Have You Ever Really Danced On the Edge?

It was seven in the morning. Taylor was wide-awake, already showered and eating a muffin. I, being the graceful morning person I am, scowl at her while looking at her through squinting eyes. It was too early to fully open them. “What are you doing up, Taylor?”

Taylor smiles, pulling her blonde hair back into a low ponytail. “Oh! Hi Annie-bear!” Taylor, the total opposite of me, is a morning person. I wanted to murder her. “I have an interview at the guys’ record label…” Taylor went on, rambling about the job description and other crap I did not care about.

I turn around and cuddle deeper into the blankets. “Oh? Really? Cool, I’m sleeping now.”

Taylor slaps my butt and steps over me to the door, “Boo, you whore! Now Annie, I am going to be gone for most of the day, Jaime is picking me up afterward and we’re hanging out for the day. I don’t know what happened with you and Victor yesterday, but I’m expecting you to be on your best behavior with the boys today. Can you handle it?”

I grunt in response and Taylor gladly accepts it, “Good. Now wish me luck and I’ll see you at dinnertime.” I grunt again as the door slams, signaling Taylor’s departure. I fell asleep; barely recognizing I would be without Taylor with boys I just met the day prior.

- - - -

“Mikey, you wake her up…”

“Dude, no way. I saw the way she glared at you… I’m not getting on her bad side…”

“Just kind of, you know, shake her or something!”

“Tony…dude, what should we do?”

“Guys, I’m really scared. Maybe we should call Taylor and ask her what to do.”

“God Vic, it’s not like she needs medical attention or some shit.”

“Mike… what are you doing? No don’t –“

Suddenly, a body is covering mine. “ANNABEL SHOULD WAKE UP! WE’VE GOT THINGS TO DO, PLACES TO SEE! WAKEY, WAKEY!”

I open my eyes, grunting, seeing tattooed arms flailing over my body. Mike is balancing on my back with his belly; his arms and legs stretched out like the airplane position. I see Vic and Tony watching with eyes wide. They looked scared for my reaction. Mike obviously stepped up his game in order to get the monster (that being me) awake. I was impressed.

“Mike,” I snap, “I’m up! I’m up!”

“Hello, sleepyhead!” Mike laughs into my ear. I feel his lip ring and I can’t help but smile.

“Hi guys,” I say and sit up, Mike topples off me and puts his arm around me. “What’s the game-plan for today?” I smile at Vic and Tony, but only Tony smiles back. I guess I understand the hostility though.

“Well, since your sister has so kindly trusted us with your care –“ I scoff at this – “I thought we could show you around town, maybe show you the campus? Anything you want! All I know is that the temperature is going to reach like, 100 today so we are definitely getting gelato."

Tony whoops and high-fives Vic, who smiles slightly. "I love gelato!" Tony tells me, "so go get ready and then we can go already!"

"Alright, alright, guys. I'll hurry!" I say and run into the bathroom. I shower quickly and comb through my wet hair. I let it air-dry to its natural wave, curl my eyelashes, put a bit of mascara on, and dress casually in a black tank top and jean shorts. The three boys are waiting patiently in the living room and I hear small bouts of laughter. I remember how mean I was to Vic and cringe. I felt like an idiot. I was so confused and I honestly didn't know what to think or how to act. I just had to grow the fuck up and not let my boyfriend walk all over me. I felt slightly more confident, my pep-talk working. However, when Brandon called again, I would probably allow him to change my mind and walk all over me.

I frown to myself and vow to not let that get the best of me today. Today was all about spending time with the boys I knew would be good friends, and possibly make amends with Vic. I smile to myself in the mirror and gave myself thumbs up for good luck.

"Finally you're ready!" Mike exclaims as I walk into the living room where they were waiting.

"Hey, hey! It takes time for me to be this beautiful, Michael."

Tony quips, "I think you're naturally pretty, Anna." I giggle and ruffle Tony’s hair as Vic mumbles, "suck up." Mike hears and fist pounds with Vic.

"and that, Mr. Perry, is why you're my favorite!" I feel Vic's eyes on me as we joke and I bring my eyes to his. He looks away quickly, and bites his lip.

