All Time Trouble

“KAYDEN!” I turned around and looked for the person who was shouting for me.

“Kayden! Where are you?” they hollered again.

“WHERE ARE YOU?!” I yelled spinning in circles and the others laughed at me. I realized that it was Zack calling me because Jack and Rian were sitting on totes, Alex and Matt where playing with light sabers, and I don’t think Jayde can make her voice go that low.
I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and stopped me from spinning but turned me around and I was now looking at Zack as he kept his hands on my shoulders for a minute to make sure I had his full attention, then he and started talking so fast the only things I could hear him say clearly was my name, ‘you’ ‘home’ ‘long time’ ‘me’ ‘can’t take it’ and when I heard that I got a little scared and my heart started to race. I didn’t want to hear what was going to come after that and was going to stop him but I saw Jayde come back to the booth and she walked but Zack and I slowly with her arms folded against her chest and had a determined look on her face and I gave her a confused look. Zack noticed I wasn’t looking at him so he turned my face gently back towards his and started rambling again and was making gestures with his hands. My mind was going all over the place so I just put my hands over his to stop him from moving them and looked up at him.

“Zack, will you slow down a bit? I can’t understand a word you’re saying. You should try this thing called breathing once in a while. I hear it can be really good for you.” I said with a laugh because when he ran over to me he started talking so fast I couldn’t hear a single word clearly. He laughed at my breathing joke but did what I said and stopped talking and breathed for a bit.

“Now what is it that you want to tell me? And please speak in English this time,” I said and he took one more deep breath. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything he was interrupted.

“Let’s go, we just packed everything up and would like to get back to the hotel and get situated because we didn’t earlier, and it’s already eleven thirty.” I nodded slowly as I took my hands from Zack’s and listened to my brother’s orders and began to walk back to the van with the others.

“Dude really?” I heard Zack say.

“’Dude really?’ what? I’m sorry, but I’m tired and I want to go lie down and watch tv or play video games or something.” Alex said.

“You couldn’t have waited like two more minutes?”

“No, I couldn’t have, because I’m not the only one who wants to get back to the hotel,”

“Yeah but-“

“Guys please don’t start fighting now, it’s too late and you just had an amazing first show, you don’t wanna ruin that by getting into an argument over something stupid.” Matt said interrupting Zack.

“Yeah but-“

“Plus we got almost two hundred dollars today,” Jayde added interrupting Zack again.

“Will you guys stop interrupt- how much money did we get today?” Zack said raising his hands above his head, but then dropped them and leaned back a bit.

“You heard me, we got almost two, hundred, dollars, today.” Jayde smiled holding up the cash box and shaking it around. We all cheered and then quickly ran to the van so we could get to the hotel. Once we got to the lobby Jayde and I called first showers and ran down the hall to the elevators to beat the boys.

“SO NOT FAIR!” Rian shouted.

“Yeah, you didn’t even break a sweat today! We should get first showers!” Alex yelled.

“And you two are the ones who said we needed them in the first place!” Zack hollered.

“You even recommend we boil ourselves! If that’s not saying something then I don’t know what is!” Jack hollered and Jayde and I just laughed as we continued to run. We missed the elevator and didn’t want to, and kind of couldn’t wait for the next one, so we ran to the stairs and started our long journey up to the fifth floor of the hotel. We just reached the third floor and heard the boys catching up, so we decided to take them on a small detour around the third floor. They kept hollering but we just ignored them, laughing as we kept running. We got to the other end if the hallway and started to run up the steps again. Jayde and I got to the very top of the fourth floor before we needed to take a breath. We held onto the railing as we tried to slow our heavy breathing.

“Well this is turning out to be a great first night of tour, huh?” I said with a breathless laugh and I saw her nod.

“Oh yeah,” she laughed and I did too.

“Question,” I said after about five minutes of us breathing.

“Shoot.” she said as we sat down against the wall.

“Why did you give me that look when you passed by Zack and I as he was talking to me? Do you know what he’s gonna say?” I asked.

“Well what all did he say?”

“I couldn’t even understand him to be honest, he was talking so fast and he seemed so nervous,” I said sighing a bit.

“Well what did you hear??" Jayde pressed.

“Well do you know what he wants to talk about??”

“Yes, As a matter of fact I do. Now just tell me what you did hear!!”

“Okay calm down! But all I could really hear clearly at least was my name and his name like he was quoting what other people have said, ‘you’ ‘can’t take it,’ ‘me’ and ‘long time’ and I think I heard ‘anymore’ thrown in there somewhere,”

“Ugh he didn't say it yet, that god damned mother fucking-“ she started muttering but stopped when she saw me looking at her.

