It's Not A Question But A Lesson Learned In Time
I'm Having Trouble Trying To Sleep.
My cell was what woke me several hours later, even though I missed the call. Upon checking I found that I already had three missed calls and four texts. Two of the three were from my dad, the third and most recent was from James. Likewise three of the texts were from my dad, and the last from James.
Message 1:
From: Dad
Hey F, where are you kid? Come over to Mike’s when you’re ready; we’re having a BBQ there tonight. Xx
Message 2:
From: Dad
I know you’re probably still mad at me, but can you at least let me know where you are? Please. Xx
Message 3:
From: James
Frankie. Please help me out here. You’re dads just text to ask me where you are. I dunno what to tell him!
I sighed and rang James.
“Frankie!” he exclaimed down the phone when he answered.
“Hey.”
“I guess you’re at um… Ben’s? Now then?”
“Yeah. I got here a few hours ago, I needed sleep. I didn’t get any on the plane out here.”
“Well that’s fair enough. But what am I supposed to tell your dad?!”
“Tell him to look more carefully in the kitchen, I left a note.” I shrugged to myself.
“Frankie. He’s really worried about you.”
“Well, tell him not to be then. I’m fine. I’m staying with Ben and his band mate Joe in Essex. But don’t tell him that bit.”
I heard him sigh. Then I heard two beeps, I had another call coming in, I checked the screen of my phone and saw it was my dad again.
“Dad’s ringing me.” I mumbled.
“Why don’t you just talk to him? At least tell him your ok, and why you left. Then at least he’ll know nothing bad has happened to you! Cause that’s what he’s worried about.”
“I can’t. Not yet.” I told him shaking my head even though he couldn’t see me.
“Fine. Listen, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow ok?”
“Ok. Bye.” I mumbled dully.
“See you later.” He hung up quickly, I’d clearly annoyed him more than I thought by leaving.
I hung up and saw I had a voice message.
“Frankie. What the hell is going on? I just found this note in the kitchen. What the fuck is it about? You can’t stick around to watch us do this again? Where the hell are you?!” My dad sounded pretty angry, but then there was about half a minute of silence and when he spoke again his voice seemed to break down. “Please just come back. We just need to talk about this. Don’t tell me I’ve lost you too.” He murmured.
My chest felt like it was about to burst, and tears pricked my eyes as I listened.
Why am I doing this again?
I switched my phone off after that. I couldn’t stand to listen to any more messages he might leave me, no more tonight anyway. I put the phone on the desk and dug my laptop out of my bag, setting that up in the middle of the desk as well, plugging it in so I could charge its battery. I went downstairs and found my way into the lounge.
“Hey Frankie.” Ben gave me a small wave when he saw me. He was sitting in a bean bag that was situated on the floor in front of the sofa. Joe was laid out across one sofa and Stoo on the other. Justin came up behind me and slung his arm around my shoulder, making me jump slightly.
“Sorry.” He apologized. “How’s the jet lag?”
“Not so bad now.” I smiled.
“Good. So you up for a battle on Guitar Hero? You’re just in time.” He asked.
“Err I dunno. I suck at it.”
“Ah you can’t be as bad as Joe surely?! He can’t usually make it through a song on beginner!”
“I reckon I could give him a run for his money on that one. I don’t think I’ve ever finished a song on the game.”
“Well. We’ll just have to find out whose worse then, won’t we?”
Clearly I wasn’t going to get out of playing.
“Ok fine. I’ll play. But it’s got to be an easy, short song!”
Ok I think I proved my point. I sucked! I played Bon Jovi, It's My Life, and didn’t even make it through the whole song before I got booed off. Then Joe attempted to beat my abysmal score. It made me feel slightly better that he didn’t finish the song either, but he still beat my final score.
“Now do you believe me?” I turned to Justin when Joe and I had both ‘finished’ our turns.
“Yeah. Maybe we should have just taken your word for it.” He smirked.
“Yes!” Joe exclaimed.
“What?” Ben asked.
“I’m finally better than someone on Guitar Hero!”
“Can I not use the excuse that I play drums, not guitar.”
“No. I tried that one last week. It didn’t pass.” Joe informed me.
“Oh so you’re the drummer of the band then?” I acknowledged. He nodded.
“Yeah. He’s the bad ass on the drums, Justin’s the cool kid slamming away on the bass, Ben the rocker shredding it on guitar, and that kinda just left me with the singing part.” Stoo grinned stupidly. “But I do sometimes help out on guitar too.” He added.
