*** Me Alone - Room Nine

After a while of staring at our hands, my stomach decided to ruin our sweet moment, by making a stupid and embarrassing sound, revealing to everyone the hunger I had been ignoring. I heard my friends laugh at my annoyed face, and Frank even smirked at me.
- Yeah, laugh all you want… I haven’t eaten in about… - I stopped for a bit, making some mental calculus, and shocking myself. – four days. I haven’t fucking eaten in four days!
That realization made me feel really awkward; I haven’t eaten in four days, and I wasn’t dead. Okay, was that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing? Shouldn’t I be feeling dizzy, or something? Wasn’t I supposed to faint, or anything?
At the second that I thought about fainting, my forces abandoned my body and all my energy was drained from it. I fell into Frank’s arms, and glanced at his face one last time before my eyes fell shut and I don’t remember anything that happened from that moment on, until I was being forced to eat skittles (seriously? Who gives skittles to someone who has just fainted?) and almost choked with them.
- Oh, you’re awake! For God’s sake, you scared me, Tany! – He said, as I coughed and chewed some of the skittles I had on my mouth; once I swallowed, he was going to put more on my mouth, but I stopped him, and, instead, he put them on his own mouth.
- Skittles, Frank? Really? – I asked, laughing a tiny bit, at his well-known obsession with those rainbow-colored and fruity-flavored small gums. – I mean, I faint from not eating, and the first thing that’s forced into my mouth is a bunch of skittles… I wonder how good that is for me…
He shut me up with a kiss full of skittles, which I, defeated, accepted inside my mouth, along with his wet delicious tongue that fought with mine over dominance, losing in the end. As our kiss started to heat up, Frank came to the top of me, laying over my body on what, I understood now, was a bunk (his bunk, I supposed), and then the skittles pack fell on the ground, and we heard millions of little *cracks* as the tiny ball-gums hit the floor in thousands of different directions, making the ground look like a flat, yet bubbly, rainbow. If it wasn’t for Gerard coming into the bunks zone, slipping on the skittles and falling with his ass on the ground, me and Frank would’ve done so much more than just touching each other’s body and kissing each other’s mouth to exhaustion; we would’ve stripped each other’s clothes, kissed each other’s body, reached places we never thought we could get… Anyway, Gerard made us snap out of our bubble of sex and happiness, and we burst into laughter as he cursed the skittles and rubbed his butt.
- Who the fuck put skittles on the ground? – He asked, obviously mad; when he saw Frank, Frank had this guilty puppy (ah-ah, puppy) look on his eyes, which made Gerard instantly roll his eyes. – Why do I even ask?! Frank, clean this fucking mess before anyone else falls on this – Gerard said, and only then noticed Frank’s messy hair, and me, breathing hardly, underneath his short fabulous ink-covered body. – Oh, sorry if I interrupted… but… meh, forget it. Just clean this up, when you can, ‘kay? I’m leaving.
As he said that, he got up carefully, and left the room, attempting to do it solemnly, but failing due to his hurt ass. I laughed a tiny bit more, my giggles echoing now that it was only me and Frank in the bunks’ zone. He got closer, to kiss me again, but I stopped him half-way.
- Baby, we better save that for other time… We gotta clean this up before anyone else… - *PUM*
I got interrupted by a loud crash and a high-pitched scream, and moved my head to see Chris on the ground, clinching his jaw as he tried strongly not to let those tears that were hanging on his eyes fall.
- Fuck, Chris, are you okay? – I asked, forcing not to laugh. Frank had finally got off of me, as he rolled to his side to laugh onto the mattress; I snapped the back of his head, not too strongly, and got up very slowly and carefully.
- Yeah, I’m fine – he said, pissed off. – Watch out, I don’t want you to fall over me. Who in the fucking earth surface spreads skittles all over the floor? – He asked, as I reached my hand out to help him get up; he took it, and, soon enough, he was standing straight in front of me, rubbing his butt just like Gerard had done minutes before.
