Bold Fenian Men

"No, no! Here's a good one." Roisin leant on the bar thoughtfully. "How about you wait until after you tie him up with his own intestines, and then run him over in a lawnmower?"

Padraig laughed.

"I see. Then he would feel the lawnmower and the intestine thing."

"Very true."

"I like the way you think, Roisin." Cillian looked at Padraig and Roisin, slightly green.

"What's up with you?" Padraig asked, chuckling.

"You pair are sick, do you know that?"

"Of course, that's why we get on so well." Padraig winked at Roisin, who blushed and laughed.

"I'm going to expel some urine." Cillian said poshly.

"You what?" Padraig asked, confused. Cillian rolled his eyes.

"I'm going for a piss."

"OH! Right!" Padraig frowned. "Why did I need to know that?" Cillian shrugged.

"Not sure. So you can think about my –"

"OK, Cillian! Just go!"

" – nose." Cillian laughed and walked off. Padraig rolled his eyes.

"A nutter, that one." he said laughing. Roisin smiled.

"He has to be, to hang round with you."

"I've a secret to tell you." Padraig beckoned her closer with his finger, and Roisin rolled her eyes and leaned over the bar. Padraig suddenly grabbed her, and then he kissed her, not caring who saw or how red Roisin was going to go.

When they eventually pulled apart, Roisin was speechless for a few moments before she stuttered:

"And what was that supposed to mean?"

"You're mad too." Padraig winked. "Oh!" he said, snapping his fingers as though suddenly remembering something that had slipped his mind. "And I also wouldn’t mind if you'd care to be my girlfriend."

Roisin smiled.

"So if I say yes, then you won’t kiss me in the most public places possible anymore?"

"Of course I will! Public displays of affection are always loved by passers-by."

"Do you know what, Padraig Caraher? Because I'm mad I'll say yes. Just this once, mind." Padraig laughed.

"I only need one chance, love. By tomorrow you'll be arse over tit in love with me." Roisin pretended to be offended.

"PADRAIG!" she scolded. "Such language from that innocent mouth!"

"I'm sorry, dearest." Padraig grinned. "You shall be head over heels in love with me. There. How's that?"

Roisin smiled.

"Much better."

~*~
Two months later
~*~

Roisin woke with a start. She was looking at a ceiling, but somehow Roisin knew it wasn't her ceiling.

She rolled over, and her head was thumping. She'd had a night off the night before and she and Padraig had had a little too much to drink.

"Oh my God!" Roisin yelled suddenly. She slapped her hand over her mouth, but the sleeping Padraig Caraher next to her didn’t stir. He carried on breathing deeply, sleeping peacefully. Roisin gently touched his cheek. Padraig stirred then, but he didn’t wake.

She softly sat up, not wanting to wake him, and her heart skipped another beat. Through the darkness she could make out that what she had been wearing last night was now in various places around the room, and she softly swore under her breath.

"Oh, Roisin, you've really done it now," she whispered to herself, standing up and gently padding around the room, pulling some clothes on. She looked back at the sleeping Padraig, not knowing quite what she was feeling. And then she did the only thing she could think of.

Creeping downstairs, she softly picked up the phone and dialled a number off by heart.

"Hey," she whispered when the person picked up. "Lenny?"

"Rois! What's up?"

"Umm …"

"What's happened?"

"Lenny, I don’t know if I've just made the biggest mistake of my life or not …"