“I’m sorry, carry on?” she smiled and I just rolled my eyes and continued with what I was saying.

“And to be one hundred percent honest, I don’t think I want to hear the rest of what he has to say, because it kinda sounds like he doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore, and I really don’t think I’m mentally, physically and or emotionally stable to hear it.” I said and felt like an idiot when my lip started to quiver and my eyes began to slightly water.

“Oh Kayden, don’t cry! That’s not it, trust me. That’s not it at all." Jayde said sympathetically as she hugged me.

“If you think about it, it'\’s kind of the exact opposite really,”

“Huh?" I asked wiping my eyes. But something happened before Jayde could respond to my confused and tear-filled slur.

“BOO!!!!!” Jayde and I shrieked and I jumped into her lap and the guys just started cracking up.

“You guys are just too easy to scare,” Alex said.

“And you guys will be pretty easy to injure, exhibit A,” I said raising my leg to kick Alex in between the legs and his eyes got wide but caught me by my ankle just before my foot came in contact with him.

“Never again will you kick me there, the last time you did I was on the ground for thirty minutes, being out for the first ten,” Alex said and the others started laughing nonstop.

“That goes to show us how strong you are,” Rian laughed sarcastically as he put a hand on Alex’s shoulder to keep his balance as the others fell to the floor.

“Shut up! She was wearing pointed-toe shoes! If you four ever knew what it felt like you wouldn’t be laughing!” Alex said and they tried to steady their breathing again. After they calmed down I wiped my eyes again and Alex tilted his head.

“What’s with the crocodile tears little one?”

“It's nothing, let’s just get back to the room,” I said standing up and pulled my sleeves down over my hands and wiped my eyes again.

“Kayden,”

“It’s nothing Alex, I’m fine, I promise. Let’s just get back to the room so you smelly asses can get showers and be clean,” I said faking a laugh which seemed passable for a real one. How I knew it seemed real enough? I was earned a couple hard yet playful shoves.

“Can we go to the other end of the hall and take the elevator? I don’t feel like walking anymore," I said rubbing my now dry, but very itchy eyes.

“Sounds like a plan.” everyone said nodding.

“Someone carry me?” I asked tilting my head back and closed my eyes and held out my arms. I soon felt myself being lifted and being cradled wedding style, and I opened my eyes to see that Jayde did the same thing, and Alex was now carrying her. Although I didn’t know who was carrying me, I had a pretty fair guess of who it was.

“You two are so lazy, you know that?"

“Shut up, Matt.” we both said and he just shook his head and chuckled. I must’ve fell asleep on the way because I don’t remember the elevator ride or entering the room, and I was now in a small, two person bedroom with the lights out. I rubbed my eyes and got up and tried to find the door. I finally found it and turned the handle, only to be blinded and deafened by the light and loud sound effects from the video games being played.

“There she is!” Jack cooed when I rubbed my eyes as I came out of what I’m guessing was mine and Jayde’s bedroom, and closed the door behind me.

“How was your nap Sleeping Beaut- RIAN YOU ASS FUCK!” Alex started to say but shouted when Rian shot him down in the game they were playing.

“That’s such a sweet thing of you to say to your best friend Alex,” I laughed and he chuckled.

“I know.” he said closing his eyes and smiling wide before quickly going back to the game. I grabbed a water from the mini fridge in the small kitchen area and looked around to see Alex, Jack, and Rian playing Call Of Duty, Jayde on one of the sofas with one of Alex’s guitars, and Matt on another sofa going through a bunch of papers with binders on his lap with the words ‘TOUR SHIT, DO NOT TOUCH!’ written on them.

“Hey,” I said nudging Alex a bit.

“Heyyyyyyyyyy,” Alex, Rian and Jack said as Alex nudged me and then laughed. I rolled my eyes and hip bumped Rian, who jumped and fell onto Jack, who over dramatically fell onto Alex.

“What do you want you want, you annoying fuck?!” Alex shouted as he pushed Jack off of him.

“Don't yell at Jack like that.” I said hitting him in the back of the head.

“Okay fine but what so you want?? Geez you're just as annoying as Jack, I wish you were still sleeping.” Alex said and a pillow hit him in the head and he looked in my direction.

“Don't look at me,” I said and Alex started looking around and I saw Jayde had a big ass smile on her face.

“I think I found your attacker Alex,” I said with a laugh as I pointed at her. Alex started making faces at her and I snapped in front of his face.

“Anyway, I said ‘hey’ for a reason.” I said and Alex turned back to me.

“And that would beeeeeeeeeee??” he asked batting his eyelashes and I gave him a weird look.