- Actually, it was my fault – Frank said, from the bunk, showing his head off to us; Chris looked between me and him, and then he turned red. And I mean really red; he looked like a living tomato, for fuck’s sake!
- Hum, sorry for interrupting… hum, I was just looking for Gee; but I guess he’s not here, so, I’ll just leave smoothly, and you can continue as if nothing happened… - Chris was always very talkative when he was nervous and embarrassed. – I’ll just go, and you won’t even notice I’ve been here…
As he was leaving, he slipped on some skittles and, right when he was about to fall, I grabbed his arm, supporting him.
- Gosh, Chris, easy; you don’t need to fall again, ‘kay? – I said, and he gave a cute little smile and a wink, and right when I was about to ask why he wanted to know where Gerard was, Frank interrupted me, as he held me from my back, surrounding my waist with his arms and laying his head on my left shoulder.
- I bet Gee’s outside, smoking a cigarette – he said, but then closed his eyes and chuckled. – Fuck, how could he be outside, if we’re already moving? Gosh, I’m fucking stupid sometimes… He must be back at the kitchen, or the living room, or something. I don’t know, really. Sorry – he looked Chris with an apologetic look, and I even saw him winking at him, which made Chris smile slightly, and get closer to my ear to say something, totally forgetting Frank would hear it anyway.
- Don’t ever let him go, he’s one of the last good guys on this earth – he told me, and I could sense the pain incrusted on that simple sentence, and when I looked at him, he understood I had detected his pain, so he just shook his head and faked a smile at me, while turning around and leaving the room with careful steps, so he wouldn’t fall again.
As he left, I heard him sob, and my breathing stopped as a needle stabbed my heart with that sound; Chris was my best friend since we have met and I couldn’t stand to see him hurt; he felt the other way around about me, of course. I put my arms on top of Frank’s arms as I took a deep breath and an involuntary tear fell through my face. Frank caught it on my chin, stopping it from falling to the ground.
- Why’re you crying, baby? – He asked me, as he leaned his cheek on my shoulder and looked at my face; I looked back at him, and wasn’t even capable to put on a fake smile for my sweet love.
- He’s been my best friend since I was eighteen; I hate to see him hurt like that… - I told Frank, and then leaned my forehead on his and closed my eyes. – Let’s clean this mess, so I can go talk to him, okay? – I asked him, not opening my tired wet eyes. He smoothly took one arm off of my waist and brought his hand next to my face to caress my cheek up and down; after he stopped, I leant my face onto his hand.
- Go talk to him now, honey; I’ll clean this shit, okay? – He said to me, and then softly peeked a kiss on my lips. – Love you.
The corners of my lips made a short motion up, and then I mimed a “love you” with my own lips, leaving the room.
I didn’t know where Chris could be, but I was willing to search for him for eternity, if I had to; after all, he was my best friend, and he couldn’t hide forever in a moving bus… I ended up finding him alone, on the kitchen, crying on a corner of it, a knife dangerously put on the ground next to him. I walked slowly to him, not wanting to scare him and make him throw the knife at me, or even cut himself.
- Chris… - I called him, while kneeling in front of him and taking his face off of his hands, making him look at me. – What’s up? What happened?
He let his legs fall, and leaned closer to me, hugging me for dear life; I have never seen him so hurt in the whole time I had met him. I mean, it was five years, almost six, since we met, and through all that time, I had never seen him crying so badly, I had never felt his hug so urgent. I didn’t force him to speak; I already knew that wouldn’t be the best thing to do. He was hurt; I wasn’t going to hurt him more than he was, by making him talk about it. I would give him all the time he needed; I’d just hug him and let him cry on my shoulder, wetting my shirt, letting all those tears clean his mind and his soul.