“Awesome. I should probably start listening to some of your stuff.”
“Yeah. You should. We’re awesome!” Joe exclaimed.
“Don’t think highly of yourselves then.” I smirked.
“No. Not at all.” Justin shrugged. “We’re playing at the Relentless Garage in Highbury tomorrow. You should come and watch.”
I nodded.
“Sounds cool.”
The next two hours were spent just talking about various and random stuff. Guitar Hero went forgotten not long after mine and Joe’s complete fail.
We mainly just asked each other a load of questions in an attempt to get to know each other better. It was easier for them; there was only one of me to ask questions, there were four of them for me to ask! It was nearly one am when Justin decided he should go home, Stoo had already fallen asleep half an hour earlier when our conversation slowed a bit and we started to run out of stuff to talk about.
“Well I shall see you pretty girls tomorrow!” he announced as he stood up.
“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” Ben nodded, getting up and walking into the hall with him.
“So, I think the key thing we haven’t asked.” Joe started up the question session again. I turned my attention to him. “Why did you up and leave Cali so suddenly?”
“Err. I guess the simple version is that I’ve been having some problems at home, mainly with my dad. And I decided I needed to get away from it all for a while.”
“And that’s the simple version? I guess you don’t really want to talk about the complicated version then?”
“No. Not right now anyway. I’m still trying to work it all out in my own head. Trying to explain it to someone would be impossible.”
Joe chuckled.
“I think I understand the feeling.” He smiled knowingly.
I yawned, only then realizing how tired I still was from the travelling.
“You look pretty dead on your feet there.” Joe laughed.
“I definitely feel it. I think I’m going to go pass out on my bed.” I grinned. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Night Frankie.” He called after me.
“See you tomorrow Ben.” I said as I passed Ben in the hall.
“You calling it a night then?” I nodded. “Ok. See you in the morning.” He gave a small salute as I ascended the stairs.
I decided to quickly check my cell, so I switched it on and waited for it to register.
It went off several times, one after the other, so I left it while I got ready to go to sleep. Once I was changed into something suitable to sleep in and I had tied my hair back in a loose pony tail I picked up my cell again, now that it had finished receiving messages.
Seven new messages and five miss calls. Five out of seven of the messages were from my dad, one was from James and another from Mike.
Message 1:
From: Dad
I’m getting worried now Frankie. Please. Tell me what’s going on. Or at least where you are so I know your safe. X
Message 2:
From: James
You’ve got to talk to him at some point. I don’t know how long I can keep pretending I don’t know anything. At least consider talking to him. And soon. Xxx
The next three messages from my dad were pretty much the same as the first.
Message 6:
From: Mike
Hey kid. What’s going on? Your dad’s getting really freaked out. Let us know where you are or something soon, we’re all worried about you. And Tre misses his swimming buddy. X
I managed to let out a small laugh at that, remembering last time we had been to a barbeque at Mike’s place. Tre and I ended up in the swimming pool for like three hours straight. Well nearly, the only time we got out was to dive back in, or do a cannon ball to cover the people sitting around the edge of the pool in water. It was one hell of a day.
The last one from my dad was slightly different.
Message 6:
From: Dad
Frankie. If you don’t tell me where you are soon, I’m calling the police. James doesn’t even seem to know where you are! Please. I have to know nothing bad has happened to you! I’m begging you. Joey keeps asking where you are too. He’s scared for you.
I couldn’t hold it off any longer. I wasn’t telling him where I was or what was going on. All I was doing was telling him I was safe. I can’t let him call the police.
Don’t worry about me. I’m safe. Tell Joe that I love him and I’ll speak to him real soon. Xo
I left it at that, not wanting to spill my guts out in a text. I quickly dug out its charger and found the nearest plug socket to the nightstand. Luckily I’d remembered to pack an adapter for the sockets, which I also dug out. I climbed into bed and tried to let everything drift out of my head to get a decent night’s sleep, I guess I hoped for too much. I turned countless times over the next hour, only to have the shit scared out of me when my cell went off. I looked at the screen; it was obviously a reply from my dad.
Message 1:
From: Dad
Thank god you finally replied! Now what the hell is going on?! Where are you? I'll come and get you and we can just talk it out. That’s all we need to do isn’t it?
