You Taught Me Love

Around one month later... (Friday December 20h)
Evening

Gerard's P.O.V.

I had invited Frankie to stay the night and we were presently enjoying the new Iron Maiden album while sharing a bowl of vanilla ice cream, his favorite.

“Gimme some.” I ordered.

“Are you forgetting your manners, Mr Way? You better watch it before you get a dirty mouth...” he teased, sporting a look of feint shock.

“Could you be an angel and give me some of that deliciousness, please?”

“Of course” he laughed.

He brought the spoon to my mouth slowly and bit his lip as he saw me lick the ice cream off the utensil, a smirk plastered on my face. Yeah, I could tease too. His eyes stayed glued to my lips as he took another scoop of frozen goodness that he lifted up to my face, before “accidentally” dropping the dessert on my collarbone.

“Oops. My bad.” he whispered, smirking in turn.

“It's cold.” I shivered, feeling the ice cream start to melt on my warm skin.

“Want me to clean it off?”

“Hm-hm.” I nodded, now looking at the sweet liquid starting to run down the top of my chest, almost reaching my shirt.

My view of the dessert was soon blocked, though, as Frankie started to suck on the ice cream, purposefully making it melt even more to lead the white trail down my body, and now under my shirt. I let him unbutton the piece of clothing to the middle, sure that any visibly injury was still covered by black fabric, and let out an involuntary moan as I felt his moist tongue follow the melted sweetness as his lip ring grazed my skin.

His mouth soon found its way back to my neck, though, where he nibbled softly for a while before leaning towards my ear.

“There we go. All clean.” he breathed out huskily, giving me chills up my spine. “Actually, I think I might have missed a spot, lower... Let me check.” he proposed.

Before he could reach the next buttons on my shirt, which would probably have revealed the ugliest thing my body had been permanently marked with, I held him tight and pressed my lips to his in a quick kiss.

“I think you got it all.” I laughed, trying to hide my nervousness.

“Aw.” he pouted, obviously disappointed that I hadn't let him take this any further.

I decided that this would be the right moment to make the announcement – or rather proposition – I had invited him over for. I figured it'd help light up the mood a bit, and take my mind off the thoughts that had just invaded my head and almost made me sick.

“Hey! I've been wanting to ask you something.” I informed him.

“Go ahead.” he said, between soft pecks to my jaw.

“Do you have anything planned for the winter break?”

“Um, not really. Well, I was thinking about spending some time with you...”

“Then how about spending a week with me at a little chalet my family owns? Oh, and don't worry, they never go there anymore. I know its a bit late to ask this but if you're free next week...”

“Oh God! Of course!!! Yeah, oh, I'd love that.” he perked up, a giant grin spreading on his face.

"It's two hours North, and it's pretty cozy.” I explained, smiling at his answer. “And you don't have to bring much, just clothes I guess.” I was glad that he seemed so happy about the idea. I honestly hoped it would help me loosen up, but I also loved the prospect of spending that much more time with my baby.

“Uh, but what the fuck do I tell my mom?” he wondered, now frowning as he thought the issue over.

“Ha, I got that covered too. I was supposed to go teach at an art workshop during the break, but I changed my mind when I remembered about the chalet. Well, it's still running, and its quite far so we'd have to sleep there. If we were attending it.”

“I'm not following. You're saying you want us to go to the art workshop?”

“No. I'm saying I still have the pamphlets. You could tell your mom you'd like to try it out. And if she wants to verify things by speaking to me, I think I can manage a couple of lies in order to spend a week with you.”

“Gee, did I ever tell you that you're the smartest, most awesome person in the Universe?”

“Nope.”

“Well you are.” he giggled, snuggling into my side.

* * * * * * *

Frankie was taking a shower while I made our bed, making sure that the pillows were far enough from each other so that it wouldn't give him any ideas.

Trust me, it wasn't that I didn't want to have sex with him...

Just as I finished placing the duvet, I heard the water stop running and shortly after, I saw Frankie come out of the bathroom, passing a hand through his damp chocolate hair. Droplets trickled from his hair onto his wet chest, where they dripped all the way down to his happy trail, before disappearing under the loosely wrapped towel hanging from his hips. Holy fuck.
Well, someone just got excited.

“Um, do you have any Pj's you could lend me? I kinda forgot to bring mine.” he asked me nonchalantly, clearly not realizing what he had done to me.

“Sure.” I mumbled, before turning to my drawers to get clothes for him.

A couple of minutes later, we were both under the covers, holding each other and kissing goodnight. But as soon as he fell asleep, I turned around and finally let a tear roll down my cheek. I had been holding that one in for more than a month, now.

I wanted him too. I wanted him real fucking bad. Sometimes it got so hard to push him back... Sometimes it got so hard to control myself...

But I had been traumatized once, and some images, some scenes I could never forget still haunted me. Anytime we'd start getting too intimate, my mind filled with disgusting memories of abuse and sickening feelings that I REALLY didn't want associated with my sweetie. I couldn't bear the idea of thinking about Steve while I had sex with Frank, I think it'd kill me.

It's awful. I can't believe how bad that bastard fucked up my life. And how I let him.