He sobbed and cried for, what I could say, twenty good minutes, and he only stopped because Frank came to see if I was okay, and seeing Chris was still crying, just planted a kiss on my forehead, gently squeezed Chris shoulder and planted a kiss on the top of his head, then left the kitchen, leaving us alone again.
- Was that Fra-a-ank? – Chris asked, still sobbing a little; I nodded my head, and he got his head out of my shoulder, looking me in the eyes and smiling a tiny bit. – He’s really sweet, you’re so lucky…
After that, a few more tears escaped his eyes, but he fought the sobs so he could speak properly, and tell me exactly why he was so hurt and why such sorrow filled his eyes and soul.
- So, hum, you know Wyatt… - He told me, a little sad look playing on his eyes when he said his boyfriend’s name. – He just… broke up with me.
- Dude, what the fuck?! – I said, getting really angry; Chris saw my eyes were full of rage, and a scared face was all I could see then.
- Calm down, Brit… Just calm down. It was better off this way, that stupid asshole didn’t even trust me! He said that, just because I’d be going on tour with the band, it meant I’d get sex with every single fan I’d get to see! I can’t fucking believe it – Chris said, in a failed attempt to calm me down; I got up from his front, and grabbed the kitchen counter I had in front of me, feeling like I could fucking break it if I wanted to.
- What did he say, really? I’m gonna kill that motherfucker! – I screamed, and stormed out of the kitchen, going to the door to the outside, only to remember, after it was open, that we were already moving. – Fuck this! – I screamed, as the wind ran into my face and made me lose my breath for a while.
I closed the dangerous door, smashing it real loud, and then punched the wall beside it with so much strength, that if it wasn’t for me seeing it was alright, I would’ve thought I had, somehow, broken that little piece of metal.
As I turned around, furiously, I had my fists next to my face in agony, and when I just threw them in the air to make some of my tension go away, I hit someone. Hard.
- What the fuck? – Mikey said, bleeding from his nose as he held it with his left hand.
- Oh, fuck, sorry Mikey… I didn’t mean to hurt you, it’s just that I, argh. Sorry, really – I told him, and, much to my surprise, he nodded and really let go of it.
- It’s okay, I’m sure you didn’t mean it…
- I didn’t! – I interrupted him, and he looked at me, so I shut up.
- I know you didn’t… But now I’m wondering what happened so you are this – he said, pointing at his bleeding nose, - pissed off.
- It’s just that I have some temperamental problems, you know? When something pisses me off, even if it’s not that big of a deal, I really burst out punching and kicking everything… Sorry, again, Mikey.
He made a slight nod, and, incredibly, smiled at me a tiny bit.
- I know what you mean. Temperamental problems can be really fucked up. Anyway, I better go clean my nose and do something to this, before I lose all my blood – he joked, making a tiny bit of my anger fly away.
- You want help? – I asked, trying to make up for what I had done.
- What, you’re gonna drink my blood? – He asked, pretending to be scared; I laughed a bit, and then looked serious at him.
- I didn’t meant help with draining your blood, but yes clean your nose, silly! – I told him, as I shook my head and smirked at him.
- No, thanks, Brit – he told me, and then moved into the bathroom.
When Mikey was gone, he took with him the little peace I had felt, and the things Chris told me just got back on my head, repeating as I started to breathe quicker, and to feel even angrier with that Wyatt-asshole-fucking-stupid. How could he ever think that Chris would just cheat on him? Was he fucking stupid, or what? Chris loved him with all his heart, and all his everything, and he had just… fuck him. He’s a stupid bastard.
If I kept thinking about that stupid asshole, I’m sure I would’ve jumped off the bus and ran after that bastard. I swear I would’ve. Good thing Frank caught me before I did it.
- Babe, are you okay? – He asked, as he saw me standing by the door with my fists clinched. – What’s up? – He hugged me by my waist, and I instantly calmed down, giving my mind a little time to reflect on what I was about to do.
