That Bitch With The Notebook

“Have you ever really regretted something?

“Yeah. Agreeing to do this interview…”

You know what? Do you know what?

This sucks.

Lying, is not as much fun as it’s cracked up to be. And that’s what we’re doing. I don’t understand how Gerard can say he loves me and then suddenly go back to Bert. That doesn’t make sense at all. And I’m right. He’s a fucking lunatic, because he wants to not attract attention to our relationship. So he does it… by dry-humping Bert on the sofa next to me and Mikey when we try oh-so hard to play Mario kart.

These lies will end badly and I’ll regret them, I just know it.

It’s just not fair. You’re not supposed to lie about love. You’re supposed to treasure it, and Gerard isn’t… treasuring it I mean.

I know he doesn’t love Bert, he told me. But it still hurts.

“Oh, Bert…”

Please, for the love of God, put me out of my misery.

“Gerarrrrrrd…”

“Bert…”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, will you shut up?” I yell, startling the two from their embrace. Gee immediately turns red, ashamed of himself for getting in too deep with Bert, but Bert just smirks at me smugly and tuts.

“Frankie’s jealous,” he purrs in that oddly alluring way he has that charms anyone… and I mean anyone. I mean. He’s not the pick of the bunch.

“No, I just-” I stutter, seriously unable to formulate actual sentences as the blood seems to have rushed to my cheeks and I know I’m the colour of a beetroot. Damn it, stupid body.

“It’s okay to be jealous Frankie, I can’t stop you wanting Gee when you know, and I know and hell, even Gee knows, that he’ll never be yours, and Gee is thick as pig shit, yet he still knows, don’t you babe?” Bert says, his teeth bared.

Come on Gee… stand up for me, for once… Stand up for yourself!

“Yeah…” he mutters, apologetically to me.

That bastard.

I stand up abruptly. This room is too hot and it feels like the walls are closing in; I feel like I could die.

You know what? I’ve been the model boyfriend, and he does that. I’ve tried to be perfect, and you know what, that just doesn’t work.

Because at the end of the day, there must be something about me that Gee doesn’t like, I mean, it would help if I wasn’t so disgusting looking. But Gee doesn’t care how I look… does he?

I look around the room, Gee follows my gaze.

“I’m leaving,” I say, staring at him meaningfully, “See you later…”

I grab my stuff and go to the door, throwing it open with all my energy.

“Frankie! You’ve forgotten something!” I hear Gee call, his bumbling footsteps approaching. I swing around. Surely, he’ll kiss me, just like in the rain…

He stretches his hand out and drops something shiny into my hand.

“You’re such a scatter brain sometimes,” he grins, ruffling my hair before scampering into Bert’s arms.

I look down.
My keys.
I forgot my keys.