Next Level

Zacky's Point Of View

The four of us were expecting to be pretty late for school this morning, mainly because of Jay and Kyle hogging the bathroom and slowing all of us down. Most people would expect the gay guys to be the ones spending all of the time in the bathroom, but no, it’s the straight ones. That proves that stereotype wrong, for us at least.

Sometimes when I'm at the school I get this weird feeling inside of my stomach. Just walking down certain corridors is hard for me. At times it’s hard because of all the good memories coming back to me, making me realize that no moments like that will ever happen again.

Going to the new, well, he’s not new now, but he isn't Cole, student mentor is one of the hardest journeys I have to make in the mornings. After everything that’s happened, they make me go and see him still. A lot of my problems are sorted now but the school still thinks I have to have him there to talk to. His name’s Matt; he’s nowhere near as nice as Cole though. He’s a good guy, yeah, but he doesn’t give off the same vibe that Cole did.

He works in the office Cole had. There is a hell of a lot of memories in that room. The only place in the entire school that it’s harder for me to be in is Mr. Markham’s maths room. That’s obviously thanks to Mr. Baker.

I'm with Matt, the student mentor, right now and he’s just telling me a story about his life. I'm not listening, as you might have guessed. He is trying and I'm sure there is some point to what he’s telling me. I suppose I’ll never find it out though.

“Are you alright?” he asked me, most likely noticing how spaced out I am this morning.

“Yup,” I answered, popping the ‘p’ as I spoke.

He nodded his head at me but he didn't seem too sure. He should believe really seeing as there actually isn't anything wrong with me right now. Sure this room can be difficult to be in, but I’ve been putting up with it for months. I'm way over all of that and I accept that this stuff isn't easy for me.

Everything is a challenge but that doesn’t bother me. I like it this way.

“When you seeing your mum or dad again?” he asked me, getting back on track with everything now.

“Mum wants me over at some point this week and I’ll probably see dad at the weekend or something,” I told him, sighing at the idea of having to put up with mum and her family again.

“Anything definite at the moment?”

“Nope,” I smiled at him.

You’ve got to love how ordered my life is. The way I know exactly what I'm doing all of the time. Ha...I wish.

“Promise me you’ll go this time,” he said in a friendly voice though.

He wants me to spend time with my family. He knows we have problems but Matt’s always reminding me that both my mum and dad are welcoming me to be with them now, the only reason I'm not is because I don’t want to be.

They want to see me and Matt wants me to be in contact with both of them as much as possible, so he wasn't best pleased when he found out I’d been skipping going to mum’s for a few weeks now.

What can you do? I have plans and she wasn't letting me do them, so I just didn't turn up. Simples.

“I promise,” I told him. I wasn't sure whether or not I planned on keeping to that to be honest. I’ll try though.

“Okay,” he smiled at me. “You can go back to your lesson now if you want.”

“I’ve got a free,” I grinned, knowing that Zan and Kyle were also on one so we should be able to have a little fun. “And, er, thanks I guess,” I told him.

Even if I don’t like having to go to these stupid things, they do help me to get a lot off my chest, whether it’s the sort of thing Matt would like to know about or not.

I’ve got into the habit of telling him pretty much everything these days. If there’s ever a disagreement or anything back at the flat, I’d tell him about it and he’d give me his view on it all.

It didn't take me long to find Kyle and Zan. In the past they weren’t exactly best friends. I mean, I remember a time when Kyle tried to flush the kid down the bloody toilet, but at the start Zan and I didn't get on either, so it shows how you can change your feelings for a person.

“How was it with Matt?” Kyle asked me, looking like he was hiding something. Although there was something shifty about him right now, he still seemed a lot better than this morning. See what I mean, after a while, morning Kyle just goes back to the normal Kyle again. It’s weird.

“Same old,” I smiled. “How’re things with you two here then?”

“Good,” Zan answered quickly making Kyle roll his eyes.

“What now?” I asked them, knowing something was up from their actions.

“Zan almost got his head kicked in while you were gone,” Kyle said bluntly as he looked down at Zan who was desperately trying to not make eye contact with either of us.

At first his words didn't sink in at all, but when they did, words can’t even describe how angry it made me.

Someone tried to lay their hands on Zander!

He’s so sensitive for God’s sake! No one gets away with touching him in any way!

“What the hell happened?” I asked, not addressing either in particular.

“It...It was n-nothing,” Zan stuttered, instantly making me think the opposite to what he was saying.

I ran my hand through my hair, wanting someone to just answer me. Grr! Then another thought popped into my head, what if he was hurt?

“God,” I sighed. “Look are you alright?” I asked him, bending down slightly to look him in the eye.

“He’s fine,” Kyle answered, making my advert my gaze over to him. “I didn't let the guy near him.”

A sigh of relief escaped my lips. I really wished he’s started with that part.

“Kyle, what happened?” I asked once more, this time hoping for an answer.

“Some guy didn't like the look of him,” he explained. Just that was enough to make me lose it, but I did my best to keep my cool because I wanted to know what else went on. “He started shouting crap over to him and he went to punch him.” I bit down hard on my lip and clenched my fist together. “I got in the way though,” Kyle muttered, “so the guy hit me instead of him, so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

I stopped for a moment. I was so glad Zan didn't get hit, but the way Kyle was talking about it made me think that he thinks I don’t care about him and his well being. Of course I do. Kyle is like my best friend. It’s just I know he can take a punch.

“Where’d he hit you?” I asked quickly, knowing that I needed to show concern quickly. And I was worried, just not as much as I’d be if it was Zan.

“Eye,” he hissed.

I looked at him for a few seconds and now that he’d mentioned it, I could see a bruise starting to form there. Ouch.

“Thanks for doing that Ky,” I whispered gratefully.

“Why are you thanking me?” he asked harshly. “It’s not like I was protecting you.”

The sharpness of his voice caught me off guard but I nodded at him anyway before looking over to Zan to encourage him to say thanks as well.

“He’s already thanked me,” Kyle told me, obviously working out what I was doing. “Not that he needed to,” he added quietly.

“Oh,” I smiled.

Things between the three of us felt a little awkward then. It felt like there was a lot of tension in the air around us. I wanted to say something, but for some reason I wasn't sure how to say it.

Have you ever had it when you just struggle to put what you’re thinking into words? I feel like that now.

“Erm,” I whispered, breaking away some of the awkwardness. “Who did it?” I asked him.

“New kid,” Zander mumbled to answer me.

There’s a new kid here? Since when?

It wasn't long after that that the bell rang, and sure enough, I managed to meet this new kid in my next lesson.