So Endlessly.
Ruin.
The way his body moved, it made me feel like an addict. It moved at such a grace that I couldn’t stop watching him. But it wasn’t just any grace, it was just his own. His own movement that no one else could explain or define. The way his fingers moved against the neck of it, it sent shivers down my spine.
Though, he didn’t see me, I wished he would. But no, it wasn’t ever to be and never would be. That was the shitty part of high school. Thinking it’d make him notice me, I went for one of his best friends. Well, really. Jimmy was everyone’s best friend, and somehow, someway, it bothered me. Inhaling deeply, I took my eyes off the dark-haired, green eyed guitarist and focused back on the drummer.
It wasn’t that I didn’t love Jimmy, because I did. Out of all the people who thought I was invisible, he seen me, and changed my life forever. I remember the day I met him, almost like it was yesterday. But even yesterday felt so far away.
They finished up the last song of their set, a sweaty Jimmy running over to me at the side of the stage. The grin on his face could always make me smile, no matter what mood I was in. That’s what held me to him; that fucking smile. And how happy he looked when he just caught a glimpse of me. And just like always, he scooped me up into his arms, sweeping me off my feet.
“You weren’t supposed to surprise me!” he exclaimed, hugging me close to him.
It was sad how significantly tall he was compared to me. I wasn’t tall at all. Fuck, I wasn’t even short either. I was just five foot, five inches. Which was like… in between tall and short. Average. That was me. Just average. Normal. I hated it. I hated that fact. Which was pretty much why I loved dressing in outrageous clothing to stand out.
“I know, but you know I would’ve anyway. You know how I feel about the U.K., James.”
And then that pout he gave me, his wondrous blue eyes widening.
“You’re not supposed to call me that in public! People are… spying on me!”
“Yeah, just like there’s gnomes in our yard, and pigeons are a danger to humanity!”
Rolling my eyes, I let him press all these kisses to my neck, and wherever else he pleased. That was one of the pros of being with him for so long, he knew everything about me. It’s not that he just knew it, or anything, but he actually took the time to figure out all my little quirks, and flaws, and perfections. Jimmy was the only one who just… gave a shit.
“They are! Do you see their beedy little eyes?”
Inhaling deeply, I rolled my eyes again, grabbing his hand and leading him off the stage area.
“Yeah, yeah, Jimmy. I’ve seen them.” I grinned lightly, peeking back at him, trailing after me.
At that exact fraction of a moment, the worst happened. Zack walked by. I couldn’t really tell you why it was the worst, really. I think it was because of what he did to me. The stopping of my heart completely, and just.. Everything. My stomach was swirling, and I felt kind of light headed. I was actually having a good moment with Jimmy, no Zack involved, and bam… gone. Just like that.
“Lily… Lily?” I could hear Jimmy saying, but I could barely pay attention. So I guess he decided screaming in my ear would gain my attention. “LILY!”
Slowly, but surely, I peeled my eyes away from Zack, meeting that blue ocean gaze.
“Y-yes?”
“Are you okay?” he tilted his head, worry clearly in his eyes.
I just nodded my head, lowering my eyes, and leading the way back to the bus.
And that was how it started. How what started? How everything started to go uphill.
Though, he didn’t see me, I wished he would. But no, it wasn’t ever to be and never would be. That was the shitty part of high school. Thinking it’d make him notice me, I went for one of his best friends. Well, really. Jimmy was everyone’s best friend, and somehow, someway, it bothered me. Inhaling deeply, I took my eyes off the dark-haired, green eyed guitarist and focused back on the drummer.
It wasn’t that I didn’t love Jimmy, because I did. Out of all the people who thought I was invisible, he seen me, and changed my life forever. I remember the day I met him, almost like it was yesterday. But even yesterday felt so far away.
They finished up the last song of their set, a sweaty Jimmy running over to me at the side of the stage. The grin on his face could always make me smile, no matter what mood I was in. That’s what held me to him; that fucking smile. And how happy he looked when he just caught a glimpse of me. And just like always, he scooped me up into his arms, sweeping me off my feet.
“You weren’t supposed to surprise me!” he exclaimed, hugging me close to him.
It was sad how significantly tall he was compared to me. I wasn’t tall at all. Fuck, I wasn’t even short either. I was just five foot, five inches. Which was like… in between tall and short. Average. That was me. Just average. Normal. I hated it. I hated that fact. Which was pretty much why I loved dressing in outrageous clothing to stand out.
“I know, but you know I would’ve anyway. You know how I feel about the U.K., James.”
And then that pout he gave me, his wondrous blue eyes widening.
“You’re not supposed to call me that in public! People are… spying on me!”
“Yeah, just like there’s gnomes in our yard, and pigeons are a danger to humanity!”
Rolling my eyes, I let him press all these kisses to my neck, and wherever else he pleased. That was one of the pros of being with him for so long, he knew everything about me. It’s not that he just knew it, or anything, but he actually took the time to figure out all my little quirks, and flaws, and perfections. Jimmy was the only one who just… gave a shit.
“They are! Do you see their beedy little eyes?”
Inhaling deeply, I rolled my eyes again, grabbing his hand and leading him off the stage area.
“Yeah, yeah, Jimmy. I’ve seen them.” I grinned lightly, peeking back at him, trailing after me.
At that exact fraction of a moment, the worst happened. Zack walked by. I couldn’t really tell you why it was the worst, really. I think it was because of what he did to me. The stopping of my heart completely, and just.. Everything. My stomach was swirling, and I felt kind of light headed. I was actually having a good moment with Jimmy, no Zack involved, and bam… gone. Just like that.
“Lily… Lily?” I could hear Jimmy saying, but I could barely pay attention. So I guess he decided screaming in my ear would gain my attention. “LILY!”
Slowly, but surely, I peeled my eyes away from Zack, meeting that blue ocean gaze.
“Y-yes?”
“Are you okay?” he tilted his head, worry clearly in his eyes.
I just nodded my head, lowering my eyes, and leading the way back to the bus.
And that was how it started. How what started? How everything started to go uphill.