I couldn’t jump from that bus, first because I’d be terribly hurt, second because I would disappoint awfully my band-mates, and third because I couldn’t leave Frank’s side for longer than one hour. And that guy wasn’t even worth all the pain that would bring me; yet, I was still gonna talk to him as soon as we got back to New Jersey, and that guy would regret of hurting Chris so badly.
- I was just considering if I should jump out of the bus, or if I shouldn’t – I told, honestly, to my eternal love; I felt him tense around me, so I slowly put my arms on top of his, caressing his hands and then crossing my fingers with his, locking them. – Don’t worry, as long as you’re here, my sanity will be with me, and that idea will not cross my mind – I calmed him down, and I felt he letting go of the tension he had on me; well, at least, most of it.
- Can I know why you were considering that? – He asked, serious, and I could feel his fear on his cold voice and, once again, tense arms.
- It has nothing to do with you, baby – I told him, and he relaxed, letting his head fall into my shoulder; I leant my head on his, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before talking. – Chris’ boyfriend broke up with him with the excuse that Chris would fuck every hot guy he’d see at a concert; and, you know, I have some temperamental problems, and when I get angry, I really can’t control myself, I might probably beat someone to death – I confess to him, half expecting he’d just let me go, and ran away from me, scared to hell.
- But, as you said, as long as I’m here, you’ll still have your sanity, right? – He asked, and I could feel a smile, not only through his words, but also through the movement of his cheeks that I could feel against my own.
- Yeah, as long as you’re here, I won’t kill anyone.
- Well, then that’s just another excuse for me to stay with you forever – he told me, and I smiled, thinking on how he said “another” instead of “an excuse”, which meant he was planning to stay with me forever for some other reason, that I was just about to ask him when Mikey got into the living room of the bus, again.
- Gosh, Mikey, what happened? – Frankie asked, as he saw his red nose and a slight bruise next to his eye; I didn’t even see I had hit his eye, too.
- Hum, well… - Mikey asked, looking at me to see if he could tell, or if he had to lie; I smiled a little at him, in form of apology.
- Actually, I hit him, unintentionally, earlier, and, hum, I hit him quiet hard – I said, and I felt Frank’s quick and low chuckle, more than I actually heard it.
- Yeah, she has got to have the Devil’s strength, for sure – Mikey said, and I laughed a little bit, and then watching Chris walk into the room as if he hadn’t been crying onto my shoulder just some minutes before.
- What’s so funny? – He asked, faking a smile, and Frank glanced at me, totally aware that he was only faking; Mikey turned to Chris to show him his face, and Chris’ eyes instantly flew to my face, all of his concern now shown up.
- She was just turning around, and I happened to be passing by, and she punched me real hard; now I’m gonna get mocked for being beaten up by a girl – Mikey explained, jokingly, and Chris automatically started to pretend he was fine again, even laughing at Mikey’s statement.
- Well, you can beat me back if you want – I told him, looking straight at his bruise on the left eye; it looked pretty bad.
- No! – Frank screamed, and instantly positioned himself in front of me, in a very protective way, facing Mikey. – No way you’ll beat my girl! – He said, and I laughed a tiny bit at his reaction.
Mikey looked from his head to his toe, and took a step closer to us, looking like one of those cowboys from those old movies, you know? It was funny to watch that scene.
- Really, Iero? – He pocked Frankie, and then, right after punching him lightly on the belly, ran away, and Frank ran after him, all hyper because of the skittles he had had earlier. Note to myself: never give skittles to Frank if I want a calm day/night.
They ran until Mikey gave up, and Frankie simply jumped on his back, making Mikey support all of his weight. I was laughing my ass off at that scenario, just when Gee got in the room, and rolled his eyes at them, then looking straight at Chris; he was laughing with me, too, but I guess he couldn’t fool anyone, ‘cause even Gerard could tell he was faking, since he went to him, and lowly talked to him, making him stop laughing and both going to the kitchen.
