If I Fall

I never, said I’d lie and wait forever
If I died, we’d be together
I can’t always just forget her
But she could try…

~~~~~

I remember that day…the first gun shots…the first screams…

That day still rang in my head a week after.

I remember the screaming, the crying, the sirens…

Everything was rolling around in my head.

I stood outside of the Ceramics studio where it all went down.

I stood there staring at the police tape that covered the doors, blocking anyone from going inside.

It was in that room where it all started and it all ended for me.

I lost my best friend that day…I lost the woman I loved that day.

All because she tried to calm down the shooter.

Her hands were covered in clay and blood.

I remember holding her in my arms.

She told me she loved me…and I just stared at her. I just stared at her when I should have told her I loved her.

I should have told her then and there how I felt about her.

But I had been too scared…

I moved away from the Ceramics studio and headed off to the classroom where the detectives were. They were interviewing everyone at the college about Gregory, the shooter. Especially everyone who was in the art building at the time it all started.

I walked up to the classroom and knocked.

A clean cut 40 something year old detective opened the door in his all black suit.

“Bob Bryar?”

“Yes”

“We’ve been waiting for you please come in”

I walked past him and over to the table that was set up in the middle of the room, all of the desks pushed back against the walls. Another detective was sitting there and so was my lawyer. My dad has said I wasn’t allowed to speak to anyone without the family lawyer there.

My father was overprotective but in this situation I was secretly thankful that he had arranged for the lawyer to be here today.

I sat down next to him and shook his hand.

The detective who had opened the door sat down across the table and opened up a file, pushing the button on the tape recorder in the middle of the table.

“You are Bob Bryar correct?”

“Yes”

“And you are working on a bachelor’s degree in Music”

“Correct”

“You were in the music room on March 2nd when Gregory Ryan Dresden started shooting at students and teachers”

“Yes I was in my music theory class”

“I see. Did you know Gregory?”

“Not personally. I knew other students here who did but I didn’t know much about him. Just that he was a painter and did sculptures. I only really knew what I heard second hand from other”

“Did you ever hear anything about him being depressed or wanting to shoot people?”

“No. No one really did. This was a pretty big shock to us all. Whenever I saw him in the halls he always seemed like a nice person”

“You were very close friends with one of the students who fell victim to Gregory’s shooting right?”

I gulped and looked away, “…Yes…”

“They were one of the first who was shot weren’t they?”

“Yes…she…she was in the Ceramics studio in class. That was where Gregory started shooting. He started there and I don’t know why”

“Your friend was Emberlynn Marie Daniels correct?”

“Yes. But a lot of people called her Ember or Em”

“What did you call her?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Does that really matter?”

“Just trying to get all of the facts”

“What does what I called her have to do with Gregory shooting and killing a bunch of innocent students?”

“We were just curious”

“Well I suggest you focus on your job then. You job is to find out why he did what he did right!?”

My lawyer put a hand on my shoulder, “Calm down Bob”

I took a deep breath, “Sorry”

“It’s quite alright. Emotions tend to run high when someone you knew and were close to is a victim of something so sudden and destructive.”

I just looked over at the wall.

They had no idea

“You found Emberlynn didn’t you?”

I gulped, “Yes I did. She was lying on the floor of the studio bleeding. I rushed over to her and held her in my arms. She told me she tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen. She told me that he still pointed and shot. She tried to take cover but a bullet still managed to get her. She…she died in my arms…”

The detectives looked at each other then back at me.

“Did she say anything else?”

Yes

“No…she didn’t”

“Okay. I think we’re done here then”

I stood up and immediately left the room. I stood outside in the hallway taking deep breaths and fighting back the tears that were fighting to come to the surface. I didn’t want to lose it here.

I felt a hand on my shoulder which caused me to jump about a foot in the air and spin around.

My other best friend, Gerard was standing there looking at me.

“Hey you okay man?”

I just shook my head no.

Gerard pulled me into a hug for a few seconds before putting his hand on my shoulder again.

“I’m sorry about Emberlynn. I know how much she meant to you”

“Thanks man”

“They’re having a memorial for everyone who died tomorrow night”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m putting together the photos of everyone for a mural of sorts. Mikey’s figuring out how many candles we need with his girl, Alicia.”

“Was it your idea?”

“Well no not really. It was more so Ray’s. He lost his stepsister in the shooting and was really bent out of shape over it. He said he wanted to do something for her and everyone else who was killed. He knew that you loved Ember and he thought you’d like it. He gave the idea to the Deans and they all agreed. You’ve been out of school all week and no one could get a hold of you to tell you about it. It would mean a lot to everyone if Emberlynn’s closest friend spoke about her at it. If you’re up for it anyway”

I just looked at Gerard then away, “I’ll think about it”

Gerard patted my shoulder, “Just let us know”

He turned and walked away then giving me a wave over his shoulder.

I slid down and sat against the wall behind my back. I leaned back and looked up at the ceiling.

A memorial for everyone.

A memorial for Emberlynn.

I lied to the detective’s just now.

She had told me something else…but it didn’t have to deal with the shooter or the shooting. It had to deal with me.

She had told me that she loved me…