Bold Fenian Men
Chapter Thirty-Four
"Padraig?" Padraig was startled by the soft voice behind him. He leapt about a foot in the air and span round. Leaning against a wall crying hysterically was not the usual way Padraig Caraher was found. But Padraig didn’t bother wiping away the tears that were streaming down his face. He gently took Roisin's hands.
"Roisin, what are you doing to me?" he whispered. Roisin gently touched his tear-streaked face.
"I'm sorry, Padraig. But this is what I want to do."
"I know and that's what I'm so God damn annoyed about! Ah, Roisin, it sounds so stupid …"
"What does?"
"I'm so used to having control, you know? And I know that you're the only one I'll have no control over because you're too much like me to be bossed around!"
"Padraig, I understand the rules." Roisin cupped Padraig's face with her hands and looked him right in the eyes. "When I'm on active service I have to obey your orders. I understand that. Sure enough, I'll probably have a go at you later on, but I understand that when I'm a working Volunteer, what you say goes." Padraig smiled.
"You'll not like being a Volunteer then. Having to listen to me." Roisin smiled. "Look, Roisin. I know you're a sensible girl, and sure you've your head screwed on tighter than most in this unit, but I'm so scared for you. What if the UVF find out you're my girlfriend? And if they find out you're a Volunteer as well … then I don’t know what'll happen. You know they'll use you against me and I couldn’t sit there and watch you get hurt."
"I'll be careful, Padraig. I promise." Padraig's eyes filled with tears again. "Padraig?"
"They were the last ever words spoken to me by someone, you know." Padraig smiled thinly, his eyes full of worry as well as tears. "They were the last words Proinsias ever said to me. "I'll be careful, Padraig. I promise". Just like that. And the next day, bang, he's gone. Well, not that day as such. More like a week later after they'd done all sorts to him … FUCK!" Rosin jumped, startled.
"Padraig, what's wrong?"
"FUCK!" Padraig yelled again, and he turned and hit the wall as hard as he could, before yelling again and holding his hand to him. "Shit! Tell me, Roisin! Tell me why everything in my life goes wrong!"
"Padraig, what do you mean?"
"I love you, Roisin! There! I've said it straight out! I love you! And the only person I've ever loved is now exposed to all this crap!"
"And do you not think I felt the same way when you were running all over the place getting shot at?" Roisin was getting angry. 'Padraig Caraher, I held you when you were lying sprawled out on the floor in that pub more than half dead and I loved you even then! You were dying, Padraig! I nearly saw you die and I loved you and I still didn’t say anything because I thought it would worry you! And you're more wanted than me! I'm just a normal Volunteer. You've assassination squads on you!" Padraig looked at her for a long while. Her arms were now folded and she was breathing deeply, a classic Roisin-is-annoyed sign.
"You love me?" Padraig eventually whispered, and he sounded completely shocked.
"Of course I do! And a hard one to love you are, but I have ever since I first laid eyes on you, and you're such a wee heartbreaker I probably always will." Padraig smiled.
"This sounds so stupid, but no one has actually ever said that to me before." Padraig shrugged. "Apart from my mother, but I guess that's a different kind of thing." Roisin smiled.
"Well I do love you, Padraig Caraher, risks and all that you bring!"
"Roisin, what are you doing to me?" he whispered. Roisin gently touched his tear-streaked face.
"I'm sorry, Padraig. But this is what I want to do."
"I know and that's what I'm so God damn annoyed about! Ah, Roisin, it sounds so stupid …"
"What does?"
"I'm so used to having control, you know? And I know that you're the only one I'll have no control over because you're too much like me to be bossed around!"
"Padraig, I understand the rules." Roisin cupped Padraig's face with her hands and looked him right in the eyes. "When I'm on active service I have to obey your orders. I understand that. Sure enough, I'll probably have a go at you later on, but I understand that when I'm a working Volunteer, what you say goes." Padraig smiled.
"You'll not like being a Volunteer then. Having to listen to me." Roisin smiled. "Look, Roisin. I know you're a sensible girl, and sure you've your head screwed on tighter than most in this unit, but I'm so scared for you. What if the UVF find out you're my girlfriend? And if they find out you're a Volunteer as well … then I don’t know what'll happen. You know they'll use you against me and I couldn’t sit there and watch you get hurt."
"I'll be careful, Padraig. I promise." Padraig's eyes filled with tears again. "Padraig?"
"They were the last ever words spoken to me by someone, you know." Padraig smiled thinly, his eyes full of worry as well as tears. "They were the last words Proinsias ever said to me. "I'll be careful, Padraig. I promise". Just like that. And the next day, bang, he's gone. Well, not that day as such. More like a week later after they'd done all sorts to him … FUCK!" Rosin jumped, startled.
"Padraig, what's wrong?"
"FUCK!" Padraig yelled again, and he turned and hit the wall as hard as he could, before yelling again and holding his hand to him. "Shit! Tell me, Roisin! Tell me why everything in my life goes wrong!"
"Padraig, what do you mean?"
"I love you, Roisin! There! I've said it straight out! I love you! And the only person I've ever loved is now exposed to all this crap!"
"And do you not think I felt the same way when you were running all over the place getting shot at?" Roisin was getting angry. 'Padraig Caraher, I held you when you were lying sprawled out on the floor in that pub more than half dead and I loved you even then! You were dying, Padraig! I nearly saw you die and I loved you and I still didn’t say anything because I thought it would worry you! And you're more wanted than me! I'm just a normal Volunteer. You've assassination squads on you!" Padraig looked at her for a long while. Her arms were now folded and she was breathing deeply, a classic Roisin-is-annoyed sign.
"You love me?" Padraig eventually whispered, and he sounded completely shocked.
"Of course I do! And a hard one to love you are, but I have ever since I first laid eyes on you, and you're such a wee heartbreaker I probably always will." Padraig smiled.
"This sounds so stupid, but no one has actually ever said that to me before." Padraig shrugged. "Apart from my mother, but I guess that's a different kind of thing." Roisin smiled.
"Well I do love you, Padraig Caraher, risks and all that you bring!"