“One, don’t ever do that again, two, I don’t want anyone to trust you with candy alone for the rest of this tour okay?” I asked and everyone just laughed.

“Anyway,” I said still laughing a bit.

“Do you guys know where-?”

“Balcony.” they all said pointing over their shoulders before going back to what they were doing before and I just looked at them with a weird expression for a little bit because they all answered at once. I sipped my water again as I walked to the screen door and slid it open, and I saw Zack sitting in one of the plastic lawn chairs with is feet up on the railing with his bass on his lap and I saw him look up at the stars occasionally.

“Hey you,” I said and I saw him jump a bit as I sat in one of the chairs next to him.

“Scare you?” I asked with a small laugh.

“Yeah just a bit,” he said sitting up and putting his bass on one of the other chairs.

“So, what were you trying to tell me before?” I asked softly as I played with the cap from my water bottle.

“Now that Jayde isn’t forcing me to tell you now I don’t really know how to start,” Zack said uneasily and I nodded a bit.

“Well... try saying it how you would tell me if Jayde wasn’t making you tell me now,” I said still not looking up.

“Well, I, um...”

“Zack, if this has anything to do with our friendship just please leave it be, I caught some parts of what you said earlier and what I heard the most was ‘can’t take it’ ‘anymore’ and ‘long time’, and it makes me think you don’t wanna be my friend anymore, and if that’s the case just please let it ease its way out instead of telling me straight forward, because I think that hurts more.” I said trying not to cry again, and it got quiet for a while.

“Why would you ever think I wouldn’t want to be friends with you anymore?” was all he said breaking the silence.

“I don’t know, that’s how it sounded with the small parts of words that I could actually hear when you were talking so fast earlier,” I mumbled.

“Well that’s not the case, at all.”

“Well... What did you want to tell me then?” I asked looking up at him as my hair fell in front of my eyes. He just sighed and picked up his bass again and sat it on his lap playing random chords.

“If you don’t want to tell me now that’s fine we can talk some other time if you want,” I said starting to get up; feeling broken and rejected at the moment. But as I stood up Zack grabbed my hands to stop me and I turned back towards him.

“No no, stay. I’ll tell you now,” he said still holding my hands as I sat back down and kept looking at the screen door leading back to the hotel room, as if wanting to say whatever it was that he needed to before someone came out onto the balcony.’

“Kayden,”

“Yes?” I asked my voice unusually quiet. Probably because my heart was beating in my ears and it felt like everyone on the east coast could hear it. Everyone apart from Zack, of course.

“I just wanna say-” Zack was cut off when the screen door slid open and he let go of my hands and turned around to quickly glance at who was there and let out a sigh of as he put his hands on his face.

“Come on Kayden, bed. It’s already twelve thirty.” Alex said and I nodded getting up.

“Okay. Just tell me later okay Zack?” I said and he just nodded. His jaw was locked so I knew he was mad.

“Okay, but Alex you stay.” he said when I started heading towards the door.

“No, I’m tired, I’m going to bed. Go Kayden,” Alex said putting a hand on my shoulder and pushed me forward a bit to the door.

“No, I need to talk with you. Now.” Zack said and I felt Alex’s hand slip from my shoulder and I closed my eyes and sighed knowing this wouldn’t be ending well.

“No, I’m putting my sister to bed and going to bed myself. We can talk later.” he said and I felt his hand on my shoulder before it was taken away again.

“She’s seventeen, I think she can go to bed on her own can’t she?”

“You’re eighteen, I think you can wait twenty four hours to talk to me can’t you?” Alex retorted and I just put my hands over my face.

“Well I either talk to you or Kayden now, so take your pick.”

“You’re not talking to Kayden now, so tell me what you need to tell me.” Alex said and I turned around to see Alex’s arms crossed and Zack had his hands on his hips.

“Guys, please stop fighting! I can’t take it anymore! I don’t think anyone can! You guys are best friends for Christ’s sake! I shouldn’t be getting in the way of that! You shouldn’t be getting into so many fights, especially fights that revolve around me. So you guys can talk now, because I’m going to bed.” I said turning back around ignoring Alex and Zack when they called after me, and walked through the door leaving it open and walked past everyone and went straight to mine and Jayde’s room ignoring them too. I heard someone get up and follow me, most likely Jayde, and I heard one of the other boys go out into the balcony. I closed the door behind me and quickly got changed into my pajamas, then Jayde knocked on the door; as if knowing I wanted to get changed. She knocked again when I didn’t answer.

“Wait, why am I knocking? This is my room too.” Jayde mumbled before opening the door and I laughed a little bit.

“Are you gonna tell me what happened out there? Or no?" she asked softly sitting at the edge of the bed I was sitting on.

