Passion in My Eyes
Baby Doll
I should've known this would happen. Getting in with the wrong people was a bad idea from the start even if the intentions were harmless.
"Where's my fucking money?!"
I had to pull the phone away from my ear he yelled so loud.
"I'm sorry. Please just give me one more week and I'll have your money before you know it. Just one more week."
"No! You told me the same shit last week! Have it today by four o'clock or somebody's gonna pay." Click.
"Mrs. Baker?"
I turned to see a tall police officer standing behind me with a look on his face that for a moment I couldn't place.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry to tell you this but your husband Zacky-"
Zacky.
The look was sympathetic, sorry, sad.
"What? What happened to Zacky? Oh my God is he OK?"
"I'm sorry Miss, but Zacky has been found brutally beaten in an alley. He's in the hospital right now."
"Which one?" I said in a stern voice.
The officer told me the address and name of the hospital and then I was running to my car at full speed. I got inside then floored the car as fast as it could go, knocking down the large sign stating the street's name in the process.
Hospital
"Where is he?"
I ran through the hospital doors to the nurse's desk.
"Where is he?!"
"Who are you looking for ma'am?" the nurse asked.
"Where is Zacky Baker? How's he doing? Let me see him!"
"Ma'am I'm sorry but he is in the ICU right now with the doctor. We'll let you see him as soon as you are able."
"What do you me-"
"Lil calm down. Calm down."
"How do you expect me to calm down Brian?! My husband is in the ICU!" I sobbed.
Brian wrapped his arms around me in a hug. He kept telling me everything would be OK and that Zacky would be completely fine and better than he was before. I could only wish he was right.
Three hours later a doctor came out and stood in the middle of the waiting room.
"Baker family?"
I immediately stood up and rushed over off of Brian's lap. "Us. That's us. Is he okay? Please tell me he'll be okay." I pleaded. I needed to know that Zacky would be okay because of the guilt going through me at the moment. "Zacky..." he said. "Zacky suffered from a lot of damage. He lost a great deal of blood and recieved many blows to the head and ribs."
I choked on my own sob and Brian put an arm around me for comfort.
"But..." Brian said. "But Zack's gonna be okay right? I mean he'll be in here for a month tops then he can come home right?"
"I'm afraid that's not the case." the doctor said.
"W-what do you mean?" I asked not even trying to hide the fear in my voice.
"The damage done to Zacky was very brutal, which I assume you already know. But because of the many blows to the head that he received he..." the doctor paused. He looked down at his shoes and rubbed his eyes. When he brought his eyes back up they held great sympathy.
"He what? What? What's wrong with him?!" I cried.
By now all of the waiting room was staring at our little group but I really didn't give a flying fuck what they were thinking at the moment. All because of my stupid decision to get involved with some stupid ass druggies my husband was hurt and maybe even dead. All I knew was that I would be completely broken if he were gone.
"Zacky is in a coma and may have potential memory loss. Now, the chances of the memory loss potential are extremely slim. I'm sorry. But I can tell you some good news the coma doesn't seem large enough for it to last for a long period of time. Possibly one to three months."
Coma.
Holy shit. Holy mother fucking shit! I put my husband in a mother fucking coma!
"Thanks doc. We'll see you later." Brian said. The doctor nodded and started to walk away.
I hadn't moved or even blinked since the word 'coma' left the doctor's lips.
"Lil? Lil, look at me."
"It's my fault," I muttered out.
"What do you mean Lil? What are you talking about?"
"What do you think I'm talking about Brian?" I snapped. I had finally woken out of my trance and was angry at everything and everyone. Mainly myself. "I just found out that my husband is in a fucking coma and I know that it's all my mother fucking fault!"
"Lil, listen to me." Brian pleaded whilst putting his hands on my shoulders and bringing his eyes to my level. "You had nothing to do with this ok? Zacky just met up with some sick misfortune alright? You did nothing."
"No Brian I did ok? I did do something!"
Brian looked completely confused and... really irritated with me. "What are you saying?"
I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands, then looked down at my feet. "Bri, a few weeks ago, you know how we went to that club and I met some new friends?" He nodded. "Well, after that I started to hang out with them alot while you, Zacky, and the guys would be working or whatever. So one day when I was hanging out with them a... a drug dealer came in." I paused and looked into his eyes. His eyes held nothing but the notion for me to carry on with my explanation.
"And, of course my new 'buddies' bought some and... me being the total dumb ass I am, I got and used some to. But you see, I had no money on me that day so I made a deal with the dealer to pay him by the end of the week and it'd be over with. That whole thing was three weeks ago and today the dealer called saying that if I didn't have the money to pay off the debt by four o'clock somebody was gonna get hurt. And I had the money today I did, but, I had it at five not four."
Tightly closing my eyes and readying myself for the harsh attack of insults and shame, I stood there. But... the attack never came. Looking up I saw Brian looking down at me with the emotions of anger, sorrow, and utter sympathy in his chocolate eyes. "God dammit Lil. How could you be so... so... so damn reckless? Why did you even want the drugs?"