I closed the message and put my phone back on the side and tried, once again to go to sleep. My cell went off three more times during the night, scaring the shit out of me every time, before I finally turned it off. I did eventually manage to fall asleep. But it was probably the most restless sleep I’ve ever had.
Why am I doing this again?
Message 1:
From: Dad
Hey F, where are you kid? Come over to Mike’s when you’re ready; we’re having a BBQ there tonight. Xx
Message 2:
From: Dad
I know you’re probably still mad at me, but can you at least let me know where you are? Please. Xx
Message 3:
From: James
Frankie. Please help me out here. You’re dads just text to ask me where you are. I dunno what to tell him!
I sighed and rang James.
“Frankie!” he exclaimed down the phone when he answered.
“Hey.”
“I guess you’re at um… Ben’s? Now then?”
“Yeah. I got here a few hours ago, I needed sleep. I didn’t get any on the plane out here.”
“Well that’s fair enough. But what am I supposed to tell your dad?!”
“Tell him to look more carefully in the kitchen, I left a note.” I shrugged to myself.
“Frankie. He’s really worried about you.”
“Well, tell him not to be then. I’m fine. I’m staying with Ben and his band mate Joe in Essex. But don’t tell him that bit.”
I heard him sigh. Then I heard two beeps, I had another call coming in, I checked the screen of my phone and saw it was my dad again.
“Dad’s ringing me.” I mumbled.
“Why don’t you just talk to him? At least tell him your ok, and why you left. Then at least he’ll know nothing bad has happened to you! Cause that’s what he’s worried about.”
“I can’t. Not yet.” I told him shaking my head even though he couldn’t see me.
“Fine. Listen, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow ok?”
“Ok. Bye.” I mumbled dully.
“See you later.” He hung up quickly, I’d clearly annoyed him more than I thought by leaving.
I hung up and saw I had a voice message.
“Frankie. What the hell is going on? I just found this note in the kitchen. What the fuck is it about? You can’t stick around to watch us do this again? Where the hell are you?!” My dad sounded pretty angry, but then there was about half a minute of silence and when he spoke again his voice seemed to break down. “Please just come back. We just need to talk about this. Don’t tell me I’ve lost you too.” He murmured.
My chest felt like it was about to burst, and tears pricked my eyes as I listened.
Why am I doing this again?
I switched my phone off after that. I couldn’t stand to listen to any more messages he might leave me, no more tonight anyway. I put the phone on the desk and dug my laptop out of my bag, setting that up in the middle of the desk as well, plugging it in so I could charge its battery. I went downstairs and found my way into the lounge.
“Hey Frankie.” Ben gave me a small wave when he saw me. He was sitting in a bean bag that was situated on the floor in front of the sofa. Joe was laid out across one sofa and Stoo on the other. Justin came up behind me and slung his arm around my shoulder, making me jump slightly.
“Sorry.” He apologized. “How’s the jet lag?”
“Not so bad now.” I smiled.
“Good. So you up for a battle on Guitar Hero? You’re just in time.” He asked.
“Err I dunno. I suck at it.”
“Ah you can’t be as bad as Joe surely?! He can’t usually make it through a song on beginner!”
“I reckon I could give him a run for his money on that one. I don’t think I’ve ever finished a song on the game.”
“Well. We’ll just have to find out whose worse then, won’t we?”
Clearly I wasn’t going to get out of playing.
“Ok fine. I’ll play. But it’s got to be an easy, short song!”
Ok I think I proved my point. I sucked! I played Bon Jovi, It's My Life, and didn’t even make it through the whole song before I got booed off. Then Joe attempted to beat my abysmal score. It made me feel slightly better that he didn’t finish the song either, but he still beat my final score.
“Now do you believe me?” I turned to Justin when Joe and I had both ‘finished’ our turns.
“Yeah. Maybe we should have just taken your word for it.” He smirked.
“Yes!” Joe exclaimed.
“What?” Ben asked.
“I’m finally better than someone on Guitar Hero!”
“Can I not use the excuse that I play drums, not guitar.”
“No. I tried that one last week. It didn’t pass.” Joe informed me.
“Oh so you’re the drummer of the band then?” I acknowledged. He nodded.
“Yeah. He’s the bad ass on the drums, Justin’s the cool kid slamming away on the bass, Ben the rocker shredding it on guitar, and that kinda just left me with the singing part.” Stoo grinned stupidly. “But I do sometimes help out on guitar too.” He added.
“Awesome. I should probably start listening to some of your stuff.”
