I've Been Waiting Such a Long Time for Someone to Come Along

I shut my phone off after John's third call. That night, I stayed in my room watching chick flicks and eating sour cream and onion chips until four in the morning when I finally drifted off to sleep. To say that I was feeling heartbroken was an understatement. I was feeling an emptiness in my chest that I didn't think could ever be filled.

Most of all though, I was embarrassed beyond belief. I kept replaying that moment in my head. His stupid voice stuttering. Ugh, how dare he make me feel like I'm worth nothing? Who does he think he is?

I stayed in bed all day the next day. I wanted so desperately to get some food but I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. If I did that then I might have to face reality too and I wasn't ready to do so yet.

I watched tv and spent time on the internet as well. I logged onto twitter and scrolled down through my homepage until one of the tweets caught my eye.

Jaredmaine: Last day home!

How could I have forgotten that today was their last day home? I always had a movie night with Garrett and cooked him his favorite dinner on the nights before he left.

It was already four o'clock so I didn't have much time to cover up the fact that I forgot. I stepped out of my room and walked downstairs as I caught sight of Garrett folding his laundry. Of course, why not wait until the last day to pack?

I hurried into the kitchen and started making my famous grilled cheese sloppy joe sandwich. Our mom used to make it for us when we were little, but we just never grew out of it.

"Heya Millie!" I heard as my brother walked into the kitchen and sat on the counter next to me.

"Hey." I replied as I chopped the ground beef.

"Killer Klowns In Outer Space tonight! Are you excited?" He asked giddily.

"Yeah." I nodded, forcing a smile.

"You're looking kind of fat today." He told me.

"Oh, that sucks." I mumbled as I continued cooking the meat.

"Oh my God there's something really wrong with you." He exclaimed, knowing that I would have fought back after his insult normally.

"I don't wanna talk about it, Gare. I don't even want to think about him." I said sadly.

"I'm sorry Mills. But at least you won't have to worry about him for a whole two weeks, right?" He asked, trying to cheer me up.

"I guess." I shrugged.

Garrett sighed, defeated and returned to packing, leaving me alone in the kitchen.

Once I finished the sandwiches I put each one on a plate and carried them into the living room for us. He was lying stretched out on the couch and I was curled into a ball on our recliner. After about two bites of my sandwich I set it down on the coffee table, not having the appetite to finish it.

We were about an hour into the movie I had seen a million times when there was a knock at the door.

"You wanna get that?" Garrett mumbled.

I didn't say anything before getting up and walking to the front door. I looked down at my outfit which consisted of black leggings and my mom's old Alaska State University sweatshirt, and hoped that nobody important was at the door.

I turned the door knob and immediately regretted it as soon as my blue eyes met his green ones. I was about to slam the door on him when he stopped me.

"Wait! Can you please just give me a chance? Five minutes. You can time it." He pleaded.

I glared at him. He looked so stupid with his big smirk in his dumb cowboy boots with his guitar in his hand. Who's he trying to impress?

"Four minutes and fifty-nine seconds." I muttered as I stepped outside, closing the door behind me.

He grinned and struck the chords to his guitar. I knew that song, it was the one he sang to me on the way home from California.

"Here's to words that tell the truth when it's easier to lie
Here's to staring into the sun when you used to close your eyes

I was the dark before the dawn
The voice without a song
The words that came out wrong
But you heard me all along

Untangle me, I'm not looking for a sign
Keep your body next to mine and set me free
Untangle me from these feelings trapped inside
Way out past the smoke and fire is where I'll be

I've been waiting such a long time for someone to come along

Untangle me"

He stood there expecting me to applaud him or something. I mean, I wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him but just looking at him was making me nauseous. I hated how just by sweet talking me and singing me a song he made me want to forgive him so badly.

"Do you, uh, did you like it?" He asked hopefully.

I shrugged indifferently and he put his head down.

"I deserve that." He said, nodding his head and scratching the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, babydoll. I'm so sorry. I know I hurt you and I never wanted to do that but you have to believe that I feel the same way about you, Mills.

I've loved you since that night in the hotel. You're like this drug to me that whenever I'm with you everything is good and I'm not worried about anything else. I don't think that makes sense, but please Millie. I love you." By the end of his speech he was down on one knee pleading with me.

"You've got forty-five seconds." I spoke in a harsh tone as I blinked back some tears.

He loved me. He really loved me back. I was melting on the inside at his words, but it was time to get even. He would never know how it felt to tell someone you love them and have them blow you off. And no matter how hard he tried, he could never take that moment back.

"Millie... I- I'm going nuts without you. I can't stop thinking about you and us and everything and I'm sorry for what-"

"Your time is up." I muttered as I turned to walk back inside.

"Babydoll, please-" He cried, grabbing onto my hand.

"No. Just leave me alone!" I exclaimed, pulling my hand away.

I opened the door and right before I slammed it shut I heard him utter the words, "I'll never leave you alone."

I returned to the living room trying to stay composed in front of my brother.

"Who was it?" He asked.

"Nobody." I replied in a shaky breath.

He didn't notice as he shrugged and returned to watching the movie.

As soon as the credits started to roll I claimed I had a stomach ache and retired to my room once more.

I hated leaving things so bad with him, but I couldn't forgive him. It just wasn't going to happen.

I tossed and turned all night. I can't even remember whether or not I ever got to sleep. Garrett came in that morning to say goodbye, but I pretended to be asleep. He stood in my doorway arguing with John afterwards.

"I just want to say goodbye. Please?" He begged.

"No. You completely fucked her over. She deserves better than you." Garrett spat.

"I know that, alright? But I just want to say goodbye. I need to see her one more time before we go. I just have to." His voice cracked at the end and I knew Garrett would give in.

"Fine. But make it quick." He said. "And don't wake her up."

I heard footsteps coming towards me and stayed completely still hoping to not give away the fact that I was awake.

"I know you're up, but you don't have to talk to me." He sighed.

My eyes fluttered open and I looked up at him. He was wearing his favorite dark gray skinny jeans and a white t-shirt. He looked like he hadn't slept all night, which was probably similar to how I looked at the moment. It was heard not to feel guilty for the night before.

"I didn't want to leave things badly with you, but I don't see you forgiving me in the near future so I'll just let you know that I still want to propose when I get home...if you're still going to help me, that is." He rambled, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Fine." I responded.

He stood there for awhile looking at me when we heard the van horn honk.

"I guess I should get going, then..." He trailed off as he turned to leave. "I love you."

I didn't say it back.