"I don't know! I don't even know why I even wanted them. I mean look what they did to my sister! I should've known better I know. I feel so damn terrible and guilty about it all that I feel that I could die of my own personal shame."
Suddenly I was crying again and again locked in Brian's arms. "Shh. It's okay now Lil. Zack's gonna be fine alright?" I nodded into his chest and wiped away some of the black trails on my cheeks.
It was too late to apologize.
Two Months Later
It's been two months since it all. Since I confessed what I'd been hiding to Brian. Since I broke off all ties to my old 'buddies'. Since Zack was put into a coma. Right now I was sitting in Zack's room holding his hand as I played our favorite song on the iPod speakers.
Hush little baby don't say a word
Never mind that noise you heard
It's just a beast under your bed
In your closet in your head
Exit light
Enter night
Grain of sand
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to never never-land
I'd been humming along to the lyrics and staring at the ceiling the entire time when I heard the door open. Looking over I saw it was a nurse.
"Helloo." She greeted.
I replied with a 'Hey' and kept staring up at the ceiling.
"I just need to do a check up and then I'll be right out."
"Ok. Um, I'm gonna be right back I have to use the restroom."
She simply nodded and carried out her business while I stepped into the bathroom and did my business. By the time I came back out, the nurse was gone, the song was done and Zack was... still sleeping. I went over and took back my spot on the uncomfortable chair at Zack's bedside.
I couldn't help but notice that the song changed to the song that Zack and I had first danced to back in high shcool.
But I guess that's why they say
Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn
Tears streamed down my face and coated my cheeks. I still hated myself for putting Zack here. If I had just stayed home with Zack that day like he wanted me to he wouldn't even be lying in this bed. I hate myself.
Sobs were breaking free from my chest and tears from my eyes.
"Baby doll why are you crying?"
I stopped and looked up to see a pair of unique emerald green eyes staring into mine.
I jumped out of the seat I'd been sitting in and hugged Zacky with all I had in me while still crying. Only this time the tears weren't sad. this time the tears were overjoyed. Zack wrapped his arms around me and started rubbing the back of my head with one of his large hands.
"Oh my god I thought I lost you." I whispered.
"Baby doll you should know by now," he said. "I'm not leaving you 'till you leave me." he said.
We just stayed in that position for a while until suddenly Zack mumbled out the words "Ow."
"Hon, what are you wearing? Felt like something just poked me in my fucking gut."
I stood up and smiled down at him.
"What? Baby what are you hiding from me?"
"I'm not hiding anything." I said.
"Then what's with the smile? You're just so happy to see me right?"
"That, and another thing." I said smiling even wider.
"Mind sharing?" he chuckled out.
"Guess what babe?" I said. "I'm prego."
"Where's my fucking money?!"
I had to pull the phone away from my ear he yelled so loud.
"I'm sorry. Please just give me one more week and I'll have your money before you know it. Just one more week."
"No! You told me the same shit last week! Have it today by four o'clock or somebody's gonna pay." Click.
"Mrs. Baker?"
I turned to see a tall police officer standing behind me with a look on his face that for a moment I couldn't place.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry to tell you this but your husband Zacky-"
Zacky.
The look was sympathetic, sorry, sad.
"What? What happened to Zacky? Oh my God is he OK?"
"I'm sorry Miss, but Zacky has been found brutally beaten in an alley. He's in the hospital right now."
"Which one?" I said in a stern voice.
The officer told me the address and name of the hospital and then I was running to my car at full speed. I got inside then floored the car as fast as it could go, knocking down the large sign stating the street's name in the process.
Hospital
"Where is he?"
I ran through the hospital doors to the nurse's desk.
"Where is he?!"
"Who are you looking for ma'am?" the nurse asked.
"Where is Zacky Baker? How's he doing? Let me see him!"
"Ma'am I'm sorry but he is in the ICU right now with the doctor. We'll let you see him as soon as you are able."
"What do you me-"
"Lil calm down. Calm down."
"How do you expect me to calm down Brian?! My husband is in the ICU!" I sobbed.
Brian wrapped his arms around me in a hug. He kept telling me everything would be OK and that Zacky would be completely fine and better than he was before. I could only wish he was right.
Three hours later a doctor came out and stood in the middle of the waiting room.
"Baker family?"
I immediately stood up and rushed over off of Brian's lap. "Us. That's us. Is he okay? Please tell me he'll be okay." I pleaded. I needed to know that Zacky would be okay because of the guilt going through me at the moment. "Zacky..." he said. "Zacky suffered from a lot of damage. He lost a great deal of blood and recieved many blows to the head and ribs."
I choked on my own sob and Brian put an arm around me for comfort.
"But..." Brian said. "But Zack's gonna be okay right? I mean he'll be in here for a month tops then he can come home right?"
"I'm afraid that's not the case." the doctor said.
"W-what do you mean?" I asked not even trying to hide the fear in my voice.
"The damage done to Zacky was very brutal, which I assume you already know. But because of the many blows to the head that he received he..." the doctor paused. He looked down at his shoes and rubbed his eyes. When he brought his eyes back up they held great sympathy.
"He what? What? What's wrong with him?!" I cried.
