Status: About to give up on this story x(
A little too ironic
Fifth of April, 2008
I slipped on my black dress and my small black cardigan and headed for the door. I tried desperately to avoid the photos hanging along the hall way walls and instead took great interest in the sequences on my flat black ballet style shoes. I felt like they were taunting me to the point that I almost looked up to make sure it was just a photo.” Photos can’t hurt you, Dee” I tried to convince myself. But they can hurt you. They can bring up painful memories or be used for blackmail or... The car horn sounded, snapping me out of my thoughts and I sped up my pace.
Mum was waiting in the car and most likely getting impatient. She hated being late for anything and the fact that our Honda Accord didn’t have any air-conditioning didn’t help the situation much.
As I approached the front door I saw Ryan. He was dressed in a very tidy black suit and it made him look sexier than ever. His dirty blonde hair had been tidied up so that he looked respectable but it took away some of the adorable boyish look that I loved on him. He held my purse and the door open for me and I would have laughed at him holding my purse if my emotions weren’t running so high and stress wasn’t taking over.
I smiled weakly up at him and he wrapped his arm around my small waist. He gently kissed me on the forehead, a small action that managed to ease some of the stress and pain that I was feeling, and shut the door behind us, directing us in the direction of mum’s car.
Today wasn’t going to be easy but having Ryan there would make it that bit easier. I knew I wouldn’t have to be alone through this for one moment which was a very comforting thought. He would be there for me and help in any way he could. He was pretty amazing like that. I was always so grateful to have found him. He was the most wonderful boyfriend anyone could ask for.
As we drove to the church my mind was filled with flash backs of my childhood. Grandpa had always been there to paint a smile on my face and now he was gone. I wasn’t sure how I would be able to carry on without his joyful bubbly face to make me smile and wipe away my tears when they fell.
My mind began to slip into a dark place. It felt like I was spiralling downwards; falling so fast that my surroundings were a blur of colour and at any moment I would hit the concrete with a sickening “splat”. The moment of when I found out about Grandpa’s passing kept playing through my mind, consuming it and making the darkness feel blacker.
“Dee, He passed away peacefully in his sleep honey”
“NO! He can’t have! He was so healthy! There was no warning! He can’t be gone mum he can’t!”
“I know its hard baby girl-”
I was pulled out of my depressing thoughts by Ryan gently shaking me to let me know we had arrived. As I stepped out of our car a wave of sadness and grievance washed over me and I felt like I was going to collapse under the strain. Ryan came over and wrapped his arm around my waist again. It was both comforting to be able to feel him, to prove he was real in all this and stabilising to have him there to make sure I didn’t collapse under all the emotions.
We quietly walked in and took our seats. Five minutes later and the service began.
“Today we are here to say goodbye to a loved one. A man that filled all of our lives with joy and happiness.”
A lone tear slide down my pale cheek and I knew it wouldn’t be long before another followed in its place. By the end of the service my face would most likely be stained in streaks of my black eyeliner.
~*~*~*~
“Paul turned ninety eight just six days ago. I remember he was so happy because he had just won the lottery. The next day he was gone and so was a piece of my happiness. So was a piece of all our happiness. He will be sorely missed.”
In all this madness, one thought slide through my mind and I was surprised at how normal it sounded. It didn’t sound like something you would be thinking at a funeral of your Grandpa.
“Now isn’t that ironic, don’t ya think? A little too ironic.”
Mum was waiting in the car and most likely getting impatient. She hated being late for anything and the fact that our Honda Accord didn’t have any air-conditioning didn’t help the situation much.
As I approached the front door I saw Ryan. He was dressed in a very tidy black suit and it made him look sexier than ever. His dirty blonde hair had been tidied up so that he looked respectable but it took away some of the adorable boyish look that I loved on him. He held my purse and the door open for me and I would have laughed at him holding my purse if my emotions weren’t running so high and stress wasn’t taking over.
I smiled weakly up at him and he wrapped his arm around my small waist. He gently kissed me on the forehead, a small action that managed to ease some of the stress and pain that I was feeling, and shut the door behind us, directing us in the direction of mum’s car.
Today wasn’t going to be easy but having Ryan there would make it that bit easier. I knew I wouldn’t have to be alone through this for one moment which was a very comforting thought. He would be there for me and help in any way he could. He was pretty amazing like that. I was always so grateful to have found him. He was the most wonderful boyfriend anyone could ask for.
As we drove to the church my mind was filled with flash backs of my childhood. Grandpa had always been there to paint a smile on my face and now he was gone. I wasn’t sure how I would be able to carry on without his joyful bubbly face to make me smile and wipe away my tears when they fell.
My mind began to slip into a dark place. It felt like I was spiralling downwards; falling so fast that my surroundings were a blur of colour and at any moment I would hit the concrete with a sickening “splat”. The moment of when I found out about Grandpa’s passing kept playing through my mind, consuming it and making the darkness feel blacker.
“Dee, He passed away peacefully in his sleep honey”
“NO! He can’t have! He was so healthy! There was no warning! He can’t be gone mum he can’t!”
“I know its hard baby girl-”
I was pulled out of my depressing thoughts by Ryan gently shaking me to let me know we had arrived. As I stepped out of our car a wave of sadness and grievance washed over me and I felt like I was going to collapse under the strain. Ryan came over and wrapped his arm around my waist again. It was both comforting to be able to feel him, to prove he was real in all this and stabilising to have him there to make sure I didn’t collapse under all the emotions.
We quietly walked in and took our seats. Five minutes later and the service began.
“Today we are here to say goodbye to a loved one. A man that filled all of our lives with joy and happiness.”
A lone tear slide down my pale cheek and I knew it wouldn’t be long before another followed in its place. By the end of the service my face would most likely be stained in streaks of my black eyeliner.
~*~*~*~
“Paul turned ninety eight just six days ago. I remember he was so happy because he had just won the lottery. The next day he was gone and so was a piece of my happiness. So was a piece of all our happiness. He will be sorely missed.”
In all this madness, one thought slide through my mind and I was surprised at how normal it sounded. It didn’t sound like something you would be thinking at a funeral of your Grandpa.
“Now isn’t that ironic, don’t ya think? A little too ironic.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Any errors, let me know please.Thoughts? Keep? Kill?