Whispered Dark Memories

I curled my knees to my chest trying to feel as small as I can. It felt like my world was caving in. My control on my emotions seemed to break. All the tears I held in. The memories. The anger. They all broke through. I was past the anger. I cried so many tears my knees were wet. Nobody knocked on the door. Nobody was home. Just me. Just me and my emotions crashing over me.
I told Bre and Kota I was sick. I didn’t want to lie and I really wanted to go to the gig but I couldn’t stop crying and shaking. They called a lot. I didn’t, couldn’t, gain strength to answer their calls. My head burst with pain. I covered my mouth so the screams wouldn’t escape and worry the neighbors. A vision shot through my mind. It was going so fast. And then it stopped. My emotions seemed controlled. The vision was stopped. And what I saw was something that made me cry happy tears.

I would find someone who will fill my broken heart. Someone who won’t leave me. All it shown was light and I could feel the warmth and happiness shiny through. Just when will I find that person?

It was the next day and I was feeling better. My emotions were in control and I knew it was easy for people to see the sadness in my eye because it seemed to poor out of them.
After I had gotten dressed when my phone rang.
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

“Hello?”
“Hey Kat! Its Emily, the owner of Middle Street Café. I have a question for you.” Emily was a nice woman. I meant her a few times.
“Ask away Em.”
“Do you think you, Bre, and Kota could come and sing at the café tonight? Some of your softer stuff.”
“I’ll have to ask the girls but I’m totally up for it.”
“Ok thanks so much. Can you call me before 2?”
I looked at the clock. It was 11.
“Sure can do. Bye Em.”
“Bye.”
I hung up and walked out the door. Locking the door behind me I walked out to my car. On my way to Bella’s house I called Bre.
“Hey is Kota with you?” I already know the answer.
“Of course. Your already on speaker.”
“Ok chikas. Emma from Middle Street café called and she wanted us to go a gig today. What do you think?”
No answer.
“hello?’
“Well umm we were going to La Push to hang with the guys. We still thought you were sick. And we called and called and you didn’t answer.” Kota said.
“Oh. That’s ok. Im feeling totally better. And I’m heading to Bellas right now. She wanted to talk to me about something.” I was closer to Bella than Bre and Kota.
“Ok well then you can just go and play some of your songs. We will talk to you later the guys are practically pounding on our door.” Bre laughed.
“Ok will do. Talk to you girls later. Love ya’s” I hung up the phone and sped off towards Bella’s.
Waking up I see that everything is OK
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliant
Makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliance
Please don't go away
Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

I sang out my encore and everyone clapped and cheered.
“Thanks so much guys!” I waved bye and Bella grabbed my guitar case. “Thanks.”
“No problem. So what songs did you sing today? I want to know the names so I can suggest them to you later.” She laughed.
“’My Happy Ending’. ‘I’m with you’. ‘You’ and ‘Innocence’. In that order.”
“ok I will remember.”
I sighed autographs and then Bella and I took off toward the cliff diving place. I felt like something was going to happen but I ignored the feeling. I went through so much yesterday so I thought it was an after effect.
I pulled over and we got out. We headed to the edge of the cliff. Bella looked down and i thought I could taste her emotion. Adrenaline. It tasted like cherries. How in the-
“I wonder what will happen if I jump.” She said.
“Bella. You’re not jumping. The water has too much of a current for one. For two Is too far down. And for three why the hell would you want to do that?!”
She looked at me. Tears brimmed her eyes.
“It’s the only way I can see him. When I’m in danger he comes. I cant live without him.” She turned and jumped.
“Bella!” I fell onto my knees. She was already in the water.