By now all of the waiting room was staring at our little group but I really didn't give a flying fuck what they were thinking at the moment. All because of my stupid decision to get involved with some stupid ass druggies my husband was hurt and maybe even dead. All I knew was that I would be completely broken if he were gone.
"Zacky is in a coma and may have potential memory loss. Now, the chances of the memory loss potential are extremely slim. I'm sorry. But I can tell you some good news the coma doesn't seem large enough for it to last for a long period of time. Possibly one to three months."
Coma.
Holy shit. Holy mother fucking shit! I put my husband in a mother fucking coma!
"Thanks doc. We'll see you later." Brian said. The doctor nodded and started to walk away.
I hadn't moved or even blinked since the word 'coma' left the doctor's lips.
"Lil? Lil, look at me."
"It's my fault," I muttered out.
"What do you mean Lil? What are you talking about?"
"What do you think I'm talking about Brian?" I snapped. I had finally woken out of my trance and was angry at everything and everyone. Mainly myself. "I just found out that my husband is in a fucking coma and I know that it's all my mother fucking fault!"
"Lil, listen to me." Brian pleaded whilst putting his hands on my shoulders and bringing his eyes to my level. "You had nothing to do with this ok? Zacky just met up with some sick misfortune alright? You did nothing."
"No Brian I did ok? I did do something!"
Brian looked completely confused and... really irritated with me. "What are you saying?"
I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands, then looked down at my feet. "Bri, a few weeks ago, you know how we went to that club and I met some new friends?" He nodded. "Well, after that I started to hang out with them alot while you, Zacky, and the guys would be working or whatever. So one day when I was hanging out with them a... a drug dealer came in." I paused and looked into his eyes. His eyes held nothing but the notion for me to carry on with my explanation.
"And, of course my new 'buddies' bought some and... me being the total dumb ass I am, I got and used some to. But you see, I had no money on me that day so I made a deal with the dealer to pay him by the end of the week and it'd be over with. That whole thing was three weeks ago and today the dealer called saying that if I didn't have the money to pay off the debt by four o'clock somebody was gonna get hurt. And I had the money today I did, but, I had it at five not four."
Tightly closing my eyes and readying myself for the harsh attack of insults and shame, I stood there. But... the attack never came. Looking up I saw Brian looking down at me with the emotions of anger, sorrow, and utter sympathy in his chocolate eyes. "God dammit Lil. How could you be so... so... so damn reckless? Why did you even want the drugs?"
"I don't know! I don't even know why I even wanted them. I mean look what they did to my sister! I should've known better I know. I feel so damn terrible and guilty about it all that I feel that I could die of my own personal shame."
Suddenly I was crying again and again locked in Brian's arms. "Shh. It's okay now Lil. Zack's gonna be fine alright?" I nodded into his chest and wiped away some of the black trails on my cheeks.
It was too late to apologize.
Two Months Later
It's been two months since it all. Since I confessed what I'd been hiding to Brian. Since I broke off all ties to my old 'buddies'. Since Zack was put into a coma. Right now I was sitting in Zack's room holding his hand as I played our favorite song on the iPod speakers.
Hush little baby don't say a word
Never mind that noise you heard
It's just a beast under your bed
In your closet in your head
Exit light
Enter night
Grain of sand
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to never never-land
I'd been humming along to the lyrics and staring at the ceiling the entire time when I heard the door open. Looking over I saw it was a nurse.
"Helloo." She greeted.
I replied with a 'Hey' and kept staring up at the ceiling.
"I just need to do a check up and then I'll be right out."
"Ok. Um, I'm gonna be right back I have to use the restroom."
She simply nodded and carried out her business while I stepped into the bathroom and did my business. By the time I came back out, the nurse was gone, the song was done and Zack was... still sleeping. I went over and took back my spot on the uncomfortable chair at Zack's bedside.
I couldn't help but notice that the song changed to the song that Zack and I had first danced to back in high shcool.
But I guess that's why they say
Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn
Tears streamed down my face and coated my cheeks. I still hated myself for putting Zack here. If I had just stayed home with Zack that day like he wanted me to he wouldn't even be lying in this bed. I hate myself.
Sobs were breaking free from my chest and tears from my eyes.
"Baby doll why are you crying?"
I stopped and looked up to see a pair of unique emerald green eyes staring into mine.
I jumped out of the seat I'd been sitting in and hugged Zacky with all I had in me while still crying. Only this time the tears weren't sad. this time the tears were overjoyed. Zack wrapped his arms around me and started rubbing the back of my head with one of his large hands.
"Oh my god I thought I lost you." I whispered.
"Baby doll you should know by now," he said. "I'm not leaving you 'till you leave me." he said.
We just stayed in that position for a while until suddenly Zack mumbled out the words "Ow."
"Hon, what are you wearing? Felt like something just poked me in my fucking gut."
I stood up and smiled down at him.
"What? Baby what are you hiding from me?"
"I'm not hiding anything." I said.
"Then what's with the smile? You're just so happy to see me right?"
"That, and another thing." I said smiling even wider.
"Mind sharing?" he chuckled out.
"Guess what babe?" I said. "I'm prego."