Glass Hearts Shattering

This is not your typical ‘boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy and girl live happily ever after’ story. Maybe it should be, and maybe the boy deserved it, but that wasn’t how it happened. The boy wasn’t that lucky, and maybe the boy would never be that lucky.

The boy was painfully awkward. Every single thing about him was awkward. He had an awful time talking to the opposite sex, but when he did it usually ended badly. He hated going on dates because he hated finding topics that they had in common. He hated the awkward silences. He just hated dating.

Of course, that was before he met Kaylee. Kaylee changed everything.

Kaylee was loud, which was completely different from him. He wasn’t shy, necessarily, he just wasn’t as outgoing as she was. He wasn’t sure anyone was as outgoing as she was, though. Kaylee had a big personality, and she let it show. She loved music of all kinds, and she loved to dance--not professionally of course, but in her underwear around her room. She loved puppies and while she had her own flat, she had yet to own such a thing. She was extremely friendly, as well. There wasn’t a person around that was an enemy of Kaylee. She was completely different from any other girl Josh had dated, that much he was sure of.

He guessed that was why it ended like it did. He was pretty positive that Kaylee’s personality just didn’t equal up to a person who could have a serious relationship, not like him. Josh wanted nothing more than a serious relationship, and sadly this fact had made him fall fast and hard for Kaylee. Too fast, and probably too hard.

This is not your typical love story. He is not just a boy, and she is not just a girl. Josh is the boy and Kaylee is the girl, and their story is anything but typical.

***

You’re torturing me with a beautiful face...

Kaylee was gorgeous, and that could never be denied. Josh was certain that it was inhumane to be so gorgeous and yet so completely unaware of your beauty. It was torturous in a way. He hated having to see her so often, strutting around gracefully and easily as if she wasn’t broken hearted like he was.

She had to be broken hearted, right? This couldn’t be a one way street that only Josh was walking down. Right?

He wanted to hate her, too. He wanted to despise her and he wanted his friends and everyone he knew to hate her as well. But that just wasn’t how it was going to work.

As he watched her from across the room, laughing and smiling and having a good time, he knew two things for sure: one was that she clearly was not hurting at all, and another was that no one but Josh hated her.

As he sipped his beer from the red plastic cup in his hands ever so slowly, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the blonde haired beauty standing on the opposite side of the room from him. He watched as she chatted up his friends, his bandmates.

His stomach turned just watching her. He wanted to go over there and tell her a thing or two, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good. When Kaylee made up her mind about something, that was it.

Just as he was about to crush his cup in frustration, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to the right and saw Max standing there. “You alright mate?”

He merely grunted in response. “She just won’t fucking leave,” he growled under his breath.

Max sighed. “You went out with the bird for too long for her to just disappear, Josh. You know that, I know that. Common knowledge, mate.”

“It should be common knowledge that they’re my mates, not hers. We didn’t go out for that long, Max.”

He shrugged in response to his friend. “Just don’t bite her head off, yeah?”

Josh grunted again. He would bite her head off if he damn well pleased, She didn’t deserve any necessities.

Max sighed and left his friend to stew alone. It was what Josh did best these days, he noticed.

Just as Josh was about to actually look away from Kaylee, she turned her head and caught his gaze. Then it was like he physically couldn’t look away. She said a few words to Matt and Dan, and then she was headed towards Josh. Her long strides had her reaching him in no time. “Can I help you, Kaylee?” he spat, taking the last sip of his beer.

She sighed, crossing her perfect arms in front of her perfect chest. She tilted her perfect head to the side before saying, “What’s the matter with you, Josh? I thought we agreed to be friends.”

He scoffed. “I don’t think I ever agreed to be friends with you, Kay. I’m not sure I’d ever agree to that, actually.”

“You’re being a drama king, Joshua. We’re two mature adults who had a thing but we broke up, so now I think we could at least be friends. Don’t you?”

“You’re mental if you first of all think we just had a ‘thing’,” he informed her, putting air quotes around the last word. “Second of all, if you think we could be friends then you’re even more mental than I thought.”

“You’re causing a scene,” she hissed, grabbing his wrist tightly and dragging him through the house. They went up the stairs and into the first empty bedroom they could find. She slammed the door behind her and then turned to face Josh, her arms crossed in front of her again. “If you want to yell at me, do it now. In private, where every single one of our friends isn’t around to watch.”

Our friends. That did Josh in. “They aren’t our friends!” he yelled. “They’re mine! And honestly Kaylee? I’m sick of you being around so much.”

She scowled at this. It was funny, Josh noticed, because Kaylee hardly ever scowled. She hardly ever got angry, and yet here she was, both angry and scowling and all because of Josh.

“You know Joshua, you sure are a selfish prick.”

He scoffed again, this time in shock, and pointed at his chest. “I’m a selfish prick? How so, Kaylee?”