-Yaaaay, no way you’ll touch my girl, bi-a-tch! – Frank yelled, still hanging on Mikey’s back, as Mikey shook his head and laughed, really amused.
- Okay, Iero you won, now get off of my back and go meet your girl – Mikey asked him, and, surprisingly, Frank actually left him alone, coming to hug me by my waist and kiss me passionately.
- Well, if you’re gonna kiss me like this every time you get hyper, I gotta make you feel like that more often – I told him, leaning my forehead against his, and smiling when he peeked on my lips once again; then, he made a subtle move, positioning his lips next to my hear, and I caught my breath, feeling his warm tempting exhalation against my neck.
- I get like this only by your presence, baby – he said, all his joyful mood turning into a sexy desirable one. – You turn me on only by being here.
He kissed my neck slowly and even bitten it, then making a hickey out of it, as I contained a moan on the back of my throat. All of a sudden, I couldn’t sense Mikey in the room with us, I couldn’t remember the anger I had against Wyatt; all I could think and feel and see and breathe was Frank. All my five senses were concentrated on him: I was looking at his beautiful scorpion tattoo, I was feeling every inch of his body, I was smelling his characteristic mixture of cigarettes and what it seemed like cacao, I was hearing his soft moans and sexy words he kept whispering on my ear, and I was tasting the skin of his neck, which I was kissing, licking and biting. That boy, or man, or whatever, was really giving me the chills, turning me on in ways I never thought someone could. Suddenly, I could feel something hitting my lower tummy, and my hand instantly fell in that direction, gently caressing his hard cock.
- Uh, fuck, Tany… - he moaned, as I gently squeezed his erection. – Uh, that… fuck, that feels… uh… good.
- Yeah, babe? Want me to keep doing it? – I asked him, teasing him so much that he couldn’t stop himself of bringing his own lips to mine, kissing me hardly.
As my left hand massaged his erection through his jeans, my right hand moved to the back of his head, holding him exactly where he was, when he tried to move away to kiss my neck; at that moment, I was willing to feel him on my lips instead of on my neck. He got the tip, and moved his hands from my waist to the back of my head, grabbing some of my hair in the way, while making his tongue slid inside my mouth, which I accepted, thirstily. Then, he pushed me back, which made me lean against the wall behind me, with his body strongly leaning on mine; I moved my hand from the front of his jeans, and put it on his ass, squeezing it in the way, as I felt his erection hitting the spot just above my intimate parts. He moved one of his hands from my head, and placed it between my thighs, making me move my legs apart, as he touched me through my jeans; I moaned into his mouth, and he just kept touching me, until I moved my head a little bit away from his lips, whispering:
- I’m gonna jump. – Right after that, I jumped and enlaced my legs across his waist, as he moved both of his hands to my butt, so I wouldn’t fall.
The feeling of his hard dick against my vagina, thought both of our sexual organs were covered with our jeans, was quite exciting, and I couldn’t contain the smooth moan that made its way to my lover’s mouth. My hands were already moving under his shirt, caressing his soft inked skin, and removing his shirt afterwards; as soon as his shirt had disappeared, his lips connected, making a sweet sound for the both of us, but that could be considered gross by others.
- Ew, guys! Quit it! – Gerard say, and Frank and I disconnected instantly, as both our faces went red.
- Grooooss – Chris said, as he looked over to us; I saw him and Gerard looking at Frank’s nude back, and then back at me, and then lock their eyes on his lower back… Oh, fuck, it wasn’t his lower back!
- Stop checking my boyfriend out! – I spat out, even before considering what I said; Frank looked at me, and put me down so he could grab his shirt and dress it; by then, I saw Gee look at the ceiling, and Chris smiling apologetically at me.
Wait… if Gee was checking Frankie out… that meant he was… Oh, gosh.
- Gee, could I talk to you for a second, please? – I asked, smiling, but feeling confused and a little bit angry at the same time.
