Have You Ever Really Danced On the Edge?

The next few days, I’m freaking out. I’m afraid that Mike will tell Vic – creating more drama. I know I haven’t done anything to exactly help the drama situation, but that would have been the bomb.

And, of course, my luck was as shitty as ever. Taylor and Jaime had planned a game-night and of course, PTV was indeed coming. I don’t know how it was going to work, as three of the four boys weren’t talking to me. But I was way too scared to object to Taylor because she was in frenzy. It was Saturday, which was chore day. Before any board games could be played, we had to clean.

And Taylor is one of those freaks who can’t stand a dirty house. I, on the other hand, am perfectly happy in my mess. It was like a clean mess – everything important was accessible, though clothes remained littered on the floor. I had made a path to my bed: what more could I ever need?

But Taylor told me that I had to clean otherwise I would be kicked out. I wasn’t taking chances.

I couldn’t clean without music. Feeling brave enough, I started going through Taylor’s CD rack. As neat as Taylor is, it was in alphabetic order. Knowing this, I went straight for ‘P’. To my delight, I found a CD by Pierce the Veil. I took it out of the rack and examined the album. In a somewhat theatric font stated PIERCE THE VEIL on the front, and a depressed-looking bride. Underneath the band name, in cursive writing was ‘A Flair for the Dramatic’.

I didn’t waste anymore time, instead plunking the CD into the stereo quickly. I made sure the volume was high enough and pressed play. There was a moment – a very brief moment – of silence before the first song started. I gulped, anxious and excited. Then, music started.

It was kind of eerie. Then Vic’s voice calmly started to sing,

Like a rush shot through you
Everyone is watching you

After that, the drums kicked in, and I imagined Mike. I loved it.

Told you why I see no need for the sun
I've found a reason to say
A love you light is a love seen gone

I quickly hit the next button, wanting more. The next song had more of a driving force, the drums adding urgency. This time, screaming greeted me. At first, I was a little afraid – taken aback, but soon I fell in love with that song too. One verse in particular hit me:

Please understand me when
I'd rather see you dead
Than live without me, so thirsty for more
Beyond the sea blue light I met the love of my life
She'd rather see me dead than face me
I like your starry eyes,
They yell surprise! Surprise!
I'm in love...but not for long

After hearing that, I got chills. It was like Vic was talking to me. However, of course, he didn’t know me while he was writing this album. I wondered who he could have been talking to, or the perspective of the song. Vic was a very talented songwriter; his music really spoke volumes. I listened to the song and realized its perfection lyrically, finding new favorite sections. I listened to it a third time and found several other things I loved about the song.

It was beautiful. I sat in front of my stereo, in a daze. I felt my heart swell for Vic, to respect him for his talent despite everything, and I felt filled. Is that weird? Is that lame? Vic’s music made me feel something, and I guess I didn’t realize music could do that.

I didn’t like Pierce the Veil’s genre, to be honest. I listened to Norah Jones, Ben Folds, etc. But they didn’t measure up.

I skipped a few songs until I stopped on one that jumped out at me. I looked at the back of the CD and saw it was called ‘Diamonds and Why Men Buy Them’.

Oh no, here we go again

Then, I heard this, and froze:

Now you say that I never bother you the way he did
Bow open eyes
Now I saw the moon divorce the sky tonight
This remedy is worse than the disease
And slowly killing me
We like to run our blood thin
And laugh at things we never did.

We like to run our blood thin
And laugh at things
Resay, say hello
Now you say,
We’re better off that way
Now I saw the moon divorce the sky
Is this what its like?

“What are you doing?” I suddenly hear, and I reach out and jab the ‘stop’ button. It’s Mike.

My heart is racing, “What? I’m cleaning,” I snap defensively.

Mike just deadpans, “No you’re not.”

“Yes,” I seethe slightly, “I am. Now leave so I can clean before you and your band mates come over and ignore me.”

I thought I saw Mike’s expression soften but it goes anonymous again, “Were you listening to A Flair?”

“A what? No, never heard it.” I lie but Mike only blinks.

Then he kind of grins, “Okay. Whatever you say, Annie. You’re weird. But that’s not what I came up here to say.” He pauses and looks at me. I raise my eyebrows, inclining him to go on. He does, “I actually want to know if you’ve told Vic about Brandon yet.”

I feel a stabbing of guilt hitting my stomach, making the rest of my organs quiver.

I look away, and Mike notices my hesitation. I hear him sigh before looking him in the eyes, though it’s hard. “No,” I finally announce, “I haven’t really said anything quite yet.”