I try not to think about how cute he looks when he does that as we slip out into the humid San Diego air.

---

The boys had shown me around the campus, showing me the different buildings and local spots like cafes as well as an arcade (Mike’s idea). Things were going really well.

I loved Mike’s sense of humor and how kind Tony was. Vic was silent, for the most part. He probably felt as awkward as I did, not knowing how to act.

I found myself watching Vic more I should. I noticed how straight his teeth were, how he was almost always biting his lip, and how pretty his brown eyes looked whenever he laughed.

"So, Anna, what do you think?" a voice ripped men from my thoughts, as usual. It was Tony, looking at me.

"Um..."

Vic speaks up shyly, "he asked you if you wanted to see the little venue we usually play. It's a little bit of a walk from campus...but if you don't want to..."

"no!" I nearly shout, "I would love to!" the boys all grin at my excitement.

We begin the walk with Tony and Mike walking ahead of us, talking excitedly about the venue. "Yeah I was 17 when we first played it! I'm 26 now!"

Tony and Mike were several feet ahead of us by now. Every fiber of my being was aware that Vic was only mere inches away from me. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He looked just as nervous.

"Well," Vic began, "we started playing there as Early Times, with me and Mike. We even got signed because of a show we did there, so it means a lot to us. By then, we changed our name to Before Today. In 2006 we disbanded. It was just me and Mike, we wrote a Flair for the Dramatic with Casey Bates.”

He pauses while I say, “Wow! Just you and Mike?”

“Yeah, just me and Mikes,” Vic confirms. He goes on, “Then we met Tony and Jaime and the rest is history. We really love that venue; I’m excited for you to see it. You’ll love it, I’m sure.”

"Wow, so you've been around a while. You’re experienced in all this band stuff," I smile shyly.

There’s a pause, a lull. Vic just looks at me. "Well, I am like 35 or whatever." He quoted me from when I insulted him on the porch.

OH GOD…NO. I feel my cheeks heat up. "Oh, Vic, please don't--"

"and I'm such a fucking douche! I thought we were getting along too!"

"I was just scared because--"

Vic raises his voice over mine, "bullshit! Bullshit, Anna! I heard your conversation with your boyfriend! That punk walks all over you! I know you deserve better!"

I blink at this. “Vic, please. You really don’t know anything about Brandon. He’s really trying…” Vic scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Sure, sure. Whatever. You can stay with that douche, it’s whatever Anna, and I could care less. But just know that I totally would have given you a chance. I thought I felt something when we were hanging out on my porch… but obviously I thought wrong.” Vic ends his speech. I pale.

“Vic, you don’t mean that –“

“The hell I don’t, Annabel. Whatever. I’m fine—“

“No, I—“

“Tony and Mike are probably already halfway to the venue, it’s a long walk,” Vic states, “Let’s hurry it up.”

He begins walking faster and I have to jog to keep up. We don’t say a single word the rest of the way there.

- - - -

The venue was cool, Mike even got up on the stage and showed me how he played the drums. He just kind of flailed his lanky arms around and banged his head a lot. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Vic stayed more than three feet away from me at all times. I felt like my heart was going to drop out of my butt. Tony noticed, of course. We began walking back, Tony purposely hanging back with me.

He put his arm around me in a comforting manner. “It’s just because he likes you, but you have a boyfriend. A boyfriend that is a huge jackass, by the way,” Tony says, smiling.

I roll my eyes, “how would you know, Tony?”

“Taylor filled us in while you were on the phone with him last night. I know it might be awkward because you don’t know what to do. And Vic has had girlfriends before, he just… he hasn’t really felt the way he feels about you.”

“But, but Tony! Vic just met me, he doesn’t know anything about me!” I insist, throwing my hands up in a surrendering motion.

“I know, that’s why he’s so… shocked kind of. He doesn’t know what to do. It’s kind of weird for him to act this way. And I know you like him too, Anna. Don’t lie to me!”

“I…well, I mean, he’s cute… and pretty nice…” I admit.

Tony squeezes my shoulder, “Well. That’s a start. Things will all fall into place, I can promise you that.”

Tony had a point. However, none of us had any clue that it would take a long, long time before anything fell into place, or how much pain it would take, either.