasped, lowering the tone of his voice when he saw me blushing and the tears floating under my eyes. – I can’t believe this… - He finished, sitting down again, and continuing the questions, as I answered quickly and trying to contain the tears.
He probably was thinking I was disgusting, now; he must think I’m dirty, and that he should never ever spent his money with me, that I’m not worthy… I bit my lower lip, looking for some kind of support to lead the tears to my eyes again, but it only made it harder, since I started bleeding.
- Holy horny fuck – I said, one of the sentences my band mates were so accustomed to hear they never even laughed at it anymore. He looked at me, and seeing I was covering my mouth with my hands, he thought I was regretting of saying that sentence.
- You didn’t use to regret about the things you said, before – he said casually, as he looked at the paper in front of him one last time and looked back, which make me look shocked at him, until my hands got off of my mouth, showing him I was just bleeding.
- Holy fuck, you’re bleeding! – He said, and instantly got up to lead me into the bathroom.
When we were inside, he closed the door, and got me a white towel whose I ruined with my red dirty blood, and handed me some kind of bandage to put in my lip.
- Hey, it’s my lip, I can’t put a bandage on it, it won’t stick! – I said, still with the towel pressed against my lips, which made it sound like “hey, is a liph, I I can’t phut a fandage in it, it won’t stick!”, making him laugh his cute little baby giggle for a second.
- I’m sorry, I’m a twat sometimes – he replied, not knowing what to do, then.
- Move – I said, pushing him from the front of the tap, that I opened and took a few drops to put on my mouth; after a few seconds, my lip stopped bleeding, but I couldn’t seem to stop crying.
He thought I was dirty, messy, a whore, worthless, a slut, a slag, a bitch, a…
- Hey, why are you still crying? – He asked, lifting my face through his only finger on my chin, caring.
- I know you think I’m a whore – I stated, turning my face away, and looking into the small mirror, only to see my make-up all blurred through my face.
- What the fuck? – He asked, confused.
- I know you remember me – I said, looking at his eyes.
- Yeah, I surely remember you – he said, all the anger now running on his eyes. – I thought you were at least eighteen, for fuck’s sake! I mean, I’m a pedophile… I can’t believe what I’ve done – he said, now looking at the ground, sadly.
- You’re not a pedophile; you only fucked someone you thought you could… It’s all my fault – I said, getting his head up. – I’m the whore, here, okay? I gave you the opportunity.
- You could’ve asked me to stop! – He said, crying slightly, tearing me apart. – You were only a child; I mean, fifteen?!
- I didn’t want you to stop – I stated, flushing and looking at the ceiling.
- WHAT? – He screamed, shocked.
- I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO STOP! I’M A WHORE, I CAN’T HELP IT! – I screamed, getting mad at him.
- YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD ME TO STOP, YOU WERE ONLY FIFTEEN! – He screamed back, and totally got my attention back at his angry face.
- DON’T ACT LIKE YOU’RE MY FATHER, FRANK ANTHONY THOMAS IERO! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PAID ME 1000 DOLLARS TO FUCK ME! – I spilled off on his face.
- I THOUGHT YOU WERE OLD ENOUGH! – He replied.
- Well, apparently I wasn’t – I replied, calmly.
- Why didn’t you want me to stop? – He asked, calming down too; our moods were like a rollercoaster, they went up and down so suddenly, that I was scared.
- I was liking it… It felt good – I said, truly honest to him.
- Really? – He asked, with a pretty big grin; I just nodded, and, when he was about to kiss me on the neck, thinking it would make things better, I slapped him.
- GET FUCKING OFF OF ME! YOU’RE MARRIED, FOR FUCK’S SAKE! I’M NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE! – I screamed at his face, and he looked hurt, amused and satanically at me.
- Once a whore, forever a whore – he said, with a voice I never heard from him, before.
- FUCKING BASTARD! – I screamed, walking so fast through him, that he almost fell when I hit his arm with my hand to get him out of my way.
- FUCKING BITCH! – He screamed back, as I disappeared to the room the others were, with shocked and worried faces.
- Oh, fuck me alone, please! – I said, looking into the sky and begging for mercy; then, I stormed out of the room, leaving the building, and hoping to never see that fucking bastard again.