I've Been Waiting Such a Long Time for Someone to Come Along

Thanks cutie pie.

I received the text a little after two in the morning. Excitement and happiness rushed through my veins. She likes the cookies! I sat up in the hotel bed and grabbed my laptop. I logged onto Twitter and updated.

I cracked concrete falling down for you

I knew she would love that if she ever looked at it. She was always listening to that song. I grinned as I looked at the message again. I am head over heels in love with this girl. She can control my feelings with a three word text. I kept staring at it in awe.

Wait. What if she's just playing games with me? Maybe the text was her way of building me up and then when I get back home she's just going to tear me down again. That would be good revenge. And I do deserve it.

I decided to reply to the message with a daring question.

Are we good?

I waited for what felt like hours until she replied.

Maybe.

I smirked at the response. It was so Millie to keep me on edge like this. She definitely wasn't tricking me. I quickly texted back.

I love you so fucking much.

It was simple and raw. It was the exact way I felt. She had torn me to pieces in a way that nobody else could. When I wasn't around her, I was thinking about her. Everybody else bored me because they weren't her. I went through great lengths to bring her up in almost every conversation to the point where the guys started to make fun of me. I didn't care. The only opinion that mattered anymore was hers. She took over my brain. All of my thoughts revolved around her to the point it made me a little bit sick. I guess that's where the phrase lovesick came from.

After twenty minutes I assumed that I wasn't getting a reply and attempted to fall asleep. I was barely awake when my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID and gasped before quickly answering it.

"Hello!?" I asked.

"Hey..." She replied.

I sighed at the sound of her voice.

"Is this a bad time?" She asked, sounding groggy.

"No! Not at all. Just let me step outside so I don't wake anybody up." I told her as I slipped out onto the balcony. "What's up?"

"I don't feel good." She replied. "And I wanted to hear your voice."

"What's wrong babydoll?" I asked, extremely concerned.

"I drank expired milk with the cookies." She explained. "Don't laugh."

"I wasn't gonna laugh, baby." I lied, trying to hide the chuckle in my voice.

"You're lying." She pouted. "It's your fault."

"How is it my fault?" I cried, looking up at the moon.

"If you didn't buy me those cookies then I wouldn't have needed milk!" She exclaimed.

I bit my lip knowing she was right. I immediately felt bad for inadvertently poisoning her.

"I'm sorry." I apologized sincerely.

"It's alright. I just figured I would yell at you since no one else cares." She sighed.

"What about Trey?" I asked.

"He's out of town." She answered. "And by the way, this still doesn't mean that I forgive you."

My heart sunk in my chest. All the giddiness I had been feeling was quickly drained.

"Oh." I said. "Millie-"

"I don't want to talk about this now. I want to wait until you're home and we can talk face to face with no misunderstandings, alright?" She said.

"Yeah, that's a good idea, but I just-" I groaned. "I've been thinking about you nonstop! I can't get you out of my mind. Everything reminds me of you in some way and I know I fucked up so badly, but Millie I love you. I'm so in love with you that it's creepy! And I'll never be able to take back what happened, we both know that, but I can make up for it in the future. I love you and I want to be with you. I know that we can make this work... Say something!" I pleaded.

"I don't know what to say..." She responded.

"Say that you love me too." I whispered.

"This was a bad idea." She blurted out. "I have to go. I'll-"

"No!" I exclaimed. "Just talk to me, God dammit! I fucking poured my heart out to you!"

"I'll talk to you when you get back." She said.

And then she hung up.

"Fuck no." I muttered, calling her back.

It went straight to voicemail.

"Fuck!" I shouted, pulling at my hair.

I heard the door open behind me and Garrett stepped out.

"What's all the damn noise about?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Millie called me." I mumbled.

He didn't say anything. Throughout the whole tour he made it very clear that I did not deserve his sister. And I didn't. Not by a long shot.

"I love her." I told him honestly.

"She told me everything." He said.

"What?"

"She told me about everything between you two." He repeated.

I leaned on the banister and sighed.

"Even the sex?" I asked.

"Ew! Gross! Don't ever say that shit again man!" He cried. "No, just about your whole plan and stuff."

"I'm sorry, alright? At first it was just a plan and then she started acting so sweet to me and even though it was fake, I wanted it to be real. The way she makes me feel is... It's just crazy. I'm so happy whenever she's around. I don't have to worry about what I say or do. I can just be myself and she loves me for it. She doesn't judge me or the things I do. She makes me feel high. And she's so amazing. Everything she does is adorable. I love her so much that it hurts. When she kisses me my breathing is all-"

"Okay dude I get it." He said, cutting me off. "But maybe if you love her that much you should let her go. You and I both know that you could never give her what she needs."

"But I think-"

"John, we tour over half the year. She deserves more than that from a guy." He told me.

"But-"

"No dude. Just let her go. It'll be easier that way." He said as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded and looked down.

"Alright."

I went to bed that night dreaming about the girl I had to let go. The next day I woke up without sending her a good morning text. In fact, I didn't text her the whole day. But damn, I wanted to.

That didn't stop me from Facebook stalking her, though. At least then I could look at her beautiful face.

That night I did something that I hadn't done since the last time she was mad at me. I drank myself into oblivion and passed out.

Not even whiskey could numb the pain in my heart.