“Well,” Mike starts impatiently. “Quit waiting around like a coward. You need to tell him, Anna. He’s been quite the mess since you haven’t been talking. And he misses you, a lot. Not just you as his girlfriend, but you as his friend. Please make amends. I’m sick of trying to console that depressed bastard.”

It sounded like Mike was fed up with Vic’s behavior but also trying to protect him at the same time. Which was actually very lovely of Mike, despite the difficult task of telling Vic about Brandon.

I bow my head in shame and defeat, “I understand Mike. I just need to summon up the right words. I promise, it’ll happen in good time.”

Mike’s eyes soften and he smiles nicely at me, possibly genuine for the first time in at least a week and a half. “Okay, I’m trusting you to do the right thing, Anna.” He pauses and then looks ashamed, “Oh my fucking God, I am the biggest idiot ever, forget those words ever came out of my mouth.”

I laugh at the look on his face. “You need whiskey, Mike.”

He laughs as well, “Yeah, I really do!”

We both smile at each other: a sign of a renewed friendship. Slowly but surely Mike would forgive me, I knew it. He had a little weakness for petite blond haired, blue-eyed girls.

- - -

The party had started, the awkwardness seeping in. After all, it was hard to play a board game when half the players weren't speaking to you.

Suddenly I feel my phone buzz. I check the screen and see that it's Laura. At first I'm puzzled but then I remember that I asked her to text me about Brandon’s behavior at parties.

I had asked that of her earlier this month so the random text scared me. Was she texting something about Brandon, after we'd just finally made amends and things were looking up?

My phone buzzes again; annoyed I haven’t opened the message. I excuse myself from our current game (Life) and proceed to my bedroom. I close my eyes, say a quick prayer, and open it.

Hey Anna! Saw Brandon last nite at a party, he got pretty drunk but was yelling about u. How pretty u r and how lucky he is 2 have u. Miss u!

I smile, despite myself. Well, maybe things were going to continue to look up! I slide open my keyboard on my phone and respond quickly.

Hey Laura! Thanks so much for texting me that, it made me smile. I'm surprised you remembered to keep an eye on bran! But thank you... Miss you too!

Instantly, I get a text back - Laura was never separated from her phone.

No prob! I know how u feel, and u r so far away from WI... More cute updates soon, there's a party at Ian’s in a week! Lol! I will talk 2 u soon. Xoxoxo!!!

I reply: okay Laura! Haha, you're the best. Behave! I will see you soon, xo

I close my phone and set it off to the side, feeling satisfied. I felt happy in my choice to give Brandon a second try. I knew it hurt Vic, but he only had a little crush on me. He didn't really even know me. I did regret it though.

- - -

I was sitting on my bed thinking when Vic knocked on my door. His knocks were small and meek; he must be scared. But so was I.

I was kind of shocked to see him, as I didn't anticipate speaking to him for a while. "Hey Vic," I try to say cheerfully.

He too tries to carry on the slight (fake) happiness with a small smile. "Hi."

"What’s up?" I ask, and sit up on my bed. Vic takes the hint and glides softly into my room. He only takes two steps in though, as if my room is infected. But I understand his uncertainty.

“Nothing. We’re about to start Monopoly if you want to join us,” He looks away from me. I look away as well, feeling the tension.

“Oh, did Taylor send you up?” I ask, knowing how bossy she was when we all got together.

Vic smiles – he’s thinking about that too, “Yeah.”

“Okay, cool, I’ll be right down.” I say and slightly play with my phone.

Vic stands in the doorway for several more seconds and then says somewhat bravely, “Can we still be friends?”

I shrug; I wasn’t ready for that! “Yeah, I mean… if you still want to be…”

Vic also shrugs, “I mean, I do…”

“You don’t sound so sure,” I say somewhat sarcastically but Vic just blinks. Wait, so he’s not actually sure if he wants to be my friend? “We could start over. Like we didn’t even know each other. Forget about everything that happened before, would you like that?”

Vic hesitates, “Okay. Let’s try that.”

We meet in the middle of my room, and I extend my hand. Vic is slower to extend his, but eventually they meet and the shaking proceeds. I look him in the eye, and smile. “Hi, Vic, I don’t think we’ve met yet, but I’m Anna. I’m Taylor Morrison’s sister.”

Vic chuckles, “Oh? Is that so? Well, I’m Vic Fuentes aka Vic Nasty. How do you do?”

“Come on, let’s go downstairs,” I say and break the handshake. “I’ve got a freaking Monopoly game to dominate!” I laugh and bump Vic’s side playfully.

He doesn’t react, but looks down and continues to walk beside me.

I laugh and continue to joke; obviously unaware of how uncertain Vic really is, of how things were going to be turned upside down. And I definitely wasn’t going to be laughing then.