“They’re your friends, but guess what? After dating you for over a year, they became mine too. And I’m sorry if you can’t handle that, but just because--”

He cut her off with his lips. He couldn’t help it. Kaylee was impossible to resist, even when she was yelling at him. She was just so perfect, and no matter what she did, Josh couldn’t hate her.

She wasn’t exactly resisting either though. Her hands went to his hair and raked through the mess, while he backed her against the closed door. He took his lips away from hers and brought them down to her neck, nipping the skin gently like he knew she liked. And when she released a quiet moan, he knew she hadn’t changed much.

Her fingers slipped under his t-shirt and grazed over his skin while his did the same to her body, only they resulted in a much different effect. Shivers traveled up her spine and goosebumps appeared on every inch of her exposed skin. “Josh,” she moaned just as he nipped at a spot right under her ear. “Hold on.”

She tried to pull away from him, but he was too consumed in her. His consumption just wrapped her up and resulted in her being just as consumed. It was hard not to be, though. When passion this intense built up, not much could stop it, especially not two past lovers.

The two made their way over to the bed in the middle of the room, and that was when clothes started to be shed. The sweater that had once covered Kaylee’s body was stripped and thrown off carelessly, while Josh’s t-shirt was pulled from his body and thrown away as well. When the two were in nothing but their underwear, they traveled under the covers.

When they finished, Kaylee collapsed beside him, her arms finding their way around Josh’s waist while she closed her eyes and started to drift off to dream world.

Josh wasn’t nearly as peaceful though. In fact, he was restless, and sleeping was the last thing on his mind.

I still can’t believe how you look next to me, just like a strip club bedroom scene...

She was so beautiful. And while he had loved Kaylee at one point not too long ago, and while he may even still love her while he laid next to her, he knew he couldn’t have her. Kaylee was not his, and she may never be his. And while that hurt him more than she would ever know, he knew it was the truth.

He sighed and gently rolled out of the bed. He gathered his clothes and just as he was slipping his jeans on, Kaylee awoke again. She rolled over so she was facing him, and even though it was dark in the room he knew that the look on her face was not a pleasant one. “Where are you going?” she asked, genuinely confused.

“I’m leaving, Kay. I can’t do this,” he mumbled, reaching through his t-shirt so that it was right-side out before he slipped it over his head. He raked his fingers through his hair and shook it out. He stopped then to look at her, really look at her.

“Josh, you can’t just leave. We just had sex again for the first time in months. We have to talk.”

He shook his head. “No we don’t, Kay. There’s nothing to talk about. You and I were nothing more than a physical relationship, and as much as I thought I loved you, as much as I think I still do love you, I can’t do this. You can’t do this,” he corrected.

Her jaw dropped as she sat up in the bed, wrapping the sheet tighter around her body. “What do you mean I can’t do this Josh?”

“You aren’t capable of having a relationship, Kaylee,” he admitted. “Or maybe you are, but not with me.” He quickly thought back to the past year of their relationship and realized what he said was true. It was never like they were a true couple, but more like they were having fun--or rather, like Kaylee was having fun, and Josh was in way over his head. “You don’t want a serious relationship, not with me, and that’s exactly what I do want.”

She sighed, and deflated visibly on the bed. “I don’t want to lose you or the guys though, Josh. I need my friends.”

He shook his head adamantly. This was the part of the argument where everything turned sour, but this was also the most important part. Kaylee had to hear exactly what he was saying.

“That’s the problem, Kay. I do still love you, and I don’t think you realized just how much it hurts when I see you around all the time, so fucking happy and perfect and you. I guess I know it’s not your fault,” he reasoned, not wanting to sound like too much of a prick, “but I just can’t deal with it.”

“So what do you mean?”

“These are my mates, Kaylee. If what we have is really over--and it is--then I’m going to need help from them, because I did love you, Kay. I was head over heels mental for you.”

He watched as her lip quivered slightly. He hadn’t wanted to upset her, but then again this was a break-up, and it was her turn to hurt.

It was funny though, because she had never heard this before. Kaylee wasn’t the one who got broken up with; Kaylee was the one who broke up with people. And now that she was hearing it, it hurt. Now she knew why she wasn’t into serious relationships.

“Just... stay away from my friends, Kaylee. Please,” he said one more time.

She simply nodded, because honestly, what else could she do?

They were quiet for a few more minutes, just staring at each other. Josh took a few steps towards her and gave her a short kiss on the forehead before turning on his heel to leave. When he got outside into the hallway, he paused again with the door closed and leaned against it to steady himself. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, counting down to ten before feeling like he was ready.

He walked down the hall and back to the party, having a hard time getting rid of the feeling that he had just left behind one of the best things in his life thus far.

He tried his best to shake it off though, and went in search of his mates. He needed a few good drinks, but first, he needed to get far away from this party.