“Yeah. You should. We’re awesome!” Joe exclaimed.
“Don’t think highly of yourselves then.” I smirked.
“No. Not at all.” Justin shrugged. “We’re playing at the Relentless Garage in Highbury tomorrow. You should come and watch.”
I nodded.
“Sounds cool.”
The next two hours were spent just talking about various and random stuff. Guitar Hero went forgotten not long after mine and Joe’s complete fail.
We mainly just asked each other a load of questions in an attempt to get to know each other better. It was easier for them; there was only one of me to ask questions, there were four of them for me to ask! It was nearly one am when Justin decided he should go home, Stoo had already fallen asleep half an hour earlier when our conversation slowed a bit and we started to run out of stuff to talk about.
“Well I shall see you pretty girls tomorrow!” he announced as he stood up.
“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” Ben nodded, getting up and walking into the hall with him.
“So, I think the key thing we haven’t asked.” Joe started up the question session again. I turned my attention to him. “Why did you up and leave Cali so suddenly?”
“Err. I guess the simple version is that I’ve been having some problems at home, mainly with my dad. And I decided I needed to get away from it all for a while.”
“And that’s the simple version? I guess you don’t really want to talk about the complicated version then?”
“No. Not right now anyway. I’m still trying to work it all out in my own head. Trying to explain it to someone would be impossible.”
Joe chuckled.
“I think I understand the feeling.” He smiled knowingly.
I yawned, only then realizing how tired I still was from the travelling.
“You look pretty dead on your feet there.” Joe laughed.
“I definitely feel it. I think I’m going to go pass out on my bed.” I grinned. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Night Frankie.” He called after me.
“See you tomorrow Ben.” I said as I passed Ben in the hall.
“You calling it a night then?” I nodded. “Ok. See you in the morning.” He gave a small salute as I ascended the stairs.
I decided to quickly check my cell, so I switched it on and waited for it to register.
It went off several times, one after the other, so I left it while I got ready to go to sleep. Once I was changed into something suitable to sleep in and I had tied my hair back in a loose pony tail I picked up my cell again, now that it had finished receiving messages.
Seven new messages and five miss calls. Five out of seven of the messages were from my dad, one was from James and another from Mike.
Message 1:
From: Dad
I’m getting worried now Frankie. Please. Tell me what’s going on. Or at least where you are so I know your safe. X
Message 2:
From: James
You’ve got to talk to him at some point. I don’t know how long I can keep pretending I don’t know anything. At least consider talking to him. And soon. Xxx
The next three messages from my dad were pretty much the same as the first.
Message 6:
From: Mike
Hey kid. What’s going on? Your dad’s getting really freaked out. Let us know where you are or something soon, we’re all worried about you. And Tre misses his swimming buddy. X
I managed to let out a small laugh at that, remembering last time we had been to a barbeque at Mike’s place. Tre and I ended up in the swimming pool for like three hours straight. Well nearly, the only time we got out was to dive back in, or do a cannon ball to cover the people sitting around the edge of the pool in water. It was one hell of a day.
The last one from my dad was slightly different.
Message 6:
From: Dad
Frankie. If you don’t tell me where you are soon, I’m calling the police. James doesn’t even seem to know where you are! Please. I have to know nothing bad has happened to you! I’m begging you. Joey keeps asking where you are too. He’s scared for you.
I couldn’t hold it off any longer. I wasn’t telling him where I was or what was going on. All I was doing was telling him I was safe. I can’t let him call the police.
Don’t worry about me. I’m safe. Tell Joe that I love him and I’ll speak to him real soon. Xo
I left it at that, not wanting to spill my guts out in a text. I quickly dug out its charger and found the nearest plug socket to the nightstand. Luckily I’d remembered to pack an adapter for the sockets, which I also dug out. I climbed into bed and tried to let everything drift out of my head to get a decent night’s sleep, I guess I hoped for too much. I turned countless times over the next hour, only to have the shit scared out of me when my cell went off. I looked at the screen; it was obviously a reply from my dad.
Message 1:
From: Dad
Thank god you finally replied! Now what the hell is going on?! Where are you? I'll come and get you and we can just talk it out. That’s all we need to do isn’t it?
I closed the message and put my phone back on the side and tried, once again to go to sleep. My cell went off three more times during the night, scaring the shit out of me every time, before I finally turned it off. I did eventually manage to fall asleep. But it was probably the most restless sleep I’ve ever had.
Why am I doing this again?