- Yeah, of course – he said, and followed me into the kitchen.
When we got there, he looked at me questioningly, but I didn’t want to talk right away; I had to analyze a few things first. The first thing I had to think about, was Gee’s behavior: he always was too sassy, and always had some tendencies, but that didn’t exactly mean he was… Okay, moving to the next topic. He had kissed Frank, before; but that argument was invalid, since Frank told me they pretended to be married to try to dismiss people’s tendencies to write “Frerards”; but had Gee really meant it? Third thing: Gee had flushed when talking about Chris, before… did he like him? But wasn’t Frank the bisexual, and Gerard the straight one? Oh, gosh, I should really start talking.
- Gerard, are you gay? – I asked him directly, not wanting this subject to be such a confused thing for me to think about anymore.
He was fighting with himself; I could see it in his eyes. His cheeks went bright read, he was looking everywhere but me, his mouth would open without any sound coming out,… He was definitely gay.
- No, of course not… Where did you get that idea? That’s the most stupid thing I had ever heard! Why would I be gay? I don’t really get why you’re supposing that… - He was talkative as well; too nervous to not being gay.
- Gee, you can stop it. Honestly. I got it, you’re gay, aren’t you? – I asked him calmly, taking his face on my hands and staring straight at his eyes; he couldn’t lie to me while looking into my eyes; that was for sure.
He finally gave in, shrugging his shoulders and relaxing in front of me.
- Yeah, I am – he confessed, and I took my hands off of his face, which made him look at me surprised, thinking I was disgusted or something; to make up for that, I smiled a tiny bit and then caressed his left cheek.
- I won’t judge you, Gee, don’t worry. But I have to ask you one thing, actually – I told him, while moving my hand from his face to my arm, rubbing it up and down, nervously. He nodded at me, so I took a deep breath and talked again, smoothly. – Do you like Frank?
I was staring at his eyes, to see his real reaction before he could hide it, and saw them open wide as I asked him that; then, he burst out laughing.
- No! Why would you think that? – He said, between baby-giggles.
- Well, you were definitely checking him out, earlier, and, besides, you and he already kissed… - I replied, not knowing if they had gotten any further than that.
- Well, when we did that, I liked him, but it passed, Brit, don’t worry. I’m not trying to steal your man, or anything. He’s my best friend, that’s all – Gerard told me, calming me down, and making me even smile.
- Uff, that’s a relief. I really didn’t want to have to fight with you over Frankie – I told him, jokingly.
- Yeah, that’s just ‘cause you know I’d win, after all – he told me back, and I laughed loudly.
- Yeah, you say that ‘cause you haven’t seen Mikey yet! – I told him, and he looked at me curiously. – Hum, I hit him unintentionally today, because of a thing Chris told me… - I explained to him, and I saw as his eyes brightened up when I mentioned Chris, which led me to other question I wanted to ask him. – Oh, by the way, you like Chris?
He tried to hide his guilty reaction, but he wasn’t able to; I had seen it on the very second he had had it.
- No problem, I got it… But I’m warning you Gee, he just got out of a bad broke up, okay? Don’t try to just get in his pants, or I’ll be forced to hurt you on your man thing…
- No! I don’t even think of him that way! Of course he’s beautiful, but for now, I just want to get to know him better, and everything…
- Okay, Gee, but if you are to conquer his heart, and if you two actually get together, I’m warning you, if you hurt him, I’ll break your fucking face off and rip your skin, while you’re alive, and then take that heart away from you – I told him, seriously, and he made a quick nod, scared. – But if it turns out well, I’m gonna be the first to hug you and I’ll be your bridesmaid!
We both started laughing, and then went into the living room, where Frank and Chris looked at our amused faces, totally confused. Gee had one arm around my shoulders, but as soon as we entered the living room, he left me go meet Frank, which I hugged with all my strength.