“Long story short, they’re fighting because of me. I think Alex knows something that’s upsetting him, and him knowing I like Zack isn’t helping. I just don’t know what to do anymore. And every time Zack tries to tell me whatever he needs to tell me, Alex always interrupts. And it’s always Alex, not you or one of the other guys. And I think that’s the thing that's upsetting him, or getting him mad, and doesn’t want Zack to tell me, and I don’t know if I wanna hear it or not if Alex keeps interrupting like this,” I said as I sat up by the headboard and hugged my leg resting my chin on my knees.

“You'll wanna hear it, trust me.” Jayde said moving closer and hugging me.

“You know what he’s gonna say don’t you? Can’t you tell me?” I sniffled.

“I do, but I don’t think it’s my place to tell you. I’m sorry, but I just think Zack should be the one to tell you this sweetie. I really am sorry though,” Jayde said hugging me a bit tighter and I sighed as I hugged her back.

“Why do things have to be so complicated in my life?” I mumbled against Jayde’s shoulder blade as I hugged her.

“Ohhhh, your life isn’t complicated, Love, you’re just going through a rough patch at the moment, everything will be set straight in the long run.” she said leaning her head on mine as she rubbed my arm. Jayde has been the older sister I’ve always wanted; the one I could always talk to without getting a lecture like I did when I talked with my mom, or the one I could go to when having boy troubles so I wouldn’t put unnecessary weight on my mother’s shoulders, or just when I wanted to talk.

“So, do you want me to grab some snacks and we can just watch tv until we fall asleep?” Jayde said to break the awkward silence I created when I got caught up in my thoughts. I nodded on response to her question and she got up and left the door open and it seemed pretty quiet out there but I jumped when I heard Jayde scream and someone shush her. I got up slowly and crept my way to the door and peeked out to see what was going on. Rian and Jack were passed out on the floor, and Alex was asleep on the pull out bed with Matt lying next to him, but I didn’t see Zack on the other sofa. I poked my head out a little more to look around the corner, and saw Jayde and Zack having a conversation in whispers. I couldn’t hear much of what they were saying, but when they saw me they stopped talking.

“Hi.” They both said with a little wave as if they weren’t doing anything the moment before.

“Uhh, wha-?” I asked with a confused expression and the just shook their heads and Jayde waved her hands a bit.

“Nothing. It’s nothing. I’ll just get some snacks and I’ll meet you back in our room alright?” Jayde asked and I nodded.

“I just have to go to the bathroom first, so excuse me,” Jayde said stepping in front of us, then over her brother and Rian, and finally reached the bathroom after trying multiple times not to fall on the others.

“So, why aren’t you asleep?” I asked getting another water bottle because I don’t remember if I left it out on the balcony or not and I’m not going out there to get it.

“Just up thinking about stuff. Why aren’t you asleep miss ‘I’m going to bed’ ?” Zack chuckled ripping off a piece of his pretzel.

“I was up talking with Jayde, so nehh.” I said sticking my tongue out and he did the same and we just laughed a bit and I sighed.

“What’s going on here? One minute you’re all mad when you’re talking with Alex, AKA your best friend, but the next minute you’re laughing and joking around with me, I don’t get it at all to be honest.” I said leaning on the small counter.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t.”

“Well whatever you had to tell me you can tell me now, cause Jayde’s in the bathroom, and the others are passed out,” I said and he just shrugged.

“I’ll just wait for a better time, because knowing Alex he’d wake up in an instant,” Zack said and I laughed a little bit. I put my water bottle on the counter and walked over to hug him. Since he was a bit taller than me he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and put his head down a bit so his cheek was resting on the top of my head. We stood there for a while swinging back and forth slowly. Then Jayde came out of the bathroom about to say something but just closed her mouth and grabbed snacks and went back to our room. Zack and I stood there for another ten minutes before I started to get sleepy, and sadly Zack noticed it.

“I’ll let you go to bed,”

“But I like standing here with you.”

“I know, but you’re starting to fall asleep. Do you know how uncomfy it is to fall asleep standing up?”

“Uh, no? Do you?” I asked looking up at him and he shook his head.

“And I don’t wanna start tonight. So go eat your snacks, watch tv with Jayde and go to sleep okay?”

“Okay.” I said quietly and my heart skipped a beat when he kissed my head.

“Goodnight Kayden.”

“Goodnight Zack.” I said. I grabbed my water bottle and walked to the bedroom as he walked me over to the sofa and I closed the door behind me. I got into my bed and Jayde tossed me a couple bags of whatever she grabbed and set my water bottle on the nightstand. Jayde started channel surfing and I didn’t even get through half an episode of Law